When a memory tries to be a friend

[traillius]

I used to know a specific person, who is female. To make a long story short, I have for years been content with her being a bittersweet memory. Now she has found me on facebook. I am not sure what to do. Nothing romantic will happen, and I wouldn’t want to if she tried, not that she would. The time for that possibility, if there ever was such a time, has long since passed. Any advice on what I should do?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I used to know a specific person, who is female. To make a long story short, I have for years been content with her being a bittersweet memory. Now she has found me on facebook. I am not sure what to do. Nothing romantic will happen, and I wouldn’t want to if she tried, not that she would. The time for that possibility, if there ever was such a time, has long since passed. Any advice on what I should do?

Are you married?

 

[traillius]

yes.

 

[traillius]

I decided to hide from and block this person. If she tries to message me, I will delete any message. That seems to be the only way to work this.

 

[traillius]

I hope she goes back to being only a memory, which is the way its meant to be.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

yes.

I would avoid someone that drudges up these type of feelings, especially if you are married. It sounds like you know what to do. But I know what you mean. It digs up memories that you probably do and don’t want to have right now.

Hug your wife, and leave the memories buried.

 

[traillius]

I would avoid someone that drudges up these type of feelings, especially if you are married. It sounds like you know what to do. But I know what you mean. It digs up memories that you probably do and don’t want to have right now.

Hug your wife, and leave the memories buried.

I will do that, and I hope the memory(the person…) lets it be.

 

[traillius]

some memories are better off staying that way, lest wounds healing might be opened again. Now I have to go through the process again.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

I’v had a similar situation… to see or now to see,that is the question…

can be dangerous either way… best i think is to see her… and if you feel positive vibes…

then be an adult and put a bucket of cold water on it… because it can destroy a good thing

you already have… tell her you can’t afford to be friends because your wife is possessive

and gets jealous … and you have to much at stake… and your wife will find out…

even if it is an innocent friendship…

 

[traillius]

I don’t think it would be possible for me to know this person and not feel love for her. There was never a time from the day we met to the day I said goodbye the first time that I did not love her.

 

[Stillsosola]

From experience its best not to be friends on facebook with old flames, it just opens the door to tempting thoughts, not necessarily deeds. But emotional affairs are easy to fall into. Don’t be friends with her.

 

[Irishmom2]

I used to know a specific person, who is female. To make a long story short, I have for years been content with her being a bittersweet memory. Now she has found me on facebook. I am not sure what to do. Nothing romantic will happen, and I wouldn’t want to if she tried, not that she would. The time for that possibility, if there ever was such a time, has long since passed. Any advice on what I should do?

What should you do? Nothing. You don’t need to friend her, talk to her or acknowledge her in any way. The past is the past. Your wife is what matters now.

 

[pianistclare]

What should you do? Nothing. You don’t need to friend her, talk to her or acknowledge her in any way. The past is the past. Your wife is what matters now.

Yes, this was my first thought as well. Don’t DO anything.
if you’re looking for permission to strike up that match, you won’t get it from me…
Unless you want to set fire to a good life and make a terrible mistake…
shut it down.
Look away.
Stay focused.
Remember your vows.

 

[Irishmom2]

Yes, this was my first thought as well. Don’t DO anything.
if you’re looking for permission to strike up that match, you won’t get it from me…
Unless you want to set fire to a good life and make a terrible mistake…
shut it down.
Look away.
Stay focused.
Remember your vows.

 

[Joy2day]

I don’t think it would be possible for me to know this person and not feel love for her. There was never a time from the day we met to the day I said goodbye the first time that I did not love her.

How can u love her now that you have your wife? Surely the love with your wife is stronger & better than anything you had with her.
Those ‘love’ feelings may not rekindle as you.thought. Its difficult with past relationships especially if it is bittersweet. There is always the temptation to improve on the past via the present - ie. & heal the old hurt therefore. Sometimes hurts are caused unintentionally & the person stays forever as a painful memory unless the relationship is healed in some way. But if your stomach cannot face it, even though intellectually you would like to try -.maybe better off just to keep distance. Its a shame when thats the best one can do.

 

[traillius]

update:
the person in question has now been restored to bittersweet memory status. I have to heal a little from the encounter, but at least I can work on my marriage again.

 

[pianistclare]

update:
the person in question has now been restored to bittersweet memory status. I have to heal a little from the encounter, but at least I can work on my marriage again.

Good to hear this. May you find peace and true happiness with your wife.

 

[Demetra2]

You did the right thing in avoiding this “memory”. I have a friend whose husband was contacted by an old flame on face book and the result was a break up of the marriage and family. Not worth it.

 

[njlisa]

Block her.

 

[LoveJesus13]

From experience its best not to be friends on facebook with old flames, it just opens the door to tempting thoughts, not necessarily deeds. But emotional affairs are easy to fall into. Don’t be friends with her.

Perfectly put. It will lead to un Godly things so best to leave the past IN the past. There’s no need for you to communicate with her. Say a prayer for her and move on with your life and your wife. God bless!