what would you have done?

[Luvs2Learn]

So, the other day I was at the Ice rink with my hockey loving son. he had a power skating clinic. I also had my 2 year old daughter with me. The others were at home with daddy. I was standing in the players bench booth watching my little guy skate with his hockey buddies. This lady standing next to me was snapping pictures of her daughter who was with a different instructor on the ice. She then turned to me and said it was her daughters first time ice skating. I said well, she looks very brave out there.

Her mother smiled and then proceeded to chat up a storm. She started telling me about how she loves watching figure skating in the olympics and then as she said that I thought I smelled alcohol on her breath. But I wasn’t sure. she then took a sip from her clear beverage container. I couldn’t tell what was in it. either water or something else???

She then started telling me about the terrible year she was having. Her husband was cheating on her, they were in couples councling, then he filed for divorce and left. Then whe lost her job due to economic cut backs. and some other really sad tragedys in her family and life. In other words this poor woman had a horrible year. (and she was telling me all this, a total stranger)
But as she was talking to me I really think I smelled alcohol on her breath. I did’nt know what to do at that moment.or if I could even do anything? (ie call the cops?) If she was drinking she should not be driving her 4 year old daughter home in a car. My daughter then told me she had to go to the bathroom. We went. We were in there a while. When I got back to the ice the mom and daughter were already gone.

If this happens again, or I see this lady next week what should I do? or what can I do? If she again smells like alchol? What if I am wrong and she just smells and its not alcohol but something else?(but I’m pretty sure it was alcohol I smelled).

Is there anything I can do? advice? suggestions?

 

[puzzleannie]

well you could also have smelled the tell-tale breath of a diabetic whose sugar is out of whack, and she could have been drinking water. But it is the classic case of do you let a drunk drive, and how you judge whether or not she is drunk. Presumably bartenders have that talent since they can be held liable for letting a drunk get in a car. I assume our personal liability extends only to those whom we have been serving alcohol. As for moral responsibility, certainly if some one acted visibly drunk I would do what I could to prevent her from getting in the car with a child, but practically, don’t know what that would be short of use of force. yes you could certainly call the police and relay her license number, but what else could you do?

 

[Charlotte1776]

I’m not sure what I would do in that situation either, and I’m not sure there would be anything I could really do at all. I sure hope that lady wasn’t drinking alcohol out of a bottle - plenty of acoholics hide the stuff in empty coke bottles, etc. Hopefully it was just water.
I’ve never smelled a diabetic’s breath, but it is supposed to be fruity. I kind of doubt it could be mistaken for alcohol. If you smelled alcohol on her breath she had probably been drinking at some point.
If she were slurring her speech or walking unsteadily I would call the cops before I let her drive home with a 4-year-old. But if she only smells vaguely like alcohol, maybe she was under the legal limit. It might not be worth causing a scene about.
Sounds like this lady needs prayers more than anything.

 

[Apryl]

She was chatting you up? Being cordial and social?

I would have ASKED HER, ‘hey, is that a drink?’

Simple. Get an answer to the question you have.

If she was drinking, even if she lied to you, ‘Oh, of course not!’, she would have at least had her coat tail pulled to not do it any more than she had.

If she was brazen, ‘Yeah. Have some?’, you would have seen that she very likely has a problem, something you can’t even begin to try to address.

If she wasn’t drinking, she could have cleared things up for you, ‘No. I’m diabetic. A lot of people think I have been’ or ‘No. I’m diabetic. If you smell that, I need to check my sugar’.

Worst case scenario? “How dare you ask me that??? Who do you think you are. You are not the boss of me!”, would have had you off the hook for the Chatty Cathy on your next visit.

But no matter what, if you are in that situation again, because you are not trained, you can only go by what you see and know, if you simply ask, that gives you something to work with.

The safety of not only the woman in question, but her child, and others on the street. I would hate for my family to be at risk when it’s not necessary.

 

[Apryl]

I would not be so concerned about smell but, rather her behavior. If she acted drunk, slurred her words or acted irresponsibly then that would be a red flag…but simply smell? No, I would not make an issue of that. In your post you did not mention that she had slurred speech, glassy eyes or stumbled when she walked or any other tell-tale sign…you only mentioned odor which (in my opinion) is probably not enough to call the police.

I disagree.

You see, the glassy eyes and stumbing are not early warning signs. That typically happens once a person is well into Three Sheets to the Wind status.

And some people, if they drink enough, they don’t even show those signs.

I’m not saying to call the police, but if you can keep the woman there for a couple of hours after her last drink, that is the best course of action.

 

[Catholic90]

If she acted drunk, slurred her words or acted irresponsibly then that would be a red flag…but simply smell?

Alcoholics do not necessarily exhibit ANY of those classic signs, except the smell.

I know someone who was walking perfectly normal, speech was normal, etc., but was pulled over and blew a 0.25! He had been an alcoholic for years. Only by smell could you tell he was imbibing; never by physical characteristics. (and he was also a diabetic).

 

[Sierrah]

So, the other day I was at the Ice rink with my hockey loving son. he had a power skating clinic. I also had my 2 year old daughter with me. The others were at home with daddy. I was standing in the players bench booth watching my little guy skate with his hockey buddies. This lady standing next to me was snapping pictures of her daughter who was with a different instructor on the ice. She then turned to me and said it was her daughters first time ice skating. I said well, she looks very brave out there.

Her mother smiled and then proceeded to chat up a storm. She started telling me about how she loves watching figure skating in the olympics and then as she said that I thought I smelled alcohol on her breath. But I wasn’t sure. she then took a sip from her clear beverage container. I couldn’t tell what was in it. either water or something else???

She then started telling me about the terrible year she was having. Her husband was cheating on her, they were in couples councling, then he filed for divorce and left. Then whe lost her job due to economic cut backs. and some other really sad tragedys in her family and life. In other words this poor woman had a horrible year. (and she was telling me all this, a total stranger)
But as she was talking to me I really think I smelled alcohol on her breath. I did’nt know what to do at that moment.or if I could even do anything? (ie call the cops?) If she was drinking she should not be driving her 4 year old daughter home in a car. My daughter then told me she had to go to the bathroom. We went. We were in there a while. When I got back to the ice the mom and daughter were already gone.

If this happens again, or I see this lady next week what should I do? or what can I do? If she again smells like alchol? What if I am wrong and she just smells and its not alcohol but something else?(but I’m pretty sure it was alcohol I smelled).

Is there anything I can do? advice? suggestions?

I would have said a prayer for her and her family. Especially her daughter. I would put space between you if you meet up with her again though. People like that can suck the life out you so be careful.

 

[dconklin]

well you could also have smelled the tell-tale breath of a diabetic whose sugar is out of whack, and she could have been drinking water.

If her sugar was that out of whack should she have been driving?

 

[Apryl]

I would have said a prayer for her and her family. Especially her daughter. I would put space between you if you meet up with her again though. People like that can suck the life out you so be careful.

But what does that do?

What good does that do for the family? It’s not like they are careening over a hill and there is no way to prevent trouble.