When am I supposed to be humble?

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Nelka

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When my boss has a go at me about something I haven’t done?

Afterwards I cannot let go of it and I cannot keep my mouth shut but I didn’t deserve it.

People tell me that I am my own worst enemy and that I am a waste of space but it is being in trouble for something I haven’t done that I cannot handle. Should I just nod and get on with my job?

Thanks.
 
Pretty dependant on a myriad of factors. I have the kinda job where I have gone into an office and chewed out ny bosses bc I can get away with it… some people can’t. This of course could affect the back end? I apply for a promotion and the same bosses are the decision makers… etc…

So the question is the futility of the situation, the risk/rewards etc. Note that in my case my bosses hands are partially tied, and their margin of slighting me out of a job is real but smaller than most, plus they still know I get stuff done and was more right than wrong 🙂 but in a small business of cutthroat company “going off” could get you fired etc. Plus can you be “proper” when you do? I raised my voice and was roundabout insulting, but I could refrain from buzz words that could actually get me in trouble…
 
Nelka said:
When my boss has a go at me about something I haven’t done?
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One can respectfully defend one’s self against unfair accusations. I suppose the decision that has to be made is when to do so. Making too much of a fuss too often can discredit you even if you have a legitimate position. One has to pick one’s battles.

Here’s a great definition of humility from Fr. John Hardon, S.J.:
The moral virtue that keeps a person from reaching beyond himself. It is the virtue that restrains the unruly desire for personal greatness and leads people to an orderly love of themselves based on a true appreciation of their position with respect to God and their neighbors. Religious humility recognizes one’s total dependence on God; moral humility recognizes one’s creaturely equality with others. Yet humility is not only opposed to pride; it is also opposed to immoderate self-abjection, which would fail to recognize God’s gifts and use them according to his will. (Etym. Latin humilitas, abasement, humility, from humus, ground.)
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Nelka said:
When my boss has a go at me about something I haven’t done?

Afterwards I cannot let go of it and I cannot keep my mouth shut but I didn’t deserve it.

People tell me that I am my own worst enemy** and that I am a waste of space **but it is being in trouble for something I haven’t done that I cannot handle. Should I just nod and get on with my job?

Thanks.
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People tell you’re a waste of space? Wow, that would be really insulting!

Humility is when we did something wrong and accept correction. It doesn’t apply to when we’re falsely accused.
 
Nelka said:
When my boss has a go at me about something I haven’t done?

Afterwards I cannot let go of it and I cannot keep my mouth shut but I didn’t deserve it.

People tell me that I am my own worst enemy and that I am a waste of space but it is being in trouble for something I haven’t done that I cannot handle. Should I just nod and get on with my job?

Thanks.
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I’m reminded of Luke 8:17
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

I don’t exactly know if this verse pertains to smaller things in life (like who ate my lunch that was in the lunchroom refrigerator?), but it sure has that possibility.

Then again, sometimes people want to blame others and put them down for it because they are making a scape goat out of you. I don’t believe humility has anything to do with that, other than being respectful to them when you state your case, meekly. (gentle kindness with patience, love)

Sometimes misunderstandings occur too. This is why it is better to discuss- maybe they say you are your own worst enemy because maybe you get too emotional in their judgement? Nothing of the faith states “sit down and shut up and never speak up”. In fact, we should speak up for injustices done. (sin of omission- a failure to act against a wrong). Humility is remembering your place before the Lord with proper respect to all others too. “there but for the grace of God go I” type thing. It means not to self seek- meaning seeking your gain only.

As someone said here… it depends on the situation. There are times you can just let it go. There are also times you should speak up.
 
Saints advise in these cases to offer up the humiliation of being wrongly accused, and if one can make a correction at an appropriate time and manner, peacefully, to do so in the interest of truth.

This is a good practice on so many levels that it is hard to start explaining. Tey praying the Litany of Humility by Cardinal Merry every day and thinking about why he included some of the items. It’s very illuminating.
 
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