What's going on when I pray the Rosary?

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sugarmouse

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This might be a really weird question, but anyhow.

I try to pray the Rosary every day. I’m really bad at focussing on it. My mind wanders everywhere, but I’m hoping it’ll get better. But I’m noticing something else happening now and it’s really getting to me now.

So I’ll tell myself, “Okay, it’s time for the Rosary” and try to sit down and say it. The first thing that happens is I don’t want to pray the Rosary. The best way to describe the feeling is that it’s this sickly feeling in my stomach, not quite nerves, but like when you’ve got to do something you don’t want to do. But I’ll eventually tell myself to just try my best and pray.

Then when I’m actually praying the Rosary and trying to focus on the mysteries, it’s like this feeling of claustrophobia takes over, like I’m locked in somehow (which is weird, because I don’t even get claustrophobia really in any other circumstance). Usually, it’s just very uncomfortable, but sometimes, the feeling is so intense that I’ll be sitting there and I can’t breathe properly. I’ll try to readjust the way I’m sitting, but it doesn’t work. I’ll try standing up, and it works a little, and I can get through the prayer, but it’s so uncomfortable that I won’t be able to focus.

Does this happen to anyone else? What’s going on? The only way I can get through the Rosary now is by putting on a YouTube video of the Rosary and reciting along with it, but honestly not really concentrating that much on meditating. If I try to do it alone, my mind wanders all over the place, and any time I really manage focus on the prayer the claustrophobia feeling comes back. It’s literally physically exhausting, and it’s making me more and more reluctant to pray the Rosary each day because I know it’s going to be so difficult.

What’s going on? I’ve found articles and things online for tips just about the distractions when praying the Rosary, but I’ve never seen advice for something like this before. I can’t even find articles about anxiety when praying in general (and I guess you’d describe this as a kind of anxiety), let alone with the Rosary in particular.

It’s getting to the point where it’s starting to be difficult to pray AT ALL, because I’m so worried I’ll get the same difficulties when reading the Bible and meditating on passages, or just praying aloud (and I am starting to get the same kinds of feelings when I pray then, too, just not as strong). I’m seriously starting to think there’s something sinister going on here.
 
… and if there is something sinister? Well, we do exactly what we should be doing with any distraction — we ignore it.

The thing about being bad at praying the Rosary is that everyone is bad at it outside of those who have an extremely disciplined and developed habit of prayer. As a matter of fact, all prayer is work, and all prayer is arduous, and all prayer is difficult. Prayer requires fortitude and strength.

But we shouldn’t allow this to frustrate us. Moreover, when we encounter a difficulty, we shouldn’t simply become obsessed with it. We should use it as an occasion to trust in God and to dispose ourselves to rely on the Holy Spirit to help guide our prayer, and to give us the graces to discipline our bodies enough to pray well.

Satan is always jealous of us and of every aspect of our lives, not the least of which includes the many graces God gives us. So what? Let him be jealous. Don’t give him the one thing he wants more than anything else: to be seen as something other than a pathetic and foolish being who squandered his ability to look, even for a second, on the glorious majesty and unfathomable beauty of the Most Holy Trinity. One of the demons biggest faults is the utter shame they exist in, or this fear of being perceived as lowly. Keep that in mind, toss them aside, and continue focusing on the thing they want to distract you from, knowing how jealous they are that you can even think of God or Mary without experiencing utter hatred and anger and pain.
 
Here’s the thing. OP. You’re sounding pretty normal in this. At least normal if you’ve only started praying the rosary. Like in the past year.

Because here’s the thing. You’re fighting your own brain here. I mean doing something repetitive. Something like the rosary. Makes the brain want to edit it out. Makes it want to skip all the known steps. Because it thinks you’re needing that edit. Because the brain only likes to look at new things. Things that are different. So that you notice new things. So you can ignore that constant ticking of the clock on the wall. Because your brain’s edited it out. So you can better concentrate on other things.

So here’s what I do. Here’s the fact of it. When I pray the rosary. I do a decade at a time. And I do it while I’m doing something else. This is so I can put my mind in a bit of a routine. Without my brain catching on. Without my brain recognizing that I’m all about ready to pray the rosary.

Then I do this other thing (usually cleaning or walking). And I can just lose myself in the thought of each decade. Now I know some people think of certain events in Jesus’ life while they pray each decade. I know that. And I mean I used to do it. But now I dedicate each decade to a special purpose. So I think of that thing. Or that person. Instead. It helps me feel connected to that. And it keeps me focused.

Yeah. I hate to say it. But without having that side action. That bit of doing something else while praying. My brain just wants to run away and hide. From the monotony. Because brains are funny. They find repetition boring.

Boy I could tell you a thing or two about working in a production line. Same feeling.

So yeah. Mix it up a bit. And you’ll be good. Good understands.

Then when you get to be a prayer warrior. And you can really know how to focus. You can do it a different way. Or something.

Good luck.

Peace sugarmouse.

-Trident
 
I have this problem off and on. Some wandering isn’t too bad, but I know what you mean when you say you can’t focus.

When that happens to me I pull out one of those scriptural rosary booklets (you can also find links on the internet for this), it has a meditation for each Hail Mary and really fleshes out the mysteries. Or you can find the basis for the mysteries (most of them) in the bible and read those before each decade. In any case, for myself, it helps to mix it up a bit.

Also when I feel like I just can’t, I think about Jesus. I think about how people turned their back on him and his body on the cross. I think about Mary, who as a young girl said yes to God and gave birth to our savior. I know its heavy handed but its the truth. How can I say no to them?

God Bless!
 
Pray a decade a day.
Work yourself up to more.
Don’t fret. It’s fine.
the prince of lies would love for you to give up the devotion.
It’s fine, really.
 
Yes, break it up into one or two decades at a time. Each decade takes 3-5 minutes. If you can pray out loud with someone else, so much the better. Do 1-2 first thing when you wake up. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and will have a concrete achievement to refer to later to inspire completion of your rosary.

I’m a kinaesthetic person, so I do my rosary in the morning while exercising. There is something about physical exertion that helps keep me focused. When I’m exhausted and short of breath, the default inclination is for my mind to wander to my present discomfort if I’m distracted. It’s an easy default, and it happens a lot. Sometimes I’ll catch myself slipping into mindless recitation for as much as a decade. I offer my failure up to God, go back, and redo whatever section I botched. It can be slow-going, but I know that the merit of the rosary is in the intention behind it.

Another technique that helps me is to use this Dominican guide, anchoring my contemplation to a visual summary of the decade I’m praying. Each decade in the guide has its own corresponding picture. Know which senses are most powerful for activating your imagination, and delve into the sensory dimension of the mysteries.

rosary-center.org/howto.htm#loaded

For example, when I’m contemplating the fourth sorrowful mystery (the carrying of the cross), I project myself mentally into the crowd to imagine I’m living the events first-hand. How does Jesus react as the cross is placed on the gaping wounds on his back? How must he and Mary feel when they meet! Mary has known since Jesus’ infancy that he would suffer; she is being crucified in her heart. What do they feel as their eyes meet? Jesus tastes his blood dripping in his mouth. Can he even hear the jeering of the crowd, having suffered so much blood loss, as he walks to his death? His skin is lacerated and torn. What is he thinking as he struggles with each step? Which of my sins is he carrying? How can I have done that to him?! What can I do to apologize and change my ways? Jesus falls, his mother agonizes at his suffering. How she wants to run to him, to comfort him. I want to run up to him, to carry the cross for him, to push the crowds back and take him to safety.

10 Hail Marys pass extremely quickly if you can project yourself into the mystery. I’ve spent entire decades just thinking about a single feature of a scene. Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are powerful memories. Lose yourself in them. Don’t feel you have to be formulaic or follow a set order each time.

Another trick I used early in my introduction to the rosary is to engage in modest physical mortification to elicit focus. Kneel instead of sitting on a plush sofa, ideally near a crucifix, tabernacle, or picture of Jesus. Take off a sweater or socks if you’re in a cool room so you get a bit chilly. If you eat before you pray, forego part of your meal in a mini-fast as an offering for focus and a heartfelt rosary. Perform an act of charity that requires personal inconvenience. You get the idea! 🙂

I will add that my best rosaries have been prayed after Mass or with my husband. There is something special about receiving Jesus in communion, and then offering a further sacrifice to him in thanksgiving. It’s so beautiful!
 
This is what I should have done when that sort of thing happened to me: pray through it.

Sure, you’ll be praying the Rosary badly, be totallly distracted, and also feeling these awful feelings, but just tell God that this may happen and you are sorry if it does, but the only One Who can change that is Him, so if He wants you to suffer through bad Rosaries, so be it, but you will pray them anyway.

You could also pray a St Michael the Archangel prayer too. And if you can, increase your Confessions–like if you’re goingnonce a month, try weekly or as close to that as possible for a while.

I didn’t really get properly back to the Rosary for a long time, and that was when I committed to praying a 54-day Rosary Novena *with others. *That was a great learning experience for me 🙂

Also, when you find you are distracted, just pull yourself gently back. Do not yell at yourself or get mad. BTDT!!!
 
What’s going on when you pray the Rosary?

Glorious things
Joyful things
Sorrowful things
And if you choose to Luminous things

Even if you don’t know they are going on.

But I would like to suggest getting a cd of the Mystery Sonatas by the composer Heinrich Ignaz Franz Biber. There’s a few versions out there by various performers. No words, just music…beautiful music. You provide the words.
 
As others have said, don’t over think it, just do it, find a way that woks for you.

But you are not alone in your anxiety and weird physical effects. I often shudder physically when i pray the rosary. I have no idea what it means, if anything, so I ignore it and hope for the best 🙂
 
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