What would you say to my friend?

[Binary]

I have a dear friend who is Catholic but has stopped going to mass. She tells me this is because she has always considered the homily to be the most valuable part of the mass, and the church we currently attend has a boring homilist, so she “gets nothing” out of going.

I told her that the center of the mass is not the homily but the Eucharist, and that she should focus on that. Her response was that it’s “just a cracker,” and that she has never experienced the sacrament as more than eating a piece of bread.

I know that I’m not responsible for the decisions she makes, but I’d like to try to gently convince her of the value of the mass and communion.

So… what would you say to her if you were in my place?

 

[ALLGIRLS]

I have a dear friend who is Catholic but has stopped going to mass. She tells me this is because she has always considered the homily to be the most valuable part of the mass, and the church we currently attend has a boring homilist, so she “gets nothing” out of going.

I told her that the center of the mass is not the homily but the Eucharist, and that she should focus on that. Her response was that it’s “just a cracker,” and that she has never experienced the sacrament as more than eating a piece of bread.

I know that I’m not responsible for the decisions she makes, but I’d like to try to gently convince her of the value of the mass and communion.

So… what would you say to her if you were in my place?

Hi.

How truly sad, to not recognize the Miracle that is the Eucharist. First, direct her to John 6, then, give her a book about or point her to a website documenting all the Eucharistic Miracles that have occured. Would she be open to reading what the early Church Fathers have to say about the Real Presence? If all that doesn’t convince, I don’t know what would (personally experiencing a miracle, perhaps? ). Good Luck.

In Christ,

Ellen

 

[Kristen]

Her response was that it’s “just a cracker,” and that she has never experienced the sacrament as more than eating a piece of bread.

What a sad situation!

If she were my friend, I would first pray (perhaps a novena to St. John Vianney or another favorite saint, but St. Vianney – whose memorial is today – was a very humble and gifted parish priest who helped many souls) and sacrifice intensively (maybe give-up a favorite food) for a number of days for her to understand the Truth about the Eucharist and for me to have the words to reach her.

Then, I would tell her that her comment about the Eucharist being a “cracker” troubles me because such an erroneous belief keeps her from experiencing the fullness of what Jesus intends for her, that she is “missing out”! I would point out that Jesus Himself gave us the words of consecration at the Last Supper and told us to repeat them in memory of Him, and that He also clearly told His followers that they could not have life without eating His Flesh and drinking His Blood. Many of them, the Gospel tells us, fell away because they found this gross and confusing, but He did not stop them. Rather, He gave those who would believe the Eucharist – and His Presence is the very source of our life, our greatest treasure! She may not feel this emotionally, but His Presence is real and effective in our lives, even though our senses fail us. He loves us so much that He humbles Himself to appear as bread, just to be close to us, and risks being alone and even dishonored in the Tabernacle all over the world for us. I would tell her that many have struggled with this in the past, but Christ has helped them understand, in some cases miraculously (such as at Lanciano).

I would then invite her to go to Adoration (preferably at a reverent/beautiful chapel) with me for an hour to talk to Our Lord. I would keep praying for her and be “there” for her if she needs to talk about this. I would tell her that she is in my prayers and that she can always come back to me about this.

Though it is sad that she received Him for so long without love, at least she is not now dishonoring Him in that way. One can only hope that she will realize her error, make a good Confession, and come to honor Him and help herself by properly receiving Him.

I’ll keep you and your friend in my prayers.

 

[counciltrent]

since **vatican II **it has become just a piece of bread

send her here : In Today's Catholic World (TCW) True Catholic News’

 

[Kristen]

since **vatican II **it has become just a piece of bread

send her here : In Today's Catholic World (TCW) True Catholic News’

Ah, that’s the ticket – send the poor confused friend from one heresy (disbelief in the Real Presence) to another (sedevacantism)!

“counciltrent,” it is **shameful **to try to drive people out of the Church and into the darkness of schism! Christ had very strong words against those who will not enter Truth themselves and refuse to let others enter either! I beg you to reconsider attacking the Christ’s Church, for it will not do you nor anyone else anything but harm!

P.S. Are you, by chance, “Paddy the Papist” under yet another new identity?

 

[NewUlm1976_2000]

I have a dear friend who is Catholic but has stopped going to mass. She tells me this is because she has always considered the homily to be the most valuable part of the mass, and the church we currently attend has a boring homilist, so she “gets nothing” out of going.

I told her that the center of the mass is not the homily but the Eucharist, and that she should focus on that. Her response was that it’s “just a cracker,” and that she has never experienced the sacrament as more than eating a piece of bread.

I know that I’m not responsible for the decisions she makes, but I’d like to try to gently convince her of the value of the mass and communion.

So… what would you say to her if you were in my place?

Have you tried different parishes with different priests with homilies that may get her engaged again?

 

[kage_ar]

Find out when RCIA begins and invite her to attend with you - she needs to learn the Catholic Faith.

 

[Dauphin]

Have you tried different parishes with different priests with homilies that may get her engaged again?

I really don’t think that’s the core issue here. Trying to lure people back to Mass with flash instead of substance is bound to fail.

Only God can give her a lively faith in the Eucharist and a repentance from her errors. At this point, all you can do is make her aware of the doctrine, recommend some reading, and pray for her.

 

[benedictgal]

Have you tried different parishes with different priests with homilies that may get her engaged again?

With all due respect, NewUlm, you never cease to amaze me.

The homily is not the end all and be all of the Mass. If we were Protestants who concentrate only on the Word and preaching, that would be an entirely different story. However, we are Catholic and we have the Word and the Holy Sacrifice.

I would tell the friend in question that there is more to the Mass than the homily. I’ll be the first to admit: I am truly blessed to have a parochial vicar who is the finest homilist in the diocese. Our local ordinary pales in comparison. My PV sounds like a young Joseph Ratzinger (of course, it doesn’t hurt that we share Benedict books). That being said, I’ve also been to Masses were the preaching just isn’t there. However, even though the documents, especially Sacramentum Caritatis, do address the need to up the ante on the homily, we are not merely a people of the Book. We are also a people of the Eucharist.

I would tell the friend that at every Mass, the veil between heaven and earth is lifted and the entire Church joins in on the Holy Sacrifice, not just the bodies in the pews. The Church Triumphant (the saints) and the Church Suffering (the souls in Purgatory) come together. At every Mass time and space is suspended and we are just as present at Calvary as were the Blessed Mother and Sts. John and Mary Magdalene.

To merely reduce it to a homily is to not fully understand what the Mass is.

Now, to the poster who blamed it all on Vatican II, I would say this: the Council is not to blame. If you want to assess culpability, then blame the folks who were drunk on the alleged “spirit” of Vatican II and have no clue what these documents actually say. The Council never, never, abrogated the teachings of the Council of Trent. It maintains the doctrines. Don’t blame the Council; blame the shabby interpretations by a few loud mouths who unfortunately wormed their way into the thought of the faithful.

 

[NewUlm1976_2000]

With all due respect, NewUlm, you never cease to amaze me.

The homily is not the end all and be all of the Mass. If we were Protestants who concentrate only on the Word and preaching, that would be an entirely different story. However, we are Catholic and we have the Word and the Holy Sacrifice.

Where did I say that? Please stop making assumptions.

The homily is important as communion. Some posts here are making the homily out to be lesser, but people in the pews get inspiration from different parts. I am not sure where the OP is, and the locations of surrounding parishes, but it can be helpful to have the OP’s friend search out a spiritually growing homily, that seems to be her connection to the mass. Nobody is bashing communion. The order of the mass is planned out to have a personal spirituality grow through the readings, homily, and then communion. If it falls flat in the middle for some, the the parts afterwards would not seem as meanful.

 

[Kristen]

The homily is important as communion. … The order of the mass is planned out to have a personal spirituality grow through the readings, homily, and then communion. If it falls flat in the middle for some, the the parts afterwards would not seem as meanful.

Respectfully, the homily is **not **as important as the Eucharist. The homily helps us draw a lesson from God’s word, while the Eucharist feeds us with God’s Word Himself – Jesus! Perhaps one could say that the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist are equally important, but that is because the readings are from God’s revelation and the Eucharist is God, not because the former part of the mass contains the homily! After all, it is Our Lord’s suffering, death and resurrection that save us, not His words, however important.

This is not a minor point; perhaps the biggest problem in the Church today is that we do not treasure the Eucharist enough at all and honor Him, and thus do not bring Him to others!

Also, the Mass is not about “personal spirituality,” nor is it some sort of theater production that needs to keep us riveted for the end to be “meaningful”! It is about us as a community of individuals **worshiping **God and receiving His great gifts to us. If we are not riveted and the end is not meaningful to us, perhaps the problem is that we don’t realize that we are at Calvary and Our Lord is on the Cross for each one of us. What could be more riveting?!

 

[benedictgal]

Where did I say that? Please stop making assumptions.

The homily is important as communion. Some posts here are making the homily out to be lesser, but people in the pews get inspiration from different parts. I am not sure where the OP is, and the locations of surrounding parishes, but it can be helpful to have the OP’s friend search out a spiritually growing homily, that seems to be her connection to the mass. Nobody is bashing communion. The order of the mass is planned out to have a personal spirituality grow through the readings, homily, and then communion. If it falls flat in the middle for some, the the parts afterwards would not seem as meanful.

You suggested that she go to another parish in order to get engaging homilies. That sounds like my Baptist co-worker saying that she’s going to the interdenominational ecclesial community on Wednesdays to hear the minister preach because he’s enlivened.

That’s your typical Protestant mindset. But, when all they have is the Word, that’s all they have. We have both the Word and the Sacrifice. Your post focused more on the homily, which is the Protestant way of looking at things. NewULM, we are more than the Protestants. We have the living presence of Christ. We witness the Passion, Death and Resurrection of the Lord. We are as much present at Calvary as were the Blessed Mother and Sts. John and Mary Magdalene. We are more than just about the homily.

 

[nightwalker]

If it were not for her disbelief in the Real Presence, I would agree with NewUlm. If she believed in the Real Presence, but stopped going to Mass because of bad homilies, the solution would be to find another parish (but if she believed in the Presence than why would she reject it over a bad homilist?)

However, if she were to go to Mass she would most likely, “without discerning the body, eat and drink judgment on [her]self”.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith, the homily is of lesser (albiet great) dignity than that. Come to think of it, the readings, particularly the Gospel, are of greater importance than the homily, as they are the inspired word of God.

Perhaps, for the time being, someone could recommend a good source for videos of good catecheical (particularly Eucharistic) homilies by gifted speakers (eg, Fr Corapi?).

 

[hilde_the_dog]

I don’t know how she would react to a weekday mass at which there may be NO HOMILY. This happens at all the weekday masses at which our new priest is the celebrant. It disturbed many folks who did not understand it was optional. That should at least inform her that the homily is not the most important part of the mass if it is optional during the weekday masses.

 

[Binary]

Thanks to all of you who responded. She is at a point in her life where I believe she cannot accept criticism on this subject, so I think I will pray a novena for her. I thank you for your prayers for her and myself, too.

 

[Newbie2]

You suggested that she go to another parish in order to get engaging homilies. That sounds like my Baptist co-worker saying that she’s going to the interdenominational ecclesial community on Wednesdays to hear the minister preach because he’s enlivened.

That’s your typical Protestant mindset. But, when all they have is the Word, that’s all they have. We have both the Word and the Sacrifice. Your post focused more on the homily, which is the Protestant way of looking at things. NewULM, we are more than the Protestants. We have the living presence of Christ. We witness the Passion, Death and Resurrection of the Lord. We are as much present at Calvary as were the Blessed Mother and Sts. John and Mary Magdalene. We are more than just about the homily.

Well, BG, my typical Catholic mindset sees some validity to NU’s suggestion.

You can lead a horse to water, but cannot make (her) drink. If a different homilist would “get” her to come to mass, is that not better than her going at all?

Yes, of course, there is concern over this person’s perception of the Eucharist, and that in some way at some time needs to change, but the OP says she isn’t ready for that now.

Maybe a “better” (in her eyes) homily every week is the first step for her, perhaps leading to a correct understanding and appreciation of the Eucharist. Maybe not.

As Bill Murry’s character in “What about Bob” was taught…Baby steps.

 

[kristie_m]

Do you have a parish nearby that has Eucharistic Adoration? I might have the wrong guy, but I think it was Tim Staples who said that he didn’t believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist until a friend of his challenged him to spend some time before the Blessed Sacrament. He did it and is now a renowned Catholic apologist! Just a thought. I know it worked for me too.

 

[JimG]

I told her that the center of the mass is not the homily but the Eucharist, and that she should focus on that. Her response was that it’s “just a cracker,” and that she has never experienced the sacrament as more than eating a piece of bread.

If it’s just a cracker, then she’s right; and there is no point in going to Mass.

 

[nightwalker]

Perhaps, for the time being, someone could recommend a good source for videos of good catecheical (particularly Eucharistic) homilies by gifted speakers (eg, Fr Corapi?).

I found some time to take a look:

Videos: Archbishop Sheen, Father Corapi, Air Maria (particularly this)

Audio: EWTN podcasts,

 

[Rickwood]

Respectfully, the homily is **not **as important as the Eucharist. The homily helps us draw a lesson from God’s word, while the **Eucharist feeds us with God’s Word Himself **-- Jesus! Perhaps one could say that the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist are equally important, but that is because the readings are from God’s revelation and the Eucharist is God, not because the former part of the mass contains the homily! After all, it is Our Lord’s suffering, death and resurrection that save us, not His words, however important.

This is not a minor point; perhaps the biggest problem in the Church today is that we do not treasure the Eucharist enough at all and honor Him, and thus do not bring Him to others!

Also, the Mass is not about “personal spirituality,” nor is it some sort of theater production that needs to keep us riveted for the end to be “meaningful”! It is about us as a community of individuals **worshiping **God and receiving His great gifts to us. If we are not riveted and the end is not meaningful to us, perhaps the problem is that we don’t realize that we are at Calvary and Our Lord is on the Cross for each one of us. What could be more riveting?!

I hope you are aware that receiving Holy Communion is NOT the primary reason we attend Mass. The primary reason we attend Mass is to be present at Calvary as Jesus Christ is offered to His Father for propitiation of our sins – past, present and future.

All too often these days people seem to feel that receiving Holy Communion is #1 and it is not.