When do you admit that you love someone?

[Belgarion]

Some people have it natural, others have to learn. They can learn well, but sometimes it’s like with a foreign language: you can speak better than natives but it still isn’t your natural language no matter how much you’ve learnt. It’s a bit like counting in the binary or hexxadecimal. You can do it, at some point even in memory, but it’s not as “native” to you as the decimal system.

Wow, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Believe me, I’ve been trying for like ten minutes now…nothing…

Siiiiister, gonna need a restraining agent!

…What?!

Possible, though referring to people by first name and last name if one isn’t talking about a celebrity or some such. Just a random observation.

I suppose.
I’m no celebrity.
But trust me…This “little birdy” needed the specification.
I can be more specific elsewhere…but you know what they say. “The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes…the artichokes have hearts, too.”
…Ok, “They” don’t say that…I do…its usually followed by confused looks.

He may show you canon 1095.

Eh?

She’s got ya. You’re in her web now. Sorry. Was nice talking to ya.

How are you sure that she is not caught in my web?

Probably wasn’t an accident. But I didn’t notice a consistent trend.

Too bad.
That would have been a funny story…I mean, she HAD to have been thinking something…You should have put the moves on her man! She can’t withstand that!

As long as I hear the voice and see the body language, I get it. Sometimes better than the speaker and I end up taking subconscious reactions for something bigger, but the reality is that it’s difficult to tell if someone “wants to” or “would like to but doesn’t want to” or “would like to but doesn’t realise”. I can spot if a woman is interested, but it’s more difficult to figure out if she wants to act on it in some cases. It’s more difficult when I’m more emotionally invested, or the person has a particular communication style (e.g. a foreigner) or I only see a verbal message but no voice or body language. Ladies are priceless aid in such cases.

I need to get you over here then… lol

I was going to update the thread’s title…(but I don’t know how, it won’t let me edit the first post)…maybe it’ll help get women in here…I’m very subtle.

On the technical level, an infatuation is close to a psychosis, according to some people.

I believe it, too…

Rubs forehead Sighs

…What?!? lol

 

[Jay53]

Belgarion I was going to update the thread’s title…(but I don’t know how, it won’t let me edit the first post)…maybe it’ll help get women in here…I’m very subtle.

The women are here - we’re just being entertained by the two of you! Your banter is pretty funny.

I don’t really have any advice - I never really quite figured out if you’ve actually gone on a date with her or not - or if you would like to and her Dad won’t let her. ??? I’d probably have to ask my Dad for his opinion seeing as how he raised 3 girls. (Although my husband did ask my parents if he could ask me to marry him - but we had been dating for about a year at that point. I thought that was the coolest thing!) Overall, though, you seem to be doing really well on your own. I keep checking in for updates.

 

[Belgarion]

The women are here - we’re just being entertained by the two of you! Your banter is pretty funny.

I agree. I’ve literally laughed out loud at some of the things Chev says

I don’t really have any advice - I never really quite figured out if you’ve actually gone on a date with her or not - or if you would like to and her Dad won’t let her. ??? I’d probably have to ask my Dad for his opinion seeing as how he raised 3 girls. (Although my husband did ask my parents if he could ask me to marry him - but we had been dating for about a year at that point. I thought that was the coolest thing!) Overall, though, you seem to be doing really well on your own. I keep checking in for updates.

Oh no! No advice!!??

Well, I’m not dating her…yet…I want to…I asked her dad, but I can’t talk to her about it…ridiculous, right?

We’re nearly 20 years old, I think that’s old enough to make our own decisions.

Anyways, let me just ask your opinion on this part here…

Belgarion:

But I was talking to her today (With her siblings at the same table, in the same conversation.) and she was being too quiet! She she says “Ask me something.”
Oh boy. I had to think about it.
But it started a little game that JUST us two were playing.
We would ask each other a question. We asked a few little questions…no big deal…
but then she asks me… “What are your favorite boys’ names?”
cool question, huh?
I don’t mind it…Not one bit.
But why ask? lol
So I told her. She seemed to like them. I in turn asked her what her favorite girls’ names were. She said she had a list, but could remember them all. Then she moved on to HER favorite boys names…
LOL
It was weird, but cool. Random, yet funny.

I wonder…WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

I need womanly opinions on the matter…

BTW, Good for your husband! that’s cool stuff there

 

[Jay53]

I agree. I’ve literally laughed out loud at some of the things Chev says

Oh no! No advice!!??

Well, I’m not dating her…yet…I want to…I asked her dad, but I can’t talk to her about it…ridiculous, right?

We’re nearly 20 years old, I think that’s old enough to make our own decisions.

Anyways, let me just ask your opinion on this part here…

I need womanly opinions on the matter…

BTW, Good for your husband! that’s cool stuff there

I think she was fishing - in a “if I have kids with this guy what would we name them?” way. That’s how I took it. Of course I don’t have her tone/body language to confirm that, but that’s my feeling. (And if she’s a sappy romantic like me and my assessment is correct, she’s probably mentally putting together the kid’s names with your last name. That would be something I would have done. )

What would happen if you just asked her out on a date - i.e. “would you like to have dinner Saturday night” kind of thing? What would happen?

 

[Belgarion]

I think she was fishing - in a “if I have kids with this guy what would we name them?” way. That’s how I took it. Of course I don’t have her tone/body language to confirm that, but that’s my feeling. (And if she’s a sappy romantic like me and my assessment is correct, she’s probably mentally putting together the kid’s names with your last name. That would be something I would have done. )

HA!
SEE!
THAT’s what I’m talking about!
I hadn’t thought about that!
I’ll have to go through the names she told me and see…

Hmm…She likes the A&E version of “Pride and Prejudice”…just like me …I think she’s a romantic

What would happen if you just asked her out on a date - i.e. “would you like to have dinner Saturday night” kind of thing? What would happen?

Well, the two most likely scenarios would be:
I’d either be thrown into a feiry pit…
or
I’d be told “Not yet” by her or her dad. (Related to this is the “Let me ask my dad”)

The EXTREMELY unlike scenario would be positive, where she’d agree, or she’d just want to talk about it.

Thank you for posting. Women are good at this kind of thing…not to say Chev isn’t…there’s just a different perspective there.

 

[Jay53]

HA!
SEE!
THAT’s what I’m talking about!
I hadn’t thought about that!
I’ll have to go through the names she told me and see…

Hmm…She likes the A&E version of “Pride and Prejudice”…just like me …I think she’s a romantic

Well, the two most likely scenarios would be:
I’d either be thrown into a feiry pit…
or
I’d be told “Not yet” by her or her dad. (Related to this is the “Let me ask my dad”)

The EXTREMELY unlike scenario would be positive, where she’d agree, or she’d just want to talk about it.

Thank you for posting. Women are good at this kind of thing…not to say Chev isn’t…there’s just a different perspective there.

No problem. Any time! I actually love that kind of stuff. I like to think I’m pretty good at picking up the vibes between people. (Although not for myself - I had no idea my husband was interested in me at first. ) It’s obviously a little more difficult online.

At her age (19-20?) she shouldn’t have to say “Let me ask my Dad”. No offense, but that sounds really immature or controlled - she should be able to say yes or no. If she was 15-16 years old then OK, that’s more reasonable.

Good luck! And keep us posted! Although how will we know if you get thrown in the fiery pit?

 

[Belgarion]

No problem. Any time! I actually love that kind of stuff. I like to think I’m pretty good at picking up the vibes between people. (Although not for myself - I had no idea my husband was interested in me at first. ) It’s obviously a little more difficult online.

Yes, I agree!
And trust me, it was hard to tell for me, as well…
My grandparents and EVERYONE else saw it, but I didn’t until it was pointed out.
I can imagine how hard it is to only HEAR about these things and not see them! But don’t worry, I know she likes me…I just wanted to know what motivated her to ask me that question.

At her age (19-20?) she shouldn’t have to say “Let me ask my Dad”. No offense, but that sounds really immature or controlled - she should be able to say yes or no. If she was 15-16 years old then OK, that’s more reasonable.

No kidding.
I think it may be a combination of both.
Or rather, a lack of independence.
For now, at least. I think she’s changing and growing for the better in that respect.

Good luck! And keep us posted! Although how will we know if you get thrown in the fiery pit?

…good point…
I’ll leave a timer running…and if I don’t refresh/update it within a certain period of time…it’ll automatically post the following:
“I have been thrown into a feiry pit…don’t wait up”

 

[Jay53]

…good point…
I’ll leave a timer running…and if I don’t refresh/update it within a certain period of time…it’ll automatically post the following:
“I have been thrown into a feiry pit…don’t wait up”

You’re a funny guy! I hope she appreciates you! And if she’s not “the one” I’m sure you will find someone special.

 

[Belgarion]

You’re a funny guy! I hope she appreciates you! And if she’s not “the one” I’m sure you will find someone special.

Why thank you! :blushing:

I hope she does (and am pretty sure she does) appreciate my humor! She’s kinda goofy, too! And even though, yes, she may not be “the one”, I at least know what kind of person I want to BE the one.

 

[chevalier]

Wow, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Believe me, I’ve been trying for like ten minutes now…nothing…

:tiphat:

…What?!

Just don’t move for now… You will not feel a need to when I’m done injecting this…

I suppose.
I’m no celebrity.

A last name is a bit of branding. Or it may provide a stronger identification. The point is almost no one normally uses them.

But trust me…This “little birdy” needed the specification.
I can be more specific elsewhere…but you know what they say. “The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes…the artichokes have hearts, too.”

Just don’t get too sneaky. Remember real men speak and act openly.

… And apologise later.

…Ok, “They” don’t say that…I do…its usually followed by confused looks.

Eh?

You can’t exactly marry if you’re a weirdo, so be careful.

How are you sure that she is not caught in my web?

Trust me I am.

 

[chevalier]

Too bad.

At times she would look utterly indifferent. Who knows. I’m not sure I’d want to go through that kind of thing anyway since I barely know her, so one can’t really talk about a pressing cause. In all honesty, while it’s been two years since my last break-up, that last girlfriend was one of my best friends, the supposed Miss Final etc, and even though I could roll my eyes at some of it now, it’s not out of my blood yet. And I need to finish get or two old flames that leave a minuscule level of regret in me before I’m entirely free. Also a merely psychological thing that doesn’t trouble me at all on the intellectual level, but things like this had generally better be solved before troubling further women with your company.

That would have been a funny story…I mean, she HAD to have been thinking something…You should have put the moves on her man! She can’t withstand that!

Well, I did blatantly give her chocolate covered prunes at work and say I wasn’t taking any returns. Which made her rather enthusiastic.

I need to get you over here then… lol

Hah. Once a doctor of law I know, who’s dabbling with psychology, has caught me subconsciously using interrogation techniques in conversation.

I was going to update the thread’s title…(but I don’t know how, it won’t let me edit the first post)…maybe it’ll help get women in here…I’m very subtle.

Oh yes, especially when you say, “get women in here.”

…What?!? lol

Nothing. Sighs Nothing.

Thank you for posting. Women are good at this kind of thing…not to say Chev isn’t…there’s just a different perspective there.

Let’s face it. Everyone except you figured out it she was thinking of you in a very specific context. But don’t worry. I was worse when I was your age. Some of my old flames never officially moved past friends.

 

[Belgarion]

Just don’t move for now… You will not feel a need to when I’m done injecting this…

…

A last name is a bit of branding. Or it may provide a stronger identification. The point is almost no one normally uses them.

It was a stronger use of identification in this case.

Just don’t get too sneaky. Remember real men speak and act openly.

I’m sneaky…but in a good way lol

… And apologise later.

…I’ll have to remember that,

You can’t exactly marry if you’re a weirdo, so be careful.

I know I’m a weirdo. But the good thing is that she’s a weirdo, too.
Heck YEAH she’s a weirdo. I love it.

Trust me I am.

Drat…but I was the one with the sneaky and evil plans!!

At times she would look utterly indifferent. Who knows. I’m not sure I’d want to go through that kind of thing anyway since I barely know her, so one can’t really talk about a pressing cause. In all honesty, while it’s been two years since my last break-up, that last girlfriend was one of my best friends, the supposed Miss Final etc, and even though I could roll my eyes at some of it now, it’s not out of my blood yet. And I need to finish get or two old flames that leave a minuscule level of regret in me before I’m entirely free. Also a merely psychological thing that doesn’t trouble me at all on the intellectual level, but things like this had generally better be solved before troubling further women with your company.

…so you aren’t ready?

Well, I did blatantly give her chocolate covered prunes at work and say I wasn’t taking any returns. Which made her rather enthusiastic.

…
Prunes? Really?

Hah. Once a doctor of law I know, who’s dabbling with psychology, has caught me subconsciously using interrogation techniques in conversation.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s a BAD thing…lol

Oh yes, especially when you say, “get women in here.”

Of course. I did that intentionally. In fact, I was going to alter the thread title by adding “UPDATED: NEED WOMEN IN HERE!”

Nothing. Sighs Nothing.

Drat…I need to learn those interrogation techniques

Let’s face it. Everyone except you figured out it she was thinking of you in a very specific context. But don’t worry. I was worse when I was your age. Some of my old flames never officially moved past friends.

Hey hey!!
I knew she had a motive for doing it…but I did NOT want to mistakenly assume something…Of course, this mostly applied to you guys and my friends…I HAD to try to figure it out here at home.
Just ask my family. I bugged my mom forever coming up with a theory on this young woman’s readiness and what her question really implied.
But of course I didn’t get that she may have been matching up names…
I guess I guessed her motive, but not her reasons…if that makes sense

 

[Traddy]

Hi,

I have a girlfriend but haven’t met her yet (we talk all the time on the phone), and we have known each other since July.

I want to say I love her, but we are meeting in May. She drops hints all the time that she loves me and that she wants me to say it. Should I call her up and say it? because I do love her and we are so close.

 

[Belgarion]

Hi,

I have a girlfriend but haven’t met her yet (we talk all the time on the phone), and we have known each other since July.

I want to say I love her, but we are meeting in May. She drops hints all the time that she loves me and that she wants me to say it. Should I call her up and say it? because I do love her and we are so close.

Well, if you’re sure…

But I’ll tell you, being absolutely sure is the best thing.
I’ve told a girl “I love you” when I felt like I meant it, but realized (After she broke it off) that although it was logical for me to have feelings for her, it was illogical to tell her that when I wasn’t sure.

 

[chevalier]

I’m sneaky…but in a good way lol

Good ways turn into bad ways.

I know I’m a weirdo. But the good thing is that she’s a weirdo, too.
Heck YEAH she’s a weirdo. I love it.

And then she will come to this forum and start a topic titled, “HALP!!!11oneonesix My d00d is a l00n!” Upon which I’ll have to reply, “Well, you knew before you married him.”

…so you aren’t ready?

In a way yes, in a way no. It’s like sometimes you’re practically healthy, but your recovery hasn’t finished yet. I’m somewhere there.

…
Prunes? Really?

Yup. Chocolate covered prunes.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s a BAD thing…lol

Tell that to the first paranoid feminist you meet, with my respects.

Of course. I did that intentionally. In fact, I was going to alter the thread title by adding “UPDATED: NEED WOMEN IN HERE!”

Very subtle indeed.

Hey hey!!
I knew she had a motive for doing it…but I did NOT want to mistakenly assume something…Of course, this mostly applied to you guys and my friends…I HAD to try to figure it out here at home.
Just ask my family. I bugged my mom forever coming up with a theory on this young woman’s readiness and what her question really implied.
But of course I didn’t get that she may have been matching up names…
I guess I guessed her motive, but not her reasons…if that makes sense

I thought she was either sending you signals or starting to get used to thoughts about a future with you. Didn’t come up with the names.

You know, if you want a son called Patrick Sean and she wants a son called Patrick Sean, chances are you both want the same son.

 

[chevalier]

Hi,

I have a girlfriend but haven’t met her yet (we talk all the time on the phone), and we have known each other since July.

I want to say I love her, but we are meeting in May. She drops hints all the time that she loves me and that she wants me to say it. Should I call her up and say it? because I do love her and we are so close.

I will reply with a question, so pardon me. But why are you wondering? Are you not sure you love her? Are you not sure if you should let her know it? Or is there something else?

 

[Jay53]

Belgarion But of course I didn’t get that she may have been matching up names…
I guess I guessed her motive, but not her reasons…if that makes sense

Just FYI, too, if she is serious about you, she’s probably already matched up your two names:

Mrs. Ryan (your last name)
(Her first name) (Your last name)
Mrs. (Her first Name) (Your last name)

Just silly stuff that girls do when they’re in love.

 

[Belgarion]

Good ways turn into bad ways.

I think my sneakyness will just aid me in any surprises that I may plan for her in the future…

And then she will come to this forum and start a topic titled, “HALP!!!11oneonesix My d00d is a l00n!” Upon which I’ll have to reply, “Well, you knew before you married him.”

…This is true…
Both me being a loon, AND her knowing…

In a way yes, in a way no. It’s like sometimes you’re practically healthy, but your recovery hasn’t finished yet. I’m somewhere there.

Ah, I see.
I had surgery on my knee once, and even though it was healed and painless, I didn’t want to walk on it.

Yup. Chocolate covered prunes.

Well, I suppose the chocolate and the prunes cancelled each other out…

Tell that to the first paranoid feminist you meet, with my respects.

Oh boy…Better wear kevlar for that one

Very subtle indeed.

Quite

I thought she was either sending you signals or starting to get used to thoughts about a future with you. Didn’t come up with the names.

well…I had considered asking her a question that was…well…not FORWARD, but perhaps hinting. I decided against it…but obviously she didn’t.

You know, if you want a son called Patrick Sean and she wants a son called Patrick Sean, chances are you both want the same son.

Hmm…But I don’t think we agreed on any names exactly. But we liked each other’s list of names.

Just FYI, too, if she is serious about you, she’s probably already matched up your two names:

Mrs. Ryan (your last name)
(Her first name) (Your last name)
Mrs. (Her first Name) (Your last name)

Just silly stuff that girls do when they’re in love.

…

…umm…Are women the only ones allowed to do that…?
Because i’ve done it before, too…:blushing:

 

[Jay53]

…

…umm…Are women the only ones allowed to do that…?
Because i’ve done it before, too…:blushing:

How sweet! You are just adorable!
I had no idea guys did that stuff too! Now I’ll have to ask my husband if he did. Although, knowing him, his reaction will be:
:ehh: (with the one raised eyebrow and everything. )

 

[Belgarion]

How sweet! You are just adorable!
I had no idea guys did that stuff too! Now I’ll have to ask my husband if he did. Although, knowing him, his reaction will be:
:ehh: (with the one raised eyebrow and everything. )

:blushing:
My face is going to turn red permanently and I’ll have to get a job as a stop-light!

Yes, yes…some guys do that, too. Maybe I’m just weird…
I have found that YES…her first name goes rather well with my last name…And wonderfully enough, so do all the names we like

I think your husband’s reaction would be quite funny!
I’ll bet he DID do that, though.