With this thinking then it would appear as if NFP is also selfish as married people (where the purpose of marriage is to procreate according to the CC) make their own decision when to have children by monitoring their fertility cycles. They are not letting God decide what is best for them but are having sex outside of the fertile cycles to purposely avoid children and enjoying sex purely for the bonding and pleasure. I read on here all the time that NFP must only be used for grave reasons but I’m thinking that contradicts the trust we are to have in God being in control and providing. I guess I don’t really get how the intent of someone using NFP to avoid/space children is any different than the intent of someone using contraception. I am using the word “intent” purposely and not referring to the physicality of the act. Doesn’t what is in one’s heart matter?
Not meaning to be argumentative at all…just trying to understand the difference and how NFP can be acceptable and contraception is not…based on my arguments above.
This point of view has always tugged at me a little–shouldn’t we leave it up to God? But this is one way to think about it. Please correct me if it doesn’t make sense.
We don’t want to be hit by cars. We trust that God doesn’t want this either, but we also trust that He will take us when our time comes. Does that mean that we go out and walk in the streets, without caution, saying, “If God doesn’t want me to die, He’ll stop a car from hitting me.” I don’t think so. We use caution when crossing the street. Sometimes, we’ll mess up and cross at the wrong time. God may intervene, or at least save us from death, and we trust that He will if He wants to. Sometimes we cross at the right time, and you know? God could intervene then too, if He wanted, and cause something crazy to happen, which causes us to die. At the same time, we don’t carry around an AK-47 and flatten the tires of cars driving down the road when we want to cross.
I think we need to prayerfully discern how many kids God wants us to have and be open to the possibility that we are wrong about how many kids God wants us to have. While I know NFP works, it seems to me (I have read about NFP and observe informally; we start our NFP course in two and a half weeks) that it’s easy to misread some of the signs, and sometimes, our bodies (and our wills) don’t work exactly the way we plan or expect. God can use that! At the same time, cutting off the possibility of having [more] kids by using contraception is different from using NFP, because instead of letting our bodies work the way they’re supposed to work (letting cars drive down the street), we modify it, and in not-so-great ways, to suit our needs, ignoring those of others. The needs of others in the case of having kids is slightly harder to know, while it’s obvious that it is not a good idea to flatten other drivers’ tires–especially by shooting a gun. It’s not a perfect analogy, but I think it’s a potentially useful comparison.
My cousin was born 8 years after his siblings. My aunt and uncle didn’t seem exactly thrilled that they were having another kid when they found out they were. But he’s been a blessing and a joy to our family, and I strongly doubt my aunt and uncle regret having him at all. I think he was God’s will.
