When am I obliged to start my family?

[askaanland]

My husband and I have been married three years and this is the first year we are both done with school. I am the primary breadwinner now because he has a less stable job at a nonprofit with no insurance. We are postponing starting our family until my husband’s job has a steady paycheck and insurance. That’s not for selfish reasons, is it? I find it difficult to find good advice on when to start a family.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

So long as you and your husband remain open to the possibility of life through natural family planning, financial necessity does meet the requirement for just cause to postpone children.

It should be said, though, that part of the process for discerning marriage should have included whether you were both in a position to start a family. You have already waited three years to finish school and are now facing an indeterminate postponement until your husband finds a job that will enable him to be the primary breadwinner for the family – a position he should have had before seeking to marry. Although love in marriage is very important, the purpose of marriage is to begin a family and those who are not in a position to do so should not be engaged in courtship.

While you can’t go back and change things now, the process for how to determine readiness to marry may be something that you should consider teaching to your children once you do begin your family.

Recommended reading:

God, Sex, and Babies by Christopher West
Christian Courtship In An Over-Sexed World by T. G. Morrow