What's the craziest Anti-Catholic whopper you've ever heard?

[Janine_Therese]

It is really interesting to note the selective memory/amnesia of all of us–but particularly of certain protestants that come from extremely austere, ‘bible only’ traditions/denominations. For example, the bible only people are begging their own questions’ premise. They say scripture only? The Catholic Church is the human author of the divinely inspired scriptures. That is to say, it was Saint Jerome who, as Pope, decided upon the sacred Canon that would constitute the Church’s Scripture. The reformers in Europe in Geneva and later England removed much of the bible–not just what is called the Apocrypha–but, Luther removed the book of James because it supported the Catholic doctrine of Faith and Works for salvation. He just lopped it right off! Of course, Lutherans do accept the book of James now…but another thing that has always caught my attention: The Calvinists utterly forbade any ornamentation in their churches. They tore apart historic churches of Europe and whitewashed over frescoes and holy Icons, and smashed Altars and ripped out Altar rails. Now…isn’t it interesting that, in my city where I live, The First Presbyterian Church (Calvin’s posterity) is an enormous, Gothic, Cruciform building with lavishly done stained glass, gargoyles, flying buttresses, and more than one huge pipe organ, with a nave the length of a football field! (Ususally with only a handful of very elderley worhipers it looks like on TV). Now, what would Calvin say? He would have a fit! Is that not hypocrossy? (BTW, a visiting Benedictine conducting a retreat at our parish said that we Catholics need to band together and take First Presbyterian’s building in the name of Holy Mother Church:thumbsup:!) Yep! They can study the incomplete, politically corect bible in a plain room with four walls! What a joke!~And this is supposed to be something to be taken seriously? Protestants! Just love em and pray for em

Lord Jesus, I love You in The Most Holy Sacrament of The Altar. Amen.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Pagans use pine cones in their art.
Catholics use pine cones in their art.
Therefore, Catholics are pagans.

There actually is a website devoted to this nonsense: cuttingedge.org/articles/RC125.htm

These dolts see pagan symbols in everything and take it all in shock and horror seriousness. Honestly, I wish the guy who owns that site lived nearby. I’m sure my friends would love to relocate from our current hang out and have our DnD/YGO/M:TG sessions to where he is. These games are more replete with the so-called occult imagery that scares the bejeezus out of him so much than any Catholic chapel.

Besides, it would double the fun wouldn’t you say? XD

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I know rite? I’m surprised these guys manage to get out of their houses. Oh well, at least I know there are some people out there who are more lonelier (and more hated) than I am.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

LOL! I suppose ignorance is bliss then in this case. XD
Too bad it’s not doing us any favors.

 

[Jim_Dandy]

I luv this thread!

:thumbsup:I also love Mark Shea’s blog, where readers contributed these (and many more) comments in a reverse take of this thread:

I love being Catholic because where else can a guy like me hope to grow up and be a saint and be worshipped by millions?

I like our plans to put cameras in everyone’s bedrooms.

I like knowing I really don’t believe what I say I believe.

I like how Catholic, crypto-paganism connects me with ancient Egyptian and Babylonian religious practices. I mean, talk about continuity!

www.mark-shea.com/spam.htm

:yup:

 

[Axion]

The funniest “pagan” allegation I got was when someone seriously told me that Bishops mitres look as they do because they are representations of Dagon - the Fish God!

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

:thumbsup:I also love Mark Shea’s blog, where readers contributed these (and many more) comments in a reverse take of this thread:

I love being Catholic because where else can a guy like me hope to grow up and be a saint and be worshipped by millions?

I like our plans to put cameras in everyone’s bedrooms.

I like knowing I really don’t believe what I say I believe.

I like how Catholic, crypto-paganism connects me with ancient Egyptian and Babylonian religious practices. I mean, talk about continuity!

www.mark-shea.com/spam.htm

:yup:

I wonder where I can add my own comment? I’d like to say how I “Love being Catholic because apparently, our priests practice sorcery. When do I get to learn Magic Missile?”

 

[minkymurph]

The North of Ireland must be the best place for anti-Catholic whoppers. As someone else said on this thread, I don’t know whether to be appalled or think it’s hilarious. I am a convert, I remember my grandmother whom I loved dearly but was a staunch Ulster Protestant saying Catholics were in everything, getting all the jobs and consequently ‘taking over’ because a guy called Sean, which is perceived to be a Catholic name in the north of Ireland, read the news on the BBC. Another woman my mother worked with said, when a lot of new houses were being built in Catholic areas, the reason they were called ‘mews,’ ‘gardens’ and ‘courts,’ instead of ‘streets,’ was to help Catholics and not Protestants get jobs. Talk about paranoid!

 

[JW10631]

I don’t have time to read the entire thread.

Here are a few:

“There are no saints in the Bible.” This was from an ex-Catholic fundamentalist who obviously knew no Latin, since the root of “saint” is *sanctus, *which means “holy”.

“Catholics can’t be Christians.” Stupidity on its face, right out of the Bob Jones playbook.

“Catholics worship bread.” Obviously, the Bible believing fundie who thought up that whopper never bothered to read St. John, chapter 6.

 

[UnityofTrinity]

Actually, it was these bloopers that led me to become a Catholic. The more they try to lie about the Church, the more it lead me to learn about the Catholic Church itself.

 

[catholic_teen]

"If you think you need works for salvation, then you don’t believe in Jesus.

Oh, you believe that Jesus existed, and did this and that. But you don’t BELIEVE IN JESUS to save you."

After looking through some saved emails this is my favorite

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I suppose it is quite weak. Perhaps a juiced up Scorching Ray would do eh?
I’d go for Eldritch Blast but that’s Warlock now (unless of course there’s a myth going around that the Jesuits are what we oh so occult and pagan Catholics use as a euphemism for Warlock what with them wearing black and all ).

In all honesty though, I find this attempt to connect our clergy to magic users and such to be ridiculous even on the fantasy level. Magic as far as I’ve seen in fiction is more for dealing damage and debilitating the opponent. Job classes with the words “Priest”, “Cleric”, “Acolyte”, and “Monk” on the other hand are generally geared towards healing, recovery, buffing, and the only offensive abilities they have is against demons and undead.

How distorted is the imagination of these paranoid fundamentalists to say they are all the same? :ehh:

 

[Farsight001]

The funniest “pagan” allegation I got was when someone seriously told me that Bishops mitres look as they do because they are representations of Dagon - the Fish God!

I always found that one particularly amusing because Dagon was man on top and fish on bottom like a mermaid. The image of a fish-topped Dagon comes from H.P. Lovecraft style fiction.

 

[Zooey]

I live in Oregon, and I’ve had two unrelated people tell me that Martin Luther decided to leave the Catholic Church when he was required to crawl up stairs covered with broken glass as a penance. I had quite an argument with one of them. I was horrified by the accusation, and my friend didn’t see why I should be. I’ve Googled “Martin Luther broken glass” at several different times over several years, and have never found any reference to this supposed incident. This must be a local fabrication that’s been spread because it sounds so right to those who hear it. It really ticks me off.

Ireland is Ireland!! And God bless her now & always.

 

[Jim_Dandy]

Pagans use pine cones in their art.
Catholics use pine cones in their art.
Therefore, Catholics are pagans.

There actually is a website devoted to this nonsense: cuttingedge.org/articles/RC125.htm

Found this at the cuttingedge.org website posted by Kay Cee:

-quote-

Did you know that the Roman Catholic practice of making the Sign of the Cross originated in Babylon as people paid homage to their Messiah, Tammuz, who “died for the good of his people”. People would constantly publicly demonstrate their love and adoration for Tammuz by making the sign of the “T”, or “t”. Isn’t this a clever move by Satan? He knew that Jesus Christ would die on a cross that could be thought of as a “t”. Therefore, Satan was able to transfer the sign of the “t” for Tammuz directly into the Roman Catholic Church, as people thought they making the sign of the Christian cross. Tammuz was the Babylonian counterfeit of Jesus Christ.

• end quote -

 

[minkymurph]

It is off the thread but I use the term ‘the North of Ireland’ in the same way people talk about the West/East/South (meaning Cork region) of Ireland. Sometimes I use the term ‘the north-east corner.’

I believe Craig, the first Prime minister, stated something to the effect that ‘no Protestant child would be interferred with by any socialist, atheist, communist or Roman Catholic’ in relation to education.

I may not have got the statement completely right but I’m sure you get the jist.

 

[minkymurph]

Found this at the cuttingedge.org website posted by Kay Cee:

-quote-

Did you know that the Roman Catholic practice of making the Sign of the Cross originated in Babylon as people paid homage to their Messiah, Tammuz, who “died for the good of his people”. People would constantly publicly demonstrate their love and adoration for Tammuz by making the sign of the “T”, or “t”. Isn’t this a clever move by Satan? He knew that Jesus Christ would die on a cross that could be thought of as a “t”. Therefore, Satan was able to transfer the sign of the “t” for Tammuz directly into the Roman Catholic Church, as people thought they making the sign of the Christian cross. Tammuz was the Babylonian counterfeit of Jesus Christ.

• end quote -

Another good one I heard in the JW’s is, people who pray to the Trinity are praying to Satan and it is Satan who answers their prayers. Satan is therefore doing an awful lot of good in the world while God is apparently ignoring prayers addressed to the Holy Trinity.

I wonder, if I prayed to Satan to win the lottery what would happen?

 

[johnpaul1979]

one of the best i have heard is that the rcc is responsible for the deaths of millions of christians,i saw one website state that the number was 50 million then i saw another that said it was closer to 100 million , and the best was one that said it was 500 MILLION! (natuarally it was protestants of course) i have actually debated some of them and of course they always bring up the crusades and the inquisition with a smug thinking that they have game set and match,but anyone that knows their history knows that the crusades were an answer to muslim aggression after they invaded 2 thirds of christindom,and the inquisition is most certinaly not responsible for MILLIONS of deaths (more like around 5-6 thousand)after i disarm them of these arguements i like to point out the atrocities that protestants are responsible for, king hendry for one threatened all of england with death if they dident swear an oath to him and actually was responsible for the deaths of many,many, catholics.john calvin (the protestant hero)dident hesitate in calling for the tourture and burning of anyone who would not believe his heritical teachings then there is the salem witch trails,of course the list could go on and on…but some how protestants think they know roman catholic history while at the same time being competely oblivious to their own

 

[jmcrae]

I suppose I can’t really talk about misconceptions. On my first visit to Canada, I responsibly placed my leftovers and rubbish from a McDonalds in a rubbish bin. A few days later my aunt, whom I was staying with, informed me it was a mail box.

Oops!

The big flag and “Canada Post” label didn’t give it away?

 

[JustaServant]

The funniest “pagan” allegation I got was when someone seriously told me that Bishops mitres look as they do because they are representations of Dagon - the Fish God!

I remember that one.
But ahhh…why does the Pope have a fish on his head?
Where’s Monty Python when you need it?