When do you think will be a good time?

[Viki63]

Traditionally, women wait 3 months, as OLHope says, to avoid the difficulty of explaining a miscarriage if one should occur. Some posters say to tell them ASAP, but that just gives people longer to give you a hard time, if that’s their tendency. A real live baby is hard to resist.
Another point . . .trying to think of how to say this. The best gift your fiance could give your new baby would be to marry you, and ensure a more stable family life for all of you. I know a lot of people don’t get married nowadays, and nobody thinks much of it. But when I see a couple who are unmarried and have children, I feel like it’s a sad lack of committment. Children deserve a mother and father. Marriage helps make that bond a little more secure,

Congratulations on your baby and God bless.

 

[LongingForLight]

I agree that there is no reason to tell people before 12 weeks unless (a) you want to and (b) you would want them to know if you miscarried. Personally, I tell my closest, most supportive friends and family members ASAP because I want their support if I miscarry, and wait to tell everyone else until 12 weeks.

I tell my boss at work as soon after 12 weeks as I have a game plan. For example, I waited a couple of extra weeks this time because I needed to do some math to figure out how much time I could take off, if I had FMLA leave, etc. That way, my boss didn’t have to worry about what would happen when the baby was born - we could form a plan as soon as he wanted to talk about it. I think he really appreciated that approach.

Note that I have a flexible-hours job where I could easily hide morning sickness by just going in a bit later. If illness from the pregnancy had impacted my ability to work, I would have told my boss sooner.

 

[maryjk]

Family - whenever you are ready. There is no reason to tell them if they aren’t going to be happy about it. Do be warned that once you tell one person, they may tell everyone else, even after you ask them not to tell. My MIL spent 2 hours on the phone calling people after we told her and asked her to keep it to herself. ( We were only telling our parents )

Work - at 12 weeks or after you have heard the heart beat. It shouldn’t take a company longer than 28 weeks to find a temp for you, so you can wait to tell them. Don’t worry about running to the bathroom. Just drink a lot of water. Isn’t it suppose to be good for you? And it makes you pee a lot.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Ok it’s official, my pregnancy is interfering with work! I have been absent longer than usual with any sickness I have ever had, flu, etc… I am up on 4 hours of sleep every day, I am exhausted and drained…Tried talking to doctor but they were unwilling, not unable, unwilling to help me…their advise- take all the time needed to rest your health and baby’s health is more important!" I have 3 kids and a job to keep! I even asked for a stronger prenatal pill, nothing…then they told me it’s because I am 30 at this age, I need extra rest etc etc etc…I was like I can’t take extra rest I have to WORK! Bills don’t pay themselves!!! So frustrating…I have never ending migraines, horrible sinus pressure, lack of sleep disorder-up every morning at 3-5 am, every morning, non stop!!! By the time it’s mid morning and mid afternoon I am crashing having jitters from coffee drinking or energy drinking but like I said I have been so absent I don’t have enough money to pay for things…

If this continues I will lose my job and I will not be able to have anything at all to pay bills and have for Christmas not even a good dinner…

I wanted to tell my boss today about the baby, but she’s on vacation… won’t be back till tuesday…

I hope I can make it at work and make enough hours to pay my bills…I asked fiance for help he’s more than willing but he doesn’t even make what I make…It’s going to be a tough time right now…

Family will have to wait a little longer…I have been cramping a lot and having a lot of back pain…A friend of mine whom was 1.5 weeks ahead of me pg had a miscarriage last week…I am terrified! Nothing but praying and asking GOD to please help us make it through this and have a healthy baby is what I have been doing…I am an emotional wreck…Never went through all this hormonal imbalance before! UGH! GOD HELP ME! I hope this is done and over with by the time January comes so I can get back to work without being a zombie and hurting my body so much with the lack of sleep!

Prayers are appreciated…thank you all for your support!

 

[kage_ar]

When talking to your work, do it in a professional way. No need to phrase it with a story or a why or that we never thought we would have kids or any of that.

Professional.

"Boss X,

This is to inform you that I am currently X weeks pregnant. I plan to continue to work until my due date or until advised otherwise by my physician.

Sincerely,

Your Name"

Tell your families AFTER you have worked out the details with your Priest re marriage.

 

[St_Francis]

Ok it’s official, my pregnancy is interfering with work! I have been absent longer than usual with any sickness I have ever had, flu, etc… I am up on 4 hours of sleep every day, I am exhausted and drained…

I know this may sound nuts, but I just had some bug which made me feel that exact same way–I am sooooo not a morning person, but I was waking between 4:30 and 5:30 every morning, I was sick, it was awful. My whole family was sick over the course of 5 weeks, really. Now we are better.

All to say, the way you feel, aside from the morning sickness, may not be related to your pregnancy.

Something that helped me get off caffeine, **with your doctor’s permission, **was to avoid carbs in the morning. Sounds completely cray, right? I was trying to do so all the time, but could only make it for a few hours in the morning, but it totally helped me with the caffeine as a sort of side-effect.

FWIW: I too would not tell anyone until I was further along, because I had had a couple of miscarriages. If you can present your family with the *wonderful news *of your impending marriage and pregnancy at the same time, then it will probably go over better, and if you two are already engaged, why not? But do check out the insurance ramifications (how sad that we have to do that nowadays!).

And have a good answer ready for when they start up. I would just say something like the more the merrier to people whom I didn’t know well, but if you can say something like, How can you say that about a blessing from God? in a somewhat light-hearted tone, she might back off. But definitely be *very positive *when you tell her. (My mother is a lot like your mother, so I really relate!)

 

[iluvmybabies]

When talking to your work, do it in a professional way. No need to phrase it with a story or a why or that we never thought we would have kids or any of that.

Professional.

"Boss X,

This is to inform you that I am currently X weeks pregnant. I plan to continue to work until my due date or until advised otherwise by my physician.

Sincerely,

Your Name"

Tell your families AFTER you have worked out the details with your Priest re marriage.

My boss and I are a bit more closer than that kind of boss…So I am wondering what other approach can I take…I will need to tell her this coming tuesday? thanks for your help!!!

 

[iluvmybabies]

I know this may sound nuts, but I just had some bug which made me feel that exact same way–I am sooooo not a morning person, but I was waking between 4:30 and 5:30 every morning, I was sick, it was awful. My whole family was sick over the course of 5 weeks, really. Now we are better.

All to say, the way you feel, aside from the morning sickness, may not be related to your pregnancy.

Something that helped me get off caffeine, **with your doctor’s permission, **was to avoid carbs in the morning. Sounds completely cray, right? I was trying to do so all the time, but could only make it for a few hours in the morning, but it totally helped me with the caffeine as a sort of side-effect.

FWIW: I too would not tell anyone until I was further along, because I had had a couple of miscarriages. If you can present your family with the *wonderful news *of your impending marriage and pregnancy at the same time, then it will probably go over better, and if you two are already engaged, why not? But do check out the insurance ramifications (how sad that we have to do that nowadays!).

And have a good answer ready for when they start up. I would just say something like the more the merrier to people whom I didn’t know well, but if you can say something like, How can you say that about a blessing from God? in a somewhat light-hearted tone, she might back off. But definitely be *very positive *when you tell her. (My mother is a lot like your mother, so I really relate!)

A bug? Like a cold or something??? Because I have been pretty stuffied up for the past month and a half always horrible sinus and migraine problems…It’s really weird and the lack of sleep is destroying me! I am not used to napping and I have to now, I literally pass out in the middle of the morning or day at home…It’s horrible! I force myself to eat it just drives me insane! And then I get over nauseated!!! I never went through the lack of energy the lack of strength, sleep loss-until after the baby was born, so this is all new to me esp the hormonal imbalance! MAN it drives me crazy!!!

I don’t understand what you mean by insurance thing?

And yeah since our priest is not willing to push up the date, I think we are just going to get legally married, at least it’s a step forward instead of backwards… We are hoping for February or March after I have the surgery the doctor needs me to have…Found out I have a cyst and he says it will complicate delivery if I don’t get it removed but he’s waiting till I am further along!!! GOD HELP US! So hopefully then it will help our priest move forward with our church and sacramental blessing…you know?!

Also I will wait till after Christmas to tell the family…it’s the best thing to do…I am in no mood to hear them bicker at me at all!

thanks everyone for your help and advise…

 

[kage_ar]

My boss and I are a bit more closer than that kind of boss…So I am wondering what other approach can I take…I will need to tell her this coming tuesday? thanks for your help!!!

Unless you work for a small “mom and pop” business, a written notice like that is the smartest thing to do. It will go in your personell file. You can then giggle and cry and jump and squeel with your direct supervisor when she gets the message.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Unless you work for a small “mom and pop” business, a written notice like that is the smartest thing to do. It will go in your personell file. You can then giggle and cry and jump and squeel with your direct supervisor when she gets the message.

I don’t understand what do you mean what will go into a personell file? Because she’s the only one I can direct my messages to? So you mean write to the corporate office and then tell my boss? I have never had to do that…so that’s why I am asking…thanks again for your help!

 

[kage_ar]

I don’t understand what do you mean what will go into a personell file? Because she’s the only one I can direct my messages to? So you mean write to the corporate office and then tell my boss? I have never had to do that…so that’s why I am asking…thanks again for your help!

You either type this letter and print it out and hand it to your boss OR you email it to your boss. Your boss will then send it on to HR.