What's wrong with the phrase "I don't drink"?

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I have a little bit of a problem disguising a non-alcoholic beverage as an alcoholic one. It seems chicken-hearted.
 
Cat said:
I have a little bit of a problem disguising a non-alcoholic beverage as an alcoholic one. It seems chicken-hearted.
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What, like painting a picture frame gold instead of actually gilding it with gold leaf?

A lemon slice isn’t disguising anything anyway - many restaurants will give you a lemon wedge in your glass of mineral water/soda regardless 🤷 Just a side effect that it looks more like an alkyholic drink when you do it.

Sometimes you’ve got to pick your battles.
 
Arclight said:
water in a highball glass looks like a tom collins, coke in a double old fashioned glass looks like a rum and coke. Are you “advertising” your dislike of alcohol for some reason? It sound like you’re picking a fight. I’ve been on the cocktail circuit and I’d don’t see the kind of shunning you’re talking about.
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The OP shouldn’t have to make it look like an alcholic beverage. If the OP doesn’t drink, then people should leave it at that. How is the OP picking a fight? Your personal experience of not seeing the kind of shunning the OP is talking about does not mean it doesn’t exist. The OP said most of it was coming from family.
 
I can relate to this. I don’t drink and I don’t like to be around people who are drinking to excess. I don’t mean people who pace themselves and drink sensibly, but those who slam it down and then get:
  1. maudlin
  2. mean
  3. loud
  4. sick
To those who force drinks on those of us who don’t - guys and gals, we are having fun. Really.
 
If I attend a function where alcohol is served, I immediately get a drink glass filled with a few ice cubes and Coke and sip it just as if it contained alcohol. Nobody bothers me, then. No big deal to me.
 
There’s no reason why they should be pressuring you to drink. I would seriously look them in the eye and say, “tell you what, I’ll drink one glass if you will not drink the whole night/day.”

I’m an alcoholic. It’s easy for me because everyone knows what I’ve gone through to be sober, one day at a time. I do get the opposite reaction from my husband’s family. They put me at the kid’s table again so that I am not near their bottles of wine. :rolleyes:

If they want you to drink, and they’re not willing NOT to drink… the problem lies with their own drinking habits. If they’re getting drunk themselves, they may not want someone who is completely sober around them because they might not want a realistic account of what they actually did/said while drunk.

Drinking alcohol is obviously not a big problem for you. I would guess it is a big problem for those who are pressuring you. Get a list of meetings in their area and hand them out to them as they are pressuring you…

in Christ
Steph
 
Lee_M said:
The OP shouldn’t have to make it look like an alcholic beverage. If the OP doesn’t drink, then people should leave it at that. How is the OP picking a fight? Your personal experience of not seeing the kind of shunning the OP is talking about does not mean it doesn’t exist. The OP said most of it was coming from family.
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Ya know Lee, that is my thought exaclty. I was about to post this same thing when I read yours.

I’m not flaunting the fact that I don’t drink, I don’t have a holier than thou attitude about it, I simply don’t like it. I never make a big production about it at all. I am not picking a fight at all. I just make a simple statement, “I don’t drink”. And like I said before it’s mostly my family who offers it to me. They know I don’t drink and they offer it anyway. That’s why I usually say “I don’t drink” instead of “no thank you”. Like I said before, it’s more definitive.

That being said, why should I pretend to drink? I agree with you, I shouldn’t have to pretend. Why should I pretend to be or do something I’m not for sake of appearances? It’s not my style. I’m not one to stand out in the crowd but at the same time I’m not going to pretend to do sometihng because “everybody else is doing it”. I have a strong back and can stand up for myself.
 
noclevername said:
…I’m not flaunting the fact that I don’t drink, I don’t have a holier than thou attitude about it, I simply don’t like it. I never make a big production about it at all. I am not picking a fight at all. I just make a simple statement, “I don’t drink”. And like I said before it’s mostly my family who offers it to me. They know I don’t drink and they offer it anyway. That’s why I usually say “I don’t drink” instead of “no thank you”. Like I said before, it’s more definitive.

That being said, why should I pretend to drink? I agree with you, I shouldn’t have to pretend. Why should I pretend to be or do something I’m not for sake of appearances? It’s not my style. I’m not one to stand out in the crowd but at the same time I’m not going to pretend to do sometihng because “everybody else is doing it”. I have a strong back and can stand up for myself.
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Maybe you should go back to saying, “No thank you.” It’s much more polite. 🙂 Just as it is polite of them to offer you something to drink, even if you don’t like the beverage choices they offer. It’s also rude to tell a hostess that you don’t like what they are serving.

There’s a time to fast and a time to celebrate. If you only drink plain water at parties and celebrations, it looks like you are fasting. You may put people off and make them feel uncomfortable around you without realizing it.

Okay, maybe all your friends and family are just a bunch of slobbering drunks, but I’m giving your aquaintences more credit than that, especially since you attend their functions.

I wrote earlier about limes and lemons in your glass–they make a plain drink more festive. I didn’t suggest you disguise a non-alcoholic drink look alcoholic. No. I suggested you drink something non-alcoholic that is more fitting than only plain water at parties.

Try arriving with a bottle of sprarking juice or your favorite soda, just as many guest bring a bottle of wine or beer. I bet if you asked for the drink you brought, (saying please and thank you with a smile, of course) they’d serve it to you without any funny looks–and other people would probably enjoy having some non-alcoholic beverage choices too!
 
As one of those who abused the privledge so frightfully that I had it revoked, most of my comebacks are too sarcastic for polite company.

From the rather tame: “I’m allergic - I break out in handcuffs”

“Do you have enough? - No, I mean for bail”

“Unless you plan on remodeling, this place is much too nice to let me drink here”

They start to get R-rated after that
 
There’s a time to fast and a time to celebrate. If you only drink plain water at parties and celebrations, it looks like you are fasting. You may put people off and make them feel uncomfortable around you without realizing it.
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So what? As more than one poster has suggested, if it makes them uncomfortable, then *they *have a problem, not me. It is not my job to make them comfortable by pretending to drink. I am not being a wet blanket.

Of course, if you think I stand there with my glass of water, looking around frowning at anyone who has an alcoholic beverage, wearing a “holier than thou” halo… but I don’t.

However, 999 times out of a hundred, “No, thanks, I don’t drink” (said with a smile) works just fine. The rest of the time, “I’m allergic to it” usually works. If they ask how I react, I tell them, “it makes me throw up,” which usually ends it. (And it’s all true!) If not - well, see Miss Manners on reacting to rude people.

However, the OP’s problem is family gatherings. Here’s a suggestion: say with a caring smile: “Hon, if it makes you so uncomfortable that I don’t drink, why don’t you go talk to so-and-so, who is drinking?”

God bless us all,

Ruthie
 
My DH and I dont drink either. Usually I just say no thank you but DH sais “I dont drink.” When we moved into our neighborhood, one neighbor invited us to a party and after my husband said he doesnt drink he didnt invite us to any partys anymore:shrug: . Another time while they were talking I mentioned I was leaving to go out with friends he asked me if I was going to party (like he was trying to figure out if I drank or not) I just smiled at him:D .
Its wierd how people are bothered by it. I go to Bunco night with some moms and I dont think anyone ever noticed I dont drink, and never have I seen one of the other moms drunk.
 
Ruthie said:
So what? As more than one poster has suggested, if it makes them uncomfortable, then *they *have a problem, not me. It is not my job to make them comfortable by pretending to drink. I am not being a wet blanket…
However, 999 times out of a hundred, “No, thanks, I don’t drink” (said with a smile) works just fine. …
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First of all, if you drink water, you drink. Water is a beverage and the process of swallowing liquids is called “drinking.”

Secondly, adding a slice of lime to a glass of water does not mean the person is pretending to drink alcohol–it means they have added a slice of lime to a glass of water, providing green color and citrus taste, which some of us enjoy.

Thirdly, the original poster asked this thread question because, I assume, he wanted an answer. His posts lead me to believe that he is somehow putting people off–but (based on my own experience when I decline alcohol)–I don’t think it is simply because of the lack of alcohol in his beverage. You say with a smile, “No thanks, I don’t drink.” He says, “I don’t drink.” There’s a difference.

Lastly, the poster admitted earlier that he enjoys certain carbonated beverages. There’s nothing wrong with drinking water, but if the original poster is having a difficult time mixing in with people, he might do well to bring some of his favorite non-alcoholic beverages to the parties he attends and share them. That would be polite and sociable. Water’s certainly fine–and I often drink it at parties too-- but since he asked for advice, and he appears to be having some difficulties in social settings, I offered some friendly suggestions.
 
I didn’t read all the posts in this thread. But I just wanted to add that I’m one of those guys that doesn’t drink.

I think a lot of it is because of people that get drunk. In high school a lot of my grade would party and get drunk, and do stupid things and stuff. I guess I don’t want to be associated with those types of people so I stay away from it. I don’t need it and am good with not drinking.
 
I don’t drink either, unless I enjoy the taste of the drink (usually because it comes with copious amounts of sugar). In that case, I’ll just have one. I don’t feel like I should have to hide the fact that I don’t drink; its just not something I like to do. I have a couple theories about why people get so offended about others’ personal habits in this regard:
  1. People are defensive about their alcohol consumption. Saying you don’t drink is like saying you disapprove of them, even if you make sure to insist it is because you don’t personally like the taste/feeling. This probably relates to the fact that alcohol is a mind altering drug that is sometimes utilized by the depressed to avoid their problems, or by the insecure to alter their personalities. Notice I said SOMETIMES. I’m not judging anyone who drinks, but obviously some people who do are avoiding their issues, more so than just drinking to have a little fun.
  2. Drinking is largely expected at social gatherings. Drinking on holidays is just something my family does. It’s expected. It’s something like, if you’re at a ski hill, why aren’t you skiing? If you’re at this party/family get-together, why aren’t you drinking? But they’re forgetting that the real main point of the gathering is to spend time together.
 
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