When a priest is not polite

[EasterJoy]

I also think that when someone goes too far it’s fair to address it in the moment. I realize those things catch people off guard, but having a planned response or two at the ready could help. It might just be a non-verbal gaze and a “Father?” Sometimes humor would lighten the situation. Depends on the person, of course. I’ve said to a supervisor, “It’s obvious you’re upset. If it’s something I did, tell me, and let’s address it. If it’s not, please direct that to the proper recipient.” She stopped in the moment. Apologized later.

Yes! This!

It is far better to draw a boundary by asking for a particular act to be addressed in a low-key way at the time it happens than to have a formal meeting to bring up a pattern of behaviors that were never questioned in the moment.

If the person denies that some small incident is any big deal, then maybe bring up that it isn’t really just one small incident, but a growing pattern of incidents. If a series of incidents brought to the attention of the person in the moment are just continuing without any change, that is when a more formal meeting about the pattern is probably needed. If the person renounces the behavior in the moment, though, it is better to not bring up the pattern. If your brother is asking for forgiveness, forgive seventy times seven times. Saints are not made in a day. Besides, every time we forbear we grow the cup of forbearance that will be used to measure to us!