The answers I found which resonate within me are not going to be found in the Catechism. But I know many devout Christians who think along the same lines. I describe myself as a devout follower of Jesus and only Him. As I say, I have no wish to lead anyone away from teachings they hold dear, I can only speak for what has worked for me. But I don’t state these things dogmatically either. As long as we are human we will always have to deal with mystery. So I approach them as simply questions.
What if, instead of life being a long and involved set of seemingly random events, what if we, as eternal beings, all helped plan it event by event? What if the victims of evil volunteered for the role, knowing that life in the hereafter would more than erase any and all bad memories? What if the soul departs the body long before the greatest suffering begins?
I can’t answer these questions, but neither do I discount them. The mere fact of their possibility makes the unpleasantness of this life more endurable. I do know that the harder lessons we need are learned most effectively through adversity. Origen believed in the eternal nature of our souls and their pre-existence, a teaching which has prevented his canonization.
I’ve always been a fringe member of the formal Christian community, and was a rebel in the cult I attended for 20+ years. This is likely why I am drawn to writers like Richard Rohr, John Shelby Spong, and Marcus Borg. I love the Catholic church and do not foresee ever departing. But I also like and admire these alternative thinkers, even as they are maligned and discredited by more conservative teachers. I like to be able to see all possibilities, accepting with my limited human intellect that all or none may contain credible elements. That’s for me to decide. After 61 years of age I am only just beginning to see how very little I really know. But I love the ongoing study and the search.
