What's catholic teaching on cryogenic sperm banking for fertility purposes?

[Elizium23]

It hasn’t been mentioned yet to my memory, and yet there is an elephant in the room that needs to be acknowledged. Adoption of children and having a family has been pooh-poohed as a consolation prize, but has anyone even considered that this may be God’s message to this young man that he should consider the priesthood or religious life? Certainly he would not be immediately accepted into a formation program with a potentially terminal illness, but should he recover well from his leukemia then perhaps he should consider dedicating his life to the service of Christ in His Church. Infertility would not be an obstacle for a celibate deacon, priest, or brother.

What the OP needs, aside from strong medical advice from Catholic doctors and the NCBC, is a spiritual director to guide his life. To help him discern the proper vocation given the shifting ground of his physical health. To counsel him spiritually in order to help him make the right medical decisions now and in the future. I hope that the OP will take this advice. It is very important to have a spiritual director at the critical juncture in your young life when you discern a vocation.

 

[LROH]

Please take questions related to IVF to that thread…or start a new thread…its heartbreaking to see how this thread has derailed from OP intent.

He came here for church guidance from those knowledgeable about church doctrine.
We are not doctors and even if we were CAF policy doesn’t permit posting medical advise. We are not fortune tellers or gamblers set out to wager what his chances will be or how he SHOULD act by our standards of exception to Church doctrine…that is unacceptable.

NO canon law stands on it’s own…no CCC stands alone either…we are charged with imparting ACCURATE information in an objective non judgmental fashion respecting the free will God has given each of us, always encouraging the seeker to engage an appropriate spiritual advisor for serious issues. We are called to consider the seeker and where they are…that got lost along the way here.

It’s clear the church would likely not grant a dispensation for banking sperm.

Having walked this journey I will say…his docs are telling him about the tech and advanced success rates related to sperm banking…they aren’t telling him what he would be asking his future wife to do…they aren’t offering hope that his future wife will respect his choice…if he chooses to rely on faith for the journey ahead. Docs aren’t telling him that any woman who wouldn’t respect that isn’t worth having as a lifelong mate. They are simply telling him how they will medically treat him, offering meds to mitigate treatment side effects and yes ancillary sperm banking in the event his treatment should render him sterile.

Are we helping him by arguing or suggesting he might find comfort in betraying Church doctrine? He may want to hear someone say it’s okay, it isn’t. Suggesting that his desire for a child override the potential consequences of making the choice to sin is sinful in itself. Telling someone who now more than ever needs all his strength to persevere physically, emotionally and spiritually to walk away in sin? That makes no sense and flys against everything we know about encouraging OP to rely and trust his faith on his uncertain journey ahead.

We have no way of knowing how he will feel down the road if he isn’t sterile and the faces a new moral dilemma about how to handle that banked sperm…nor can we promise he will find a wife willing to condone prior sin…we don’t know if he would later be able to fully embrace a child if he possessed lingering feelings and thoughts related to sin in quest to obtain that dream.

we need to tell him it’s okay to be afraid and still trust that he won’t be alone on his journey. How grateful we are for modern medicine giving the little chance he is offered at fatherhood vs 100 years ago no chance of even the medical treatment that offers him the potential for all he dreams of to be revealed down the road a piece.

To OP…Please arrange local face to face support with a spiritual advisor, you’ll likely face many more questions on your journey. I wish you well and thank you for seeking Church guidance on the difficult moral dilemma. Hang on tight to the dream of fatherhood…it may carry you through a dark day where hope seems lost. Somehow I know nothing we say will bring you peace or consolation for the threatened loss you face…I’m sorry. Please keep us up to date on your progress so we can pray for you and all those who will be assisting you on the road ahead.

 

[LROH]

@BlueEyedLady

The OP asked for CHURCH teaching with respect to a moral dilemma he faces, please stick to offering accurate Catholic doctrine to someone facing not only a serious moral dilemma but rough patch ahead to get through his medical treatments.

I respect that as an Atheist we don’t see eye to eye on the Holy Trinity, I believe we do see eye to eye on human respect. If I went to an Atheist forum it would be inappropriate for me to offer advise or suggestions espousing my belief and faith in the Holy Trinity, I’d expect objections if I did so.

We have no way of knowing what the road ahead has in store for this young man. We might assume his prognosis is pretty good if docs are offering ancillary medical service of sperm banking. With that we can encourage him to stick to Church teaching and offer guidance of our wisdom and experience.

Planning ahead with potential mate by discussing medical realities at that time is not only appropriate but offers the hoped for marriage strength of communication, IMO this should be discerned over many months and before any wedding day party planning is put into action. Hedging bets in business or secular relationships might be beneficial, not so beneficial when it comes to compromising our Catholic spiritual beliefs.

All couples seeking Catholic marriage are expected to work with a spiritual director in a discernment process prior to marriage with the expectation that they will explore in depth the issues married couples face, this is also the time for couples to address any special circumstances existing that might affect their marriage.

 

[LROH]

Ever known someone in their 20’s going through chemo?

I suggest it because right now, he is not thinking clearly. That’s to be expected and completely normal. If he wants to be a faithful Catholic he is going to have to give up on the idea of fathering children should be be rendered permanently sterile. That reality will cause him a lot of pain, grief, and he should probably go to counseling for it. But right now, he was just told that he is fighting for his life. By banking sperm he can push the whole inner conflict aside and focus on getting better without dealing with those additional strong emotions. Afterwards, when he is alive and well and moves past this very traumatic experience, he can evaluate where to go from there. My bet is that when he is cancer free and no longer plagued with all of these worries and problems, he will be able to confidently and peacefully come to terms with his sterility (should it exist).

A big part of getting through something like this is learning to deal with only what you must at any given moment, and putting the rest aside for when you are in a much better mental and emotional state.

I was diagnosed with a deadly cancer at my first OBGYN visit at age 16. Six years of treatment and procedures till my all clear. Then the blow of infertility.

I suggest that OP is absolutely clear in his thinking by seeking Church teaching with respect to his moral dilemma created by a serious medical condition. Diagnosis might seem like the big trauma to someone who hasn’t been there, reality is …anxiety, worry, hope anticipation while waiting for treatment assessment pathology is actually more traumatic …especially the longer it goes on.

Being a faithful Catholic does not mean giving up on the dream of fatherhood. To this day feel grateful I wasn’t medically suitable for IVF/AF when I got the awful blow, I’m glad I wasn’t faced with the moral dilemma of the OP, I can’t imagine the burden it is adding to his already heavy load. The pain is tremendous, the loss horrific. It’s like a sucker punch after winning the lottery. Imagine our joy when my doc said congratulations you are pregnant.

Because I lived through that pain and loss after hanging on for six years and found peace and acceptance before the joy…I’ll be the first to say…hold on to your hopes and dreams, cherish them, nurture them and trust your faith…more will be revealed. Children aren’t a right or entitlement, they are a gift. We may make our list, even plan and pave the way to make it fiscally and materially possible yet we face needless heartache should we demand reality be anything other than what it is. The OP can no more demand guaranteed fulfillment of his wish to be a father than he can wish away his leukemia. Sad reality is that even banking sperm won’t guarantee him that wish.