When all you get are crosses...

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Convert_in_99

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When all you get are crosses. One after another, after another. My life is filled with crosses. One more added today. :crying: Only more crosses are added, rarely is one taken away. What is God calling me to? And why me? Why do others get comfort and normalcy and I get crosses? Big heavy, crushing crosses. I didn’t sign up for this. I’m not strong enough. How do I carry this weight, how do I keep going on. Every day feels like a nightmare. A bad dream that I must somehow move through, but I just want to wake up. I want the nightmare to be over. I don’t want to have to live like this day in and day out, and yet, I have no choice. I can either be crushed by heavy crosses, or deny my faith. Of course I’ll take the crosses, but it’s hard. So incredibly hard to let yourself be crushed (in a sense) by God and the weight of all the crosses He gives when all you want to do is be loved and nurtured and held by Him. But comfort and consolation are not for me. I get pain, sorrow, sadness, suffering, loss. Sometimes I like to be on here just to read about the normalcy of life. My life seems far from normal right now. I don’t know if I’ve ever been ‘normal,’ or really even what that must be like without reading about it. It’s so hard. I need some strength and support and cyber hugs. Please pray for me. I’m really desperately needing prayers right now. :crying:
 
Prayers and hugs for you x
Someone told me this - hope it helps
God wouldn’t give you these crosses if he didn’t KNOW you can carry them.
 
agetha said:
Prayers and hugs for you x
Someone told me this - hope it helps
God wouldn’t give you these crosses if he didn’t KNOW you can carry them.
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:hug1: Thank you so very much agetha. :hug1:
 
I am praying for you too. :console: Praying the Stations of the Cross or Sorrowful Mother devotion has been very helpful for me lately – doesn’t take away the cross, but puts things in perspective and allows me to join my suffering to Christ’s.

Peace be with you…
 
If pain were water, the whole world would drown.

Saying I am sorry for your circumstances and how you feel just doesn’t seem to express how I feel towards your pain.

God bless you beautiful soul-May our Lord give you the grace you deserve.
 
Like I said in the other thread, is it possible you are suffering from depression? Maybe you could benefit from some counselling? Or some other doctor?
 
Try this one on for size:

chastitysf.com/suffering.htm

Dr. Richmond is recommending people in your circumstance, to read and meditate on the Book of Job. He has an excellent description of suffering, and why it is needed to lead the life of the Christian disciple.

I think this is the Scriptural prescription you need…And I would recommend that prescription, before you see another doctor or counselor.
 
This is the prayer of St. Francis de Sales. I find some comfort in it…I can only hope you do as well…

The everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms, and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His holy name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
… I need some strength and support and cyber hugs. Please pray for me. I’m really desperately needing prayers right now. :crying:
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:console: :gopray2:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. amen.,

Soul of Christ, sanctify this poster. Body of Christ, save her. Blood of Christ, inebriate her. Passion of Christ, strengthen her. Oh good Jesus, hear her. Within Your wounds, hide her. Suffer her not to be separated from You. From the malicious enemy, defend her. In the hour of her death, call her and bid her to come unto You that she may praise You with Your saints and angels forever. Amen
 
{{{ }}}

I can sympathize in a way you couldn’t imagine. Sometimes it seems like that’s all we have… more pain. The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

Another train.

And another.

A priest here just gave a sermon a few weeks ago talking about the cross, and how Christ said, “If you want to be my disciple, you must take up your cross and follow me.” The priest said we lose sight of what the cross meant to Christ’s listeners in Judea: It was an instrument of torture to which they would be nailed until they died, until they suffocated or bled out the last drop of life.

Our crosses are not petty annoyances. They are instruments of TORTURE. And we must pick them up and carry them. That’s Christ’s promise to us if we want to be like Him.

Very.difficult.stuff.

What you see when you look around you is a lot of people who may not have picked up their cross. Yet. Don’t look at them. Keep your eyes on God.

I would suggest you get the movie The Passion of the Christ. Watch the scene over and over where Simon is taken from the crowd and forced to help Christ carry the cross. Watch how it changes him. Watch how he grows to love and appreciate that cross and how he seems reluctant to let it go in the end, because to let it go, he also lets go of Christ. Carrying that cross was a privelege he realized. He was united with Christ in a way no one in the crowd except His mother could be.

I’ll leave you with something over my desk by Archbishop Fulton Sheen:

“If you live your life for Christ, not the slightest moment of your life goes to waste. Does not a mother often set aside suitable gifts or even a dowry for her daughter’s wedding before love has ever come into her life? Our Lord is weaving your heavenly robes for the heavenly nuptials, though you know it not, in moments that seem so loveless.”

You really aren’t as alone in life as you think you are. :o
 
kristie_m said:
This is the prayer of St. Francis de Sales. I find some comfort in it…I can only hope you do as well…

The everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms, and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His holy name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.
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Liberanosamalo said:
I’ll leave you with something over my desk by Archbishop Fulton Sheen:

“If you live your life for Christ, not the slightest moment of your life goes to waste. Does not a mother often set aside suitable gifts or even a dowry for her daughter’s wedding before love has ever come into her life? Our Lord is weaving your heavenly robes for the heavenly nuptials, though you know it not, in moments that seem so loveless.”
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Beautiful, kristie & Liberanos … just beautiful! :heaven:

Convert in 99, I’ll pray for you.

THE PRAYER,
COURAGE TO ACCOMPANY YOU LORD
(By Bede Jarrett, OP)

Lord, give us all the courage we need
to go the way you shepherd us,
that when you call
we may go unfrightened.

If you bid us come to you across the waters,
that we may not be frightened as we go.

And if you bid us climb the hill,
may we not notice that it is a hill,
mindful only of the happiness of your company.

You made us for yourself,
that we should travel with you
and see you at last in your unveiled beauty
in the abiding city,
where you are light and happiness
and endless home.

catholicdoors.com/prayers/english3/p02710.htm
 
Oh, I’m sorry Convert. I know you have a lot of physical pain every day…I think you are so strong, in my eyes, if that means anything. I think of you a lot…and I admire your strength. You serve as an inspiration to others. I am praying for you Convert, please know that…and know that your suffering isn’t in vain. I second mr p’s recommendation of reading the book of Job. I can’t think of her name, but there is a beautiful saint who was in constant pain…daily…for years, and from her bedside she was able to orchastrate people together to build a Catholic school for girls. I really need to locate that story, I read it years ago, when we were in PA still. God uses our pain and suffering, and turns it for good. I pray that you will have relief and peace, soon. :hug1: :gopray:
 
Convert, I know exactly how you feel.
My life has not been very good, the farthest thing from normal for as long as I can remeember. All of my friends are doing rather 'well" and I find it hard to think they could possibly understand what I go through. It seems all I get are crosses too. I even tried to better my life four years ago by going to college. I came out even worse- and now in debt I will never pay off. My family is very distant, I have no firneds in my neighborhood. i all get to hear ia voices on the phone and these forums. I am incredibly lonely.
My heart is with you, I feel your pain. I shall pray for you.
 
*For you, Convert…this is not the saint I’m thinking of…but I ran across this on ewtn tonight…may it bring you comfort to join your sufferings with others.

O Lord my soul is sick, I bring to you all my sins and misfortunes. All my salvation and joy are in You, O Crucified Christ, and in whatever state I happen to be, I shall never take my eyes away from Your Cross.

– St Angela of Foligno *
 
I’m so sorry Convert… Prayers from 1 CAF member 2 another…
 
Convert_in_99 said:
When all you get are crosses. One after another, after another. My life is filled with crosses. One more added today. :crying: Only more crosses are added, rarely is one taken away. What is God calling me to? And why me? Why do others get comfort and normalcy and I get crosses? Big heavy, crushing crosses. I didn’t sign up for this. I’m not strong enough. How do I carry this weight, how do I keep going on. Every day feels like a nightmare. A bad dream that I must somehow move through, but I just want to wake up. I want the nightmare to be over. I don’t want to have to live like this day in and day out, and yet, I have no choice. I can either be crushed by heavy crosses, or deny my faith. Of course I’ll take the crosses, but it’s hard. So incredibly hard to let yourself be crushed (in a sense) by God and the weight of all the crosses He gives when all you want to do is be loved and nurtured and held by Him. But comfort and consolation are not for me. I get pain, sorrow, sadness, suffering, loss. Sometimes I like to be on here just to read about the normalcy of life. My life seems far from normal right now. I don’t know if I’ve ever been ‘normal,’ or really even what that must be like without reading about it. It’s so hard. I need some strength and support and cyber hugs. Please pray for me. I’m really desperately needing prayers right now. :crying:
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Convert,

Don’t take this wrong, but to hear of your pain is an odd comfort to me. I and others on this thread have felt a similar thing, and it is very hard. This is the walk with Christ, the walk that has no forseeable earthly relief. Talk of the blessings received in suffering are of little comfort in these times. We walk with you (yes we do!), and we are all in good company; the best (!) in fact. When you cannot take another step, throw your burden down at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to carry it for a bit, until his love warms your weary soul again.

Prayers for you, Tim
 
I’m at a loss for words. :crying: You have no idea what it meant to me to read through all these consoling posts, wonderful prayers and meditations to reflect on, and all your personal prayers said on my behalf. The kindness of people here is just amazing at times. I wish I could give back a small portion of what you have given me. The road is still rough, the cross still painfully heavy, the light still absent and yet, because of your sweet replies I have the courage and strength to face one more day. And that is what we are called to live, just one day at a time. 👍 Thank you all so very very much. :hug2:
 
My prayers are with you. God bless you in your struggles and may He give you the strength to carry on.

I have a close friend who could have written your op. Someone I have known for years who seemingly just has one bad thing after another occur.

In my own life when times are hard I have found it helpful to praise God for the good things I have no matter how small or insignificant and no matter how bad my circumstances may be at the time. I know this may be hard but take time to find something positive and thank God in prayer for it. If nothing comes to mind thank Him for finding this web-site and the replies received.

Peace be with you.
 
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