What's wrong with me?

[LogisticsBranch]

Do you experience joy/love in other areas of your life besides religion? When you are with other people, for example…or when taking part in other activities?

A little off topic here for me, but I must mention that priests that my husband and I personally know do like to golf with my husband and watch football and tennis on the television after a good homemade meal that I have prepared for them at our home. I do think exercise is very important for men and women. I like to play tennis and hike with my husband then there is bowling and going to the country club to exercise. We enjoy living life and so do priests.

 

[guanophore]

This may be true for some. But the OP is saying he/she feels no joy or love and puts it in a religion context. I’m wondering if he/she feels happy in other areas or if the lack of love/joy is in every area.

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It is a worthy question. I just meant to point out that priests do not cease to be priests if they go play golf, and in the same way, we are to carry our Christ everywhere we go.

 

[JoeFreedom]

This answer is so beautiful. I hope the OP takes it to heart because there is so much truth in it. Truth that you put into words that I “know” but have never read before. Thank you just for the way you said it…

Yes, I did. I haven’t been on in a while, since I’ve just been so consumed at work and at home with everyday things. I agree, with Fred’s response. I did grow up in a rigged family and yes, did have issues growing up. I did stint my emotions, and it may be on top of “I am me and that’s just the way I am”, so I don’t get to automatically pass “go” as the Monopoly game says, and that I must “work” at my spiritual life, pray, study, walk with God… cultivate my relationship… and I must not be there. It really has been all about eradicating sin, since for so long I was in a state of mortal sin. No longer, but I still struggle with sins effects, so that’s where I’m at now. I’ve chosen to pray every morning during Lent. We pray as a family at night, but I need time with myself I think with God, with Jesus… I guess that’s where I’m at. Not that family prayer isn’t good, I just need that time alone.

Thanks to Fred and the other posters here.

 

[JoeFreedom]

Do you experience joy/love in other areas of your life besides religion? When you are with other people, for example…or when taking part in other activities?

.

Not really, I’m just not an emotional person. To be quite honest, I “joking” tell people that if the building we all work in explodes and bursts into flames, I’ll be the guy who calmly coordinates people out of the building. I just don’t get emotional over much. I’m the steady level-headed guy people love to hate until all heck breaks loose…

 

[guanophore]

I must “work” at my spiritual life, pray, study, walk with God… cultivate my relationship… and I must not be there. It really has been all about eradicating sin, since for so long I was in a state of mortal sin. No longer, but I still struggle with sins effects, so that’s where I’m at now. I’ve chosen to pray every morning during Lent. We pray as a family at night, but I need time with myself I think with God, with Jesus… I guess that’s where I’m at. Not that family prayer isn’t good, I just need that time alone.

Thanks to Fred and the other posters here.

This really resonates with me, Joe. We all have to work at our spiritual life, and sometimes it is not all happy, happy, joy, joy. It takes years sometimes to recover from developing in a family that does not have healthy emotional expression.

It also takes a long time to reverse the effects of years living in a state of mortal sin. But you are right on, it is the small daily disciplines of prayer and obedience that, when we practice them one moment at a time, eventually turn the soul back to the path of peace and joy that is our birthright.

I am glad you are provoked by not experiencing your birthright, and I pray that the desire for it will keep you seeking until you find it.

 

[guanophore]

Surely.
I don’t think anyone ceases to be who they are…if they go play golf, right?

The OP talks about being angry at God…and being angry at people when they get all joyful when talking about Jesus and God.

I wonder if the OP, as you say, carries this with them…“everywhere they go.”

Nicely put.

 

[ThisOne]

Yes, I did. I haven’t been on in a while, since I’ve just been so consumed at work and at home with everyday things. I agree, with Fred’s response. I did grow up in a rigged family and yes, did have issues growing up. I did stint my emotions, and it may be on top of “I am me and that’s just the way I am”, so I don’t get to automatically pass “go” as the Monopoly game says, and that I must “work” at my spiritual life, pray, study, walk with God… cultivate my relationship… and I must not be there. It really has been all about eradicating sin, since for so long I was in a state of mortal sin. No longer, but I still struggle with sins effects, so that’s where I’m at now. I’ve chosen to pray every morning during Lent. We pray as a family at night, but I need time with myself I think with God, with Jesus… I guess that’s where I’m at. Not that family prayer isn’t good, I just need that time alone.

Thanks to Fred and the other posters here.

How about giving yourself 30 minutes each evening for prayer in a location in which you will not be disturbed? If it takes going into a room and putting a sign up that says, “Dad’s Prayer Time,” if I were you, I would try it. Maybe pray a Psalm, or just sit with God receptively in silence, waiting for Him.