When a priest enters the room

[PaulinVA]

So are you a hippie, then?

And why Adult Experience, when most of us learned our manners as young people?

Well…

My almost-not-a-teenager-any-more son is growing his hair longer. No matter how long it gets, my wife just tells him, “You father’s was longer when he was your age.”

Actually, I played guitar in those folk masses of the seventies. You know, Kumbaya and Cary Landry and all that.

And, yes, we learn our manners as children. I was, perhaps, rather obliquely accusing you of yearning for the good ol’ days that you didn’t really ever experience. That seems untrue, and I apologize.

 

[Ottaviani]

ahh, it all makes sense now!
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

“hey man, Father’s one of us!”

“groovy man… Groovy”

 

[PaulinVA]

Ha ha.

Most people consider me conservative. Short hair now. House, mortgage, minivan (okay, it’s the wife’s). NFP, daily rosary…

 

[T700]

I was born in 1960 and most certainly learned to stand when any adult entered the room.

Once, my parents had to make an emergency visit to the local police station (my father was a principal and one of his students was in serious trouble). While waiting for the matter be resolved, guards brought an older man through the room, shackled hand and foot. I stood and offered him my seat, much to the amusement of everyone. (Bear in mind, I was only about five or six!)

Paul

 

[Pioro]

Anyone seen “The Bells of St. Mary’s”? It has a scene in it where Father O’ Malley enters the classroom and everyone stands, and the nun offers him her chair, and he takes it.

I thought the standing thing was good, but was surprised when the priest took the nun’s (woman’s) chair. In my experience it would’ve been correct for him to thank her, but decline. Any comments?

I think that there was perhaps a much stronger sense in those days that sisters were ‘lower’ than priests, that she was showing him honor by giving up her seat to him, and that he was showing not arrogance or bad manners, but accepting a dignity due his station. I think this is hard to understand now, and that feminism has had a lot to do with it. Nowadays women in the US are brought up not to expect men to unlock their car doors or pull out a chair for them or go around and open their car door for them, etc., help them on with their coats, find them a chair if they are standing, stand when they enter the room, etc. So the whole business of standing when anyone enters the room can seem alien.

When I was in school (1970s), it wasn’t just the children who stood when the priest entered, but the teacher, too - lay or religious. Then the ill winds of ‘the spirit of Vatican II’ blew through our parish (meaning our old-school Monsignor retired and ‘Father Bob’ with his open-collars and crucifix dangling among his chest hairs took over). I remember the confusion we kids felt, when we did as we were trained, and stood up to say (sing-song), ‘Good MORNing FATHer!’ and were told to be seated and we didn’t have to stand for him, he was just an ordinary grown-up, etc. We KNEW, somehow, deep down, that he was NOT ‘just an ordinary grown-up,’ and besides, many of us had been taught to be respectful to ALL grown-ups. It was like the priests had abdicated the dignity of their priesthood in exchange for wanting to be ‘one of the gang’ with the kids. We didn’t like it. It was around that time that we started to think that anyone in religious life was ‘weird’ and ‘strange.’ They had abandoned the dignity of their position as adults - and as priests and religious (the sisters were similar), and we knew something was wrong with it.

A funny thing for me in this is that as I grew up, I absorbed the feminist mentality while all the time thinking I was by no means a feminist, and having no sympathy with feminism. I moved to Poland about 17 years ago, and got a jolt. Here, men are gentlemen, and women are ladies. When men dropped what they were doing to help me on with my coat or to take a parcel from me and carry it for me, or when my male students (I teach in a college) stood up and BOWED when I came into the room (the most well-bred of them, anyway), I was floored! They don’t bow anymore, but they are most respectful. A few weeks ago, I was chatting to a male student for about half an hour, when he suddenly got a horror-stricken look on his face and said, 'I just realized I’ve been sitting all this time and I didn’t get you a chair!"

I’ve got used to the wonderful gentlemanliness of Polish men, but it creates a moments of awkwardness for me because I also work with priests, and my confessor is a bishop. Because of my early training, I just CANNOT sit down before a priest sits. But because these priests are Polish gentlemen, they CANNOT sit down before a lady sits. When I meet the bishop for confession, I have to sit before he does, or he’ll be uncomfortable. After all these years, I’m still very conscious of forcing myself to sit first, before the priests I work with or the bishop when we meet privately.

I think that the original poster’s students will probably stand up on reflex NEXT year, when the priest comes to the classroom, and the teacher will either have to tell them not to, or the teacher will realize that it’s good, and let it continue.

 

[Pioro]

When I was in school taught mostly by Polish and Polish American nuns in the late 70’s, we would stand and say “Praised be Jesus Christ, good morning Father …”

Outside of my school days I can’t ever remember hearing this greeting except in a German language movie, where I learned that the custom was to reply “In alle Ewigkeit Amen” = “Forever and ever Amen.” (Our pastor never replied in that way). So I was pleasantly surprised recently when I called a bookstore run by an Orthodox woman, she answered the phone with “Praised be Jesus Christ…”

I live in Poland (I’m American and not of Polish background at all), and I can say that what you describe is a beautiful custom here. I particularly love it when I hear children greet priests this way. I have an image engraved on my memory from several years ago… I was walking home from the local grocery store, and as I got to my corner, the sun was low in the sky ahead of me. The elderly parish priest from my parish rode by on his bicycle, silhouetted against the setting sun, going to a home visit on my street. A child of six or seven started running to reach the corner before the priest pedalled by so she could shout, ‘May Jesus Christ be praised!’ to the priest. He raised a hand in blessing and replied, ‘For ever and ever, amen,’ and the child just beamed.

In Poland in the Easter season, the greeting is, ‘Christ is risen!’ and the response is, ‘He is truly risen!’ Priests greet you with that and ‘people from church’ greet one another that way.

This summer I was home in the States for a visit and met my father’s parish priest, who is from Poland. He came out to the house because he wanted to talk to someone ‘from Poland’ (me). When he came into the house, he said, ‘May Jesus Christ be praised’ (in Polish). I had a feeling I was being tested - and that he was just a little afraid he was putting me on the spot - and I was very glad to be able to answer, ‘Forever and ever amen.’ It’s a beautiful custom.

In Poland there’s another custom like this. When you meet a priest or religious, or when you meet someone else at church or even when you meet someone you know from church (for example on the street), there is a special greeting. It’s in ‘older’ Polish, and doesn’t quite translate, but people say that it means something like ‘God bless you’ (it’s not exactly ‘God bless you’ in Polish, though). It’s heart-warming to be walking home from morning Mass, and meet co-parishioners on their way to the next Mass, and exchange this old, Christian greeting with them.

I find this part of the beauty of living in a Catholic culture, that these ancient customs permeate daily life.

 

[Pioro]

My parents taught me that the social machinery runs very imperfectly even at its best, and bad manners was throwing sand into that machinery. I can remember once or twice saying Yeah to my Mama and having her reply tartly, Yes MAM?

The funny thing is that I have done that so often that I sometimes automatically and absent mindedly correct adults I do not know in elevators. Once a lady said Huh? when someone asked her to press a floor button and I said automatically, Dont say Huh, say Pardon me? Then I apologized and said that was the Mom in me. I also almost slapped a famous racing driver off his paddock bike; he came up behind a group of women at Monza and said something dirty in exasperation because we were in his way, and I turned around with my hand in slapping position, then said, Do you kiss your Mama with that mouth? instead. Its a reflex.

Appleby… I LIKE you!

 

[filiaecclesia]

What a wonderful thread! I’m sorry to come to it late -

I thought I had “invented” the idea of teaching my children to stand up when Father entered the room (unfortunately I didn’t have the benefit of an elementary school Catholic education)! I have no idea if children at parochial schools are taught this anymore, but none of the children in our parish’s choir had any idea why my daughter popped out of her seat one evening during practice.

She later told me she felt a little embarrassed that she was the only one who stood when Father entered the church, and she sat down quickly since no one else stood, not even the choir director.

Our pastor once told me he was very often offended at the lack of respect young people show priests today. I say BRAVO to those who teach children respect for all people, but especially respect for our priests.

 

[lizaanne]

I was walking home from the local grocery store, and as I got to my corner, the sun was low in the sky ahead of me. The elderly parish priest from my parish rode by on his bicycle, silhouetted against the setting sun, going to a home visit on my street. A child of six or seven started running to reach the corner before the priest pedalled by so she could shout, ‘May Jesus Christ be praised!’ to the priest. He raised a hand in blessing and replied, ‘For ever and ever, amen,’ and the child just beamed.

Oh Pioro, this just brought tears to my eyes!!! How wonderful!!!

~Liza

 

[The_Prodigal]

I live in Poland (I’m American and not of Polish background at all), and I can say that what you describe is a beautiful custom here. I particularly love it when I hear children greet priests this way.

A beautiful custom, indeed!

In Poland there’s another custom like this. When you meet a priest or religious, or when you meet someone else at church or even when you meet someone you know from church (for example on the street), there is a special greeting. It’s in ‘older’ Polish, and doesn’t quite translate, but people say that it means something like ‘God bless you’ (it’s not exactly ‘God bless you’ in Polish, though). It’s heart-warming to be walking home from morning Mass, and meet co-parishioners on their way to the next Mass, and exchange this old, Christian greeting with them.

I find this part of the beauty of living in a Catholic culture, that these ancient customs permeate daily life.

When I was in Austria, I learned to greet someone by saying “Grüß Gott,” which is another untranslatable phrase meaning approximately “God’s greeting”, or may “God greet you.” It’s also common to say goodbye there with “Servus.” That is Latin for “servant,” so the meaning is “(I am your) servant.”

Long live these old customs, and standing out of respect for priests!

 

[Artizanne]

When I was a child the Presbytery was right next door to our school. There were seven Priests residing there, and it was unusual for a day to go by without a visit from one of them. We truly loved our Priests as did our parents and they brought us up to have a respect for them. I remember that they had a tendency to visit late morning - often just before lunch time. They would spend time with us in the classroom and also in the playground where we would flock around them - often tugging and swinging on their long cassocks; jumping and leaping on them, not roughly but affectionately - and they in turn would revel in the purity of the affection in which they were held, the safety of the knowledge of trust between us and the clergy, and the sheer freedom to enjoy - unencumbered! childish games and pursuits. How I remember those days and wish with all my heart and soul that we could return to them. How I thank God for the innocence of my childhood and for the sanctity of those Holy men. I still remember them all with great affection and pray for them. “May God grant them eternal rest and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen”

 

[soflochristmas]

I agree. But we have seen thread(s) on how to dress properly for Mass where folks insist that you’re really being pharisaical to put so much emphasis on such outward expressions. Here it wouldn’t surprise me to have someone chime in that the kids really love and respect Father and it’s what’s in their hearts that matters, so why do they have to stand to show it, it’s all cultural anyway and today they show their respect by slouching in their seats and grunting, etc.

Isn’t it amazing that peopel don’t flinch for a moment at dress codes for things like “playing golf”, going to the performing arts, restaurants. But suggest a “dress code” for church and those same people object. What have we come to when it’s ok to have a dress code to play golf (colared shirts, no shorts, etc.) but you can’t have the same for church.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

You know you’re a traditional Catholic when you require your students to stand when a priest enters the room or approaches your lunch table etc. True also when any adult enters, approaches etc… but it’s especially disheartening when kids show no respect toward a priest. I am the only teacher in my school who teaches this.

Keep up the good work!

 

[Cracker_Mom]

When I attended Catholic school (all those many years ago) we not only stood when a priest entered the room, the girls curtsied (not sure of spelling) and the boys bowed as we said “Good morning (or afternoon) Father”.

We had to curtsy, too back in the '60’s.
I met a lady just a bit older than I am recently & when she was introduced I could see her start to bend her knees, then stop herself.I have the same reflex whenever I meet someone new, especially someone in authority.Old habits die hard.
Kids should stand up when a priest enters a room and I think that should go for any occasion when an adult visits a classroom.Dropping a curtsy is a lovely old fashioned custom but probably wouldn’t cut it in schools nowadays.

 

[VJCadarr]

I work in the Parish Office and our Parochial Vicar teaches 7th Grade Religion. For the first one or two classes, he let it slide when the kids failed to stand when he entered the classroom. Then he addressed it with them. Now, they not only stand when he enters, but they respect him even more even when he is not in the classroom. As Father explained it, you are not standing for a specific priest, you are standing out of respect for the sacred office of priesthood. I am 63 and never knew that until several days ago. Father also said it is not expected that one has to stand every time a priest passes your desk.

 

[soflochristmas]

Ha ha.

Most people consider me conservative. Short hair now. House, mortgage, minivan (okay, it’s the wife’s). NFP, daily rosary…

Hmmm. It never occured to me that conservatism was defined by hair length, mortgages and the car you drive. I’ll give you that NFP and praying might fit that category. Curious if you don’t mind me asking (although I would understand if you do ). Do you practice NFP because it “natural” or because it’s open to the possibility of life?

 

[PaulinVA]

Hmmm. It never occured to me that conservatism was defined by hair length, mortgages and the car you drive. I’ll give you that NFP and praying might fit that category. Curious if you don’t mind me asking (although I would understand if you do ). Do you practice NFP because it “natural” or because it’s open to the possibility of life?

Well, it’s the only Church-approved method of avoiding pregnancy without being totally abstinent. We are trying to avoid, so that’s the short-answer reason.

We use the Sympto-Thermal Method, and, for us, it has been 100% successful when we were trying to achieve pregnancy, and it has been 100% effective in avoiding pregnancy. Are we open to life? Yes. Is it natural? Well, it derives from knowing a woman’s cycle, so that’s the natural part. If you know how the cycle works, the barrier methods are like russian roulette, as well as being wrong.