When do I know I have perfect contrition?

[ridesawhitehors]

Someone attacked my character, gossiped against me, insulted me publically. Really ticked me OFF! I slightly retaliated and defended myself. I think I have forgiven them - but I don’t know. In my mind yes, in my heart - I am still hurt, in turmoil, unsettled.

I want to go to confession, I want to recieve the Eucharist. I know I need to, I’m trying to work through this situation so I can.
But I don’t know if I am in the right disposition. That person cut me deep, and I feel no love for them. I’ve been to mass and couldn’t recieve communion - it kills me that someone has robbed me of my peace and I can’t do the one thing I want to do. Be in communion with my Lord. It is bad, I know the Christian thing to do would be to pray for my enemies - but this person is so mean and vile it makes me sick to even think of them.

How do I get to the point of true contrition? I wasn’t the perpetrator in this scenario, but I was a participant - and I feel I have broken the “Thou shalt not kill” commandment pretty good by Jesus standard.
Any wisdom?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

ridesawhitehors:

Someone attacked my character, gossiped against me, insulted me publically. Really ticked me OFF! I slightly retaliated and defended myself. I think I have forgiven them - but I don’t know. In my mind yes, in my heart - I am still hurt, in turmoil, unsettled.

I want to go to confession, I want to recieve the Eucharist. I know I need to, I’m trying to work through this situation so I can.
But I don’t know if I am in the right disposition. That person cut me deep, and I feel no love for them. I’ve been to mass and couldn’t recieve communion - it kills me that someone has robbed me of my peace and I can’t do the one thing I want to do. Be in communion with my Lord. It is bad, I know the Christian thing to do would be to pray for my enemies - but this person is so mean and vile it makes me sick to even think of them.

How do I get to the point of true contrition? I wasn’t the perpetrator in this scenario, but I was a participant - and I feel I have broken the “Thou shalt not kill” commandment pretty good by Jesus standard.
Any wisdom?

Time and Prayer. Time will fade the human emotions and hurt, Prayer will heal the Spiritual harm done. Spend time with Christ ( in the Blessed Sacrament if possible). The more time spent with Him the less time dwelling on the past.

 

[JimG]

Remember that perfect contrition is not required to receive the sacrament of confession. Though your contrition may at this point be imperfect, your sins may still be forgiven, and the graces of the sacrament will help you to heal.

JimG

 

[martino]

The Sacrament of Confession only requires that you have “imperfect contrition” for the Sacrament to be valid. Imperfect contrition is when you are sorry for you sins not our of perfect love of God, but out of fear of His judgement.

GO TO CONFESSION!!!

 

[moira]

ridesawhitehors, It sounds like you were defending yourself. Twenty-five years ago, I had a husband who liked to beat up on me. It really ticked me off, too, and I also defended myself. And I don’t feel guilty about it. I wanted to live. Since that time, I have forgiven him, but some of the hurt still remains and I have no desire to be anywhere near him. But it helped make me who I am today. I have no love for him but I still go to Communion every week. So don’t let this person get the best of you. And time does not heal all wounds. It just makes them easier to live with. Jesus, on the other hand, will heal those wounds. Ask for His peace and I will ask for you also.