When a priest doesn't grant absolution

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MadetoLove

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I’ll try and keep it brief. I was denied absolution in confession a few days ago because the priest didn’t believe I was going to do all that I can to avoid sin in the future. I already had a plan before going to confession in regards to avoiding the near occasion of sin, but I think the priest sensed that I wasn’t very sure of myself and so consequently was concerned.

He gave me advice and said that he would like me to return to him on Saturday, if I am ready, to let him know what has transpired and of course, make an honest confession.

So my question is, in the name of prudence and for the sake of my soul, do you think I should wait until Saturday to go to confession again? Or if I am ready to confess with a contrite heart before then, would it be okay to see another priest for confession?

Thank you 🙂
 
I don’t think bouncing around to different priests to get the answer/absolution you’re seeking is the way to go.

What would you do if the second one said the same as the first? Would you go to a 3rd, or 4th?

Personally, I would stay with the same priest you started off with. He’s familiar with the entire situation, where a different one wouldn’t be.

Unfortunately, confession is about “taking our lumps”, so to speak.
 
If you can make an appointment to return to the same priest sooner, that might be preferable.

If some emergency necessitates seeing another priest, make sure to tell him the reason why your sin wasn’t absolved and explain the changes you have been making.
 
I humbly suggest to try your best and follow his advise/suggestions.

Maybe both of you know each other (and can better assist you), or you’ve confessed with him before (and is helping you to look at “it” from a different angle so to speak). Either case, he is a representative of God, he heard your confession and in a way, perhaps, his ‘homework’ to you is the beginning of the end to overcome this stumble (especially if it is a repetitive sin). I remember once in confession, the priest questionned me about my contrition. At first, it was unexpected, then I started reflecting…even though it was not face to face, perhaps he knew I would repeatedly stumble. Although it might have felt like he ‘was throwing the first stone’, I looked at his intention and the good it can come about.
Perhaps on Saturday, you can also share your thoughts and how you felt coming out of confession without the absolution. It might help you hear his reasoning, and liberate yourself from any negative feelings this may have caused.

Above all, God sees your intention to confess. Trust in God. Offer this delay to Him and see what happens.
 
Stay with the first priest.

If you don’t go back, what will he think? What if you see him again later?

He is giving you time to think, and you can use the extra time to test your resolve.

You can do it with God’s grace.

Gem
 
MadetoLove said:
I’ll try and keep it brief. I was denied absolution in confession a few days ago because the priest didn’t believe I was going to do all that I can to avoid sin in the future. I already had a plan before going to confession in regards to avoiding the near occasion of sin, but I think the priest sensed that I wasn’t very sure of myself and so consequently was concerned.

He gave me advice and said that he would like me to return to him on Saturday, if I am ready, to let him know what has transpired and of course, make an honest confession.

So my question is, in the name of prudence and for the sake of my soul, do you think I should wait until Saturday to go to confession again? Or if I am ready to confess with a contrite heart before then, would it be okay to see another priest for confession?

Thank you 🙂
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I would stick with this priest, he sounds like he genuinely cares about your soul, and that’s not always easy to find, i rarely hear of people being denied absolution, when really it should happen alot more…and the reason i say that is, people use to get denied absolution more, and for good reason…but now, even though things have become worse in regards to sin and many Catholics not being well educated or devout, absolution is given very willy nilly.

my advice is, pray and meditate on this until Saturday, make a good examination of conscience every day at noon and before bed…and read some lives or writings of the saints…and maybe that will help to put things into better perspective.

alright, hope this helps, take care.
 
MadetoLove said:
I’ll try and keep it brief. I was denied absolution in confession a few days ago because the priest didn’t believe I was going to do all that I can to avoid sin in the future. I already had a plan before going to confession in regards to avoiding the near occasion of sin, but I think the priest sensed that I wasn’t very sure of myself and so consequently was concerned.

He gave me advice and said that he would like me to return to him on Saturday, if I am ready, to let him know what has transpired and of course, make an honest confession.

So my question is, in the name of prudence and for the sake of my soul, do you think I should wait until Saturday to go to confession again? Or if I am ready to confess with a contrite heart before then, would it be okay to see another priest for confession?

Thank you 🙂
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This must have been a strange confession indeed as priests almost never deny absolution. The only cases where it happens regularly I would imagine would be in the case of someone who didn’t have their last marriage annulled and are in another state sanctioned marriage without church blessing.

This just sounds strange. Thousands and thousands of folks repeatedly committ the same sins and priests forgive them because the priest is in the person of Christ.

Priests don’t really deny absolution. . . . .
 
ringil said:
This must have been a strange confession indeed as priests almost never deny absolution. The only cases where it happens regularly I would imagine would be in the case of someone who didn’t have their last marriage annulled and are in another state sanctioned marriage without church blessing.

This just sounds strange. Thousands and thousands of folks repeatedly committ the same sins and priests forgive them because the priest is in the person of Christ.

Priests don’t really deny absolution. . . . .
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Depends what it is. The OP hasn’t elaborated, which is his right, but it is difficult to judge whether the priest was right by denying absolution without knowing all the circumstances so its best not to speculate so we don’t put pressure on the OP.
 
ringil said:
This must have been a strange confession indeed as priests almost never deny absolution. The only cases where it happens regularly I would imagine would be in the case of someone who didn’t have their last marriage annulled and are in another state sanctioned marriage without church blessing.

This just sounds strange. Thousands and thousands of folks repeatedly committ the same sins and priests forgive them because the priest is in the person of Christ.

Priests don’t really deny absolution. . . . .
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That’s not correct. I know people who have gone to confess they are living with someone in a sexual relationship without being married and during confession they admitted to the priest they would continue to do so. No real repentance there. In such a case the priest cannot give absolution.
 
ringil said:
This must have been a strange confession indeed as priests almost never deny absolution. The only cases where it happens regularly I would imagine would be in the case of someone who didn’t have their last marriage annulled and are in another state sanctioned marriage without church blessing.

This just sounds strange. Thousands and thousands of folks repeatedly committ the same sins and priests forgive them because the priest is in the person of Christ.

Priests don’t really deny absolution. . . . .
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nowadays priests don’t usually deny absolution, but they should…however, they are not the ones forgiving, but only absolving, Christ is the only one who forgives.
priests are trained in the sacrament of penance for this very reason, because it is very very important that they make a good judgment, for the sake of the penitents soul, whether or not someone is absolved depends on several things, and the reason it is important is because the purpose of confession is, among other things, to grow in holiness and overcome sin, confession gives the necessary graces needed to overcome our sins, but if someone is coming to confession again and again for years with the same sins…well, somethings wrong here…it means the person is not sincerely trying to amend their life, and confession has likely become just a routine or habit…in which case the priest, who doesn’t simply absolve you but also has charge over your soul, must do something about it, or he stands guilty himself.

we do not really deserve forgiveness or even the sacrament of penance, God gives us those things freely out of His love for us, and the priest really has a very great responsibility as a confessor, but if most priests are not denying absolution where they should, or are not giving advice, which we know they’re not…then they’re not doing their job…because aside from the mass, confession is the bulk of a priests vocation, and it is really where he is most needed because that is where he is a shepherd to his flock…
 
EmeraldWings said:
nowadays priests don’t usually deny absolution, but they should…however, they are not the ones forgiving, but only absolving, Christ is the only one who forgives.
priests are trained in the sacrament of penance for this very reason, because it is very very important that they make a good judgment, for the sake of the penitents soul, whether or not someone is absolved depends on several things, and the reason it is important is because the purpose of confession is, among other things, to grow in holiness and overcome sin, confession gives the necessary graces needed to overcome our sins, but if someone is coming to confession again and again for years with the same sins…well, somethings wrong here…it means the person is not sincerely trying to amend their life, and confession has likely become just a routine or habit…in which case the priest, who doesn’t simply absolve you but also has charge over your soul, must do something about it, or he stands guilty himself.

we do not really deserve forgiveness or even the sacrament of penance, God gives us those things freely out of His love for us, and the priest really has a very great responsibility as a confessor, but if most priests are not denying absolution where they should, or are not giving advice, which we know they’re not…then they’re not doing their job…because aside from the mass, confession is the bulk of a priests vocation, and it is really where he is most needed because that is where he is a shepherd to his flock…
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I really appreciate what you said here 🙂
This is the OP by the way, and it looks like everyone agrees that I should wait until Saturday. I’m pretty sure at this point that God thinks so too.

This priest made the right decision. Even if someone doesn’t think he should have refused absolution, the situation bore fruit. I had become ungrateful and lukewarm toward the sacrament of reconciliation so I needed to get a wake up call. The priest mentioned that confession is not “like a car wash where, after you get dirty, you can just go through the wash and be clean again.” And also, it’s like you said EmeraldWings, if someone keeps commiting the same sins over and over (like I was) then deep down they don’t really want to change. It was hard for me to admit this to myself, I’ve been using fear as an excuse, but I finally opened up to God just enough so that He could help me see properly.

I don’t know, just thought I’d share this. I’m much more at peace than I was before.
 
follow whatever direction the first priest gave you to the letter
 
MadetoLove said:
I really appreciate what you said here 🙂
This is the OP by the way, and it looks like everyone agrees that I should wait until Saturday. I’m pretty sure at this point that God thinks so too.

This priest made the right decision. Even if someone doesn’t think he should have refused absolution, the situation bore fruit. I had become ungrateful and lukewarm toward the sacrament of reconciliation so I needed to get a wake up call. The priest mentioned that confession is not “like a car wash where, after you get dirty, you can just go through the wash and be clean again.” And also, it’s like you said EmeraldWings, if someone keeps commiting the same sins over and over (like I was) then deep down they don’t really want to change. It was hard for me to admit this to myself, I’ve been using fear as an excuse, but I finally opened up to God just enough so that He could help me see properly.

I don’t know, just thought I’d share this. I’m much more at peace than I was before.
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I really appreciate that you shared this. It sounds like you have a great confessor. Stay with him.
 
:bible1:
If we confess our sins,
he is faithful and just,
to forgive us our sins,
and to cleanse us from all iniquity.
- 1 John 1:9

+St. Padre Pio . . . who heard confessions around 16 hours per day when he was a priest here on earth . . . is said to have refused absolution to approximately one in every three individuals who came to him . . . he had the rare gift of the** Holy Spirit** of the charism to truly and perfectly . . . **“read souls” **. . . as to the true facts of the individual confessions and the actual sincerity of the individual in regard to amending the faults re each confession. The . . . Sweet Spirit of our Holy God . . . gave him profound insights as to the true nature in the . . . Sight of God . . . of what was really going on spiritually in the souls who came to him . . .

. . . all for Jesus+*
. . . thank You Blessed Lord our Saviour+
. . . thank you Blessed Virgin Mary our Mother+*​
 
+Just lifting up the **Lord **and **Sacred :bible1: Scripture ** . . . the thoughts of God . . . higher . . . than mere mortal thought ringil . . .

*God bless . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+​
 
MadetoLove said:
I’ll try and keep it brief. I was denied absolution in confession a few days ago because the priest didn’t believe I was going to do all that I can to avoid sin in the future. I already had a plan before going to confession in regards to avoiding the near occasion of sin, but I think the priest sensed that I wasn’t very sure of myself and so consequently was concerned.

He gave me advice and said that he would like me to return to him on Saturday, if I am ready, to let him know what has transpired and of course, make an honest confession.

So my question is, in the name of prudence and for the sake of my soul, do you think I should wait until Saturday to go to confession again? Or if I am ready to confess with a contrite heart before then, would it be okay to see another priest for confession?

Thank you 🙂
Click to expand...
Obey your confessor and thank God for him. We have to obey our confessors. That is what I would do.
 
Contrition (sorrow for our sins) is an important element, but not the only element, of the sacrament. Genuine repentence includes a firm resolve to try not to repeat the sins we confess.
I think your confessor is a blessing. I’m glad you took his words to heart.
I believe that the peace you wrote about is a gift from the Holy Spirit – a fruit of your efforts to be humble and to face truth. I hope your next Confession brings you much healing and joy.

An Act of Contrition: Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee. I detest all my sins, because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend thee my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of they grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.
 
quiet52 said:
Contrition (sorrow for our sins) is an important element, but not the only element, of the sacrament. Genuine repentence includes a firm resolve to try not to repeat the sins we confess.
I think your confessor is a blessing. I’m glad you took his words to heart.
I believe that the peace you wrote about is a gift from the Holy Spirit – a fruit of your efforts to be humble and to face truth. I hope your next Confession brings you much healing and joy.

An Act of Contrition: Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee. I detest all my sins, because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend thee my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of they grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.
Click to expand...
+*Beautiful contribution . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+​
 
MadetoLove said:
I’ll try and keep it brief. I was denied absolution in confession a few days ago because the priest didn’t believe I was going to do all that I can to avoid sin in the future. I already had a plan before going to confession in regards to avoiding the near occasion of sin, but I think the priest sensed that I wasn’t very sure of myself and so consequently was concerned.

He gave me advice and said that he would like me to return to him on Saturday, if I am ready, to let him know what has transpired and of course, make an honest confession.

So my question is, in the name of prudence and for the sake of my soul, do you think I should wait until Saturday to go to confession again? Or if I am ready to confess with a contrite heart before then, would it be okay to see another priest for confession?

Thank you 🙂
Click to expand...
I would go to the same confessor, out of obedience 🙂 God bless!
 
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