When Did Your Parish Start Holding Hands At The Our Father?

[HelpingHands]

Michael Welter:

How do we know this is true? Was a study done to determine how these people feel, or is this an assumption on the part of the author?

Hi Michael!
I think it’s more likely that people uncomfortable with holding hands with strangers are feeling social pressure to do so. And, people who think holding hands is an important expression of community can feel rejected if someone chooses not to hold hands.

I personally don’t have strong emotions about hand-holding like some do. At my parish it’s not universal, so there’s no pressure to do so, as some do and some don’t. I don’t choose to, but if I’m in a parish where it is the universal custom, I go along with it.

Read this, though, which is in an answer on the Colorado Springs website that explains why this is problematic, and doesn’t generate the unity that handholding proponents desire, but instead causes more division in the Body of Christ…

Holding hands during the Our Father is a relatively benign posture when a family or small group decide they want to hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer. However, when this personal posture becomes the “expectation” of the whole congregation, then we run into problems because an unofficial liturgical innovation serves against the purpose many claim the posture is intended to create – unity among the community.

 

[Searching13]

Sorry Tadly,
—I missed your post

tadly:

I’m new here and I may have missed it.
At the church I am attending, the priest said that we should never do anything that is not stated in the GIRM.

Can you give an example of something that is not in the GIRM which you do in mass?

from the GIRM

1. The celebration of the Eucharist in a particular Church is of utmost importance.

For the diocesan Bishop, the chief steward of the mysteries of God in the particular Church entrusted to his care, is the moderator, promoter, and guardian of the whole of its liturgical life.33…
The Bishop should therefore be determined that the priests, the deacons, and the lay Christian faithful grasp ever more deeply the genuine meaning of the rites and liturgical texts and thereby be led to an active and fruitful celebration of the Eucharist. To the same end, he should also be vigilant that the dignity of these celebrations be enhanced. In promoting this dignity, the beauty of the sacred place, of music, and of art should contribute as greatly as possible.

1. Moreover, in order that such a celebration may correspond more fully to the prescriptions and spirit of the Sacred Liturgy, and also in order to increase its pastoral effectiveness, certain accommodations and adaptations are specified in this General Instruction and in the Order of Mass.
2. These adaptations consist for the most part in the choice of certain rites or texts, that is, of the chants, readings, prayers, explanations, and gestures that may respond better to the needs, preparation, and culture of the participants and that are entrusted to the priest celebrant.

I think incorrect interpretation of this paragraph (which follows the above quote) is the source of much confusion

Nevertheless, the priest must remember that he is the servant of the Sacred Liturgy and that he himself is not permitted, on his own initiative, to add, to remove, or to change anything in the celebration of Mass.34

Although we certainly must use good understanding, this direction is not for the laity. For example the form of the sign of peace, the act of reverence before receiving Communion and the posture after Communionis are left to the bishop, so therefore cannot be included in the GIRM. It is the celebrant who commits the abuse, not the laity. Any correction of the laity is to be done in private and in charity by someone in authority—it is not up to us to correct or embarrass. It is best to discuss any concerns with the Priest, and go on from there if no satisfactory explanation is given.

This is from the postures bulletin

usccb.org/liturgy/girm/bul3.shtml

Gestures too involve our bodies in prayer. The most familiar of these is the Sign of the Cross with which we begin Mass and with which, in the form of a blessing, the Mass concludes. Because it was by his death on the cross that Christ redeemed humankind, we trace the sign of the cross on our foreheads, lips and hearts at the beginning of the Gospel. Fr. Romano Guardini, a scholar and professor of liturgy wrote of this gesture:

When we cross ourselves, let it be with a real sign of the cross. Instead of a small, cramped gesture that gives no notion of its meaning, let us make a large, unhurried sign, from forehead to breast, from shoulder to shoulder, consciously feeling how it includes the whole of us, our thoughts, our attitudes, our body and soul, every part of us all at once, how it consecrates and sanctifies us … (Romano Guardini, Sacred Signs, 1927)

But there are other gestures that intensify our prayer at Mass. During the Confiteor the action of striking our breasts at the words through my own fault can strengthen my awareness that my sin is my fault.

In the Creed we are invited to bow at the words which commemorate the Incarnation: by the power of the Holy Spirit he was born of the Virgin Mary and became man. This gesture signifies our profound respect and gratitude to Christ who, though God, did not hesitate to come among us as a human being, sharing our human condition in order to save us from sin and restore us to friendship with God. This gratitude is expressed with even greater solemnity on the Feast of the Annunciation of the Lord and on Christmas when we genuflect at these words.

None of the underlined gestures are mentioned in the GIRM, but are certainly not forbidden.

 

[Veronica_Anne]

caroljm36:

It’s always been that way at my parish, until the new GIRM that is, but I’ve been Catholic only since 1993. I don’t miss holding sweaty palms but you still have to shake hands with 'em.

My husband is a cradle Catholic, 66 years old, and he says he thought they held hands way back in pre-Vat II days and didn’t know why we stopped. But his memory tends to be bad.

Welcome home, Caroljm36!

I’m a cradle Catholic born in the mid-50’s, so I certainly remember going to Mass before the 2nd Vatican Council was called.

So, I can tell you for a fact that nobody ever held hands at any Mass anywhere back then. It never occurred to anybody to do that – even when you were standing next to your spouse or one of your own children.

So when I first encountered that holding-hands thing at Mass, I was scandalized! Now, I’m imposed upon to do hold hands with a total stranger standing next to me.

Oh, by the way… the rubrics of the Sign of Peace do NOT officially call for shaking the person’s hand. So, be at peace. You’re not required to shake their hand. We can wish someone peace without ever touching them.

If someone thinks you’re being rude, that’s their “take” on it. You are NOT being rude if you don’t actually shake the person’s hand!

I’ll shake the person’s hand and not let go until they look me in the eye when I wish them peace. It’ll startle that person if I don’t let go of their hand until they’ve at least looked me in the eye before they let go because they’ve only glanced at my hand (only) long enough to know where it is to grab it to shake my hand and they’re already within a nano-second looking to someone beside me to shake THEIR hand before they even let go of mine.

 

[Michael_Welter]

Veronica Anne:

Now, I’m imposed upon to do hold hands with a total stranger standing next to me.

Total stranger? That’s an odd way to refer to your brother or sister.

 

[netmilsmom]

Michael Welter:

Total stranger? That’s an odd way to refer to your brother or sister.

Their souls are our Brothers and Sisters. Their bodies are earthly.
I have to agree with Veronica Anne. I reserve hand holding for my nuclear family only. Mostly, it is to control my five year old who is squirming by that point. Also, it makes them special from anyone else.
That being said, I teach my children not to TALK to strangers. I don’t feel it is fruitful to teach them to hold the hand of the stranger next to them is a good message. I have no guarantee that they will understand the difference between a stranger in church or a stranger anywhere else.
The brother or sister in Christ is a good message but there are other ways to show love to those souls that do not include a physical touch.
We shake hands and I feel this is enough.

 

[Michael_Welter]

I’ve actually never been bothered by holding hands during the Our Father. However, based on this topic, I decided to do an experiment. For the past two weeks, I’ve held hands to my chest, in prayer, to see what those next to me would do. After a short glance, they just looked forward and sang the prayer. I felt no pressure at all to hold their hands.

 

[buffalo]

Father Edward McNamara - Common Questions on Liturgical Norms

   A: It is true that there is no prescribed posture for the hands during the        Our Father and that, so far at least, neither the Holy See nor the U.S.        bishops' conference has officially addressed it. 
  
  The argument from silence is not very strong, however, because while there        is no particular difficulty in a couple, family or a small group        spontaneously holding hands during the Our Father, a problem arises when        the entire assembly is expected or obliged to do so.

more…

 

[netmilsmom]

Michael Welter:

I’ve actually never been bothered by holding hands during the Our Father. However, based on this topic, I decided to do an experiment. For the past two weeks, I’ve held hands to my chest, in prayer, to see what those next to me would do. After a short glance, they just looked forward and sang the prayer. I felt no pressure at all to hold their hands.

You are really lucky to be in CA and not in Detroit.