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Pete_1
Guest
i just got invited to go out to a bar with a few friends i have not seen for ages, they will be getting drunk, i wont, is it wrong for me to go?
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jrabs
Guest
You are not responsible for the actions of others. You don’t know for sure they will be getting drunk - but you can always offer to drive them home. They may well surprise you:thumbsup:
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Pete_1
Guest
If they don’t know getting drunk is sinfull is it my responsibility to tell them (they are not Chirstains)?
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jrabs
Guest
Is it sinful if they are not Christians? I am not sure about that. Are they of age to be drinking?
Guess I am wondering how you are gonna tell them. Please be careful to use a kind and loving tone and not a self-righteous one or you’ll lose any kind of witness you intend to make.
Also be careful to point out that drinking per se is not the sin. You also need to be careful about pointing out the plank in someone’s eye whilst you are holding a beer.
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Pete_1
Guest
what i meant to say is am i obliged to tell them that they should not get drunk, as the CCC says you can share in others’ sins by silence
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jrabs
Guest
Where does the CCC say that drinking is a sin? How are you certain that they will all get drunk? They may stop after the second drink. That’s not sinful.
And what I asked is how you are going to do that? What is your approach?
You can be a Christian by driving them home. That is an act of kindness.
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Pete_1
Guest
in all honesty i do not want to say anything, but am i obliged to, if they are geting drunk?
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Sr_Sally
Guest
I would phrase it more that they are better company when they aren’t drunk. And since you haven’t seen them in awhile, you may be pleasantly suprised. Finally, you can choose to leave before the evening gets too far adavanced. Suggest appropriate driving plans before you leave if you do that. There is plently of info out there about the dangers of getting drunk, I don’t think you need to do more than remind them. I assume of course that your friends are of age.
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jrabs
Guest
You are not obliged to call them sinners and rebuke them for getting drunk. You’ll likely get into a bar fight if they are drunk. They are not Catholics, like you said - so the CCC means nothing to them.
But like I mentioned, you can offer them rides home. You can show that by your limiting of consumption. You can advocate drinking responsibly and setting personal limits. There are numerous ways you can show your love and concern and live your Catholic life.
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rush176
Guest
Perhaps a better way to address this is to see if they are getting drunk to ask them to give you their car keys for you to drive them home or offer to call them a cab. If it seems appropriate go ahead and mention the sin of drunkeness. Probably it there won’t be a good time to mention it that night but afterwards you may get a better chance to tell them that you don’t like getting drunk, due to your faith, and that you would appreciate them respecting your desire to stay sober. Also you are a good position to protest prior to the next outing. Don’t cut them off as friends, unless they don’t respect your feelings, but use your friendship to expose them to the faith.
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Philthy
Guest
a couple of things:
It is always difficult to witness to friends and family…“A prophet is not without honor except in his native place.”
Have you sought direction from God on how deal with this? Spend some time in prayer - faithfully expecting guidance. Have some faith! Know that God is on your side and loves these men also. Trust He will help you.
The positive action of going with them and not getting drunk is a form of witness; it is not “remaining silent”. Actions speak louder than words, and we are to “preach the gospel always” but only use words when necessary.
Also, let yourself out of the box you have created. You have already doomed the evening to failure in your mind and it is weighing you down emotionally and spiritually. At least have a little hope that things will go better than expected. It sounds like you were once like they were and you have since changed - why do you not entertain the possibility that one or more of them has grown up some?
Lastly, in case things do go as you fear, is there a “Plan B” that you can introduce into the evening - at the bar, unexpectedly - which doesnt involve alcohol - like a movie or a sporting event or whatever? Always gotta have a plan B…
It is always difficult to witness to friends and family…“A prophet is not without honor except in his native place.”
Have you sought direction from God on how deal with this? Spend some time in prayer - faithfully expecting guidance. Have some faith! Know that God is on your side and loves these men also. Trust He will help you.
The positive action of going with them and not getting drunk is a form of witness; it is not “remaining silent”. Actions speak louder than words, and we are to “preach the gospel always” but only use words when necessary.
Also, let yourself out of the box you have created. You have already doomed the evening to failure in your mind and it is weighing you down emotionally and spiritually. At least have a little hope that things will go better than expected. It sounds like you were once like they were and you have since changed - why do you not entertain the possibility that one or more of them has grown up some?
Lastly, in case things do go as you fear, is there a “Plan B” that you can introduce into the evening - at the bar, unexpectedly - which doesnt involve alcohol - like a movie or a sporting event or whatever? Always gotta have a plan B…
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Roman20
Guest
Go out and if you like beer have a beer you dont have to get drunk.
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CarrieH
Guest
If I were in this situation, I would go and have a beer or two, and maybe spring for a pizza or some nachos or whatever so my friends wouldn’t be drinking on an empty stomach. I’d try to set a good example of temperance, and if I wanted to say something, I’d make it about me and not sound as if I’m accusing them. “I’m only having a couple of beers because I’d rather be moderate about things than to get trashed” rather than “You guys need to slow down.” And I’d be the designated driver. 
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