When Does a Civil Marraige Need Convalidation?

[firead]

My husband and I were both raised Protestant, baptized when we were pre-teens, and were out of church and did not consider our-self Christians at the time we were married. We had a civil marriage only. Now, 10+ years down the road, I am converting to Catholicism. My husband is now personally opposed to Catholicism and any form of Christianity, but he is allowing this and is even OK with me taking our son to Mass and raising him Catholic.

Does our marriage need to be convalidated? I asked my pastor this months ago and he said not to worry about it, but I have heard that it may be necessary since then, and want to bring it up before Easter if I need to (I don’t want to bug him or second-guess him, but want to be sure he realizes it is a civil marriage and we were not married in a church).

Also, there are some personal things going on that make me wonder if my marriage will last. I hope that it will, but my husband is dealing with some issues and goes back and forth between being OK with a normal marriage, wanting things that are not compatible with marriage, and talking about leaving. I would not consent to marrying him if I was making the choice now, knowing what I’ve found out over the past few years, so convalidation wouldn’t feel totally right.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Since neither you nor your husband were Catholic at the time of your marriage you weren’t bound by Catholic marriage law. Therefore the assumption is – assuming this is the first marriage for both of you – you are validly married. You don’t need to do anything further.

 

[1ke]

When Does a Civil Marraige Need Convalidation?

When it involves one party who is a Catholic, who did not receive a dispensation from form beforehand, or two Catholics who ignored Catholic form.

Does our marriage need to be convalidated?

No.

it is a civil marriage and we were not married in a church).

It is a valid marriage. There is no requirement to be married in a church. Protestants have no required form of marriage.

I would not consent to marrying him if I was making the choice now, knowing what I’ve found out over the past few years, so convalidation wouldn’t feel totally right.

Your marriage is already a valid one, presuming there are no prior marriages involving either of you.

 

[phil19034]

While I agree with what others have said, it doesn’t mean that you cannot receive one.

If you husband doesn’t want to receive a convalidation, you could receive a radical sanation.

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would like the Church to officially recognize my marriage because I personally do not view civil marriages as real marriages (but this is just my personal view, not the position of the Church in regards to your situation).

God Bless.

 

[tee_eff_em]

While I agree with what others have said, it doesn’t mean that you cannot receive one.

If you husband doesn’t want to receive a convalidation, you could receive a radical sanation.

While I Am Not A Canon Lawyer, I suspect that this is not the case. The canons dealing with convalidation and radical sanation mention only cases involving *invalid *marriages, which case is not what the OP describes.

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would like the Church to officially recognize my marriage …

Which in such a case, as you note, the Church does.

tee

 

[phil19034]

While I Am Not A Canon Lawyer, I suspect that this is not the case. The canons dealing with convalidation and radical sanation mention only cases involving *invalid *marriages, which case is not what the OP describes.

Which in such a case, as you note, the Church does.

tee

Then there would be no need to worry in the slightest

But a priest can always “renew” vows too

God Bless

 

[1ke]

it doesn’t mean that you cannot receive one.

Yes, it does.

One cannot convalidate or sanate an already valid marriage.

If you husband doesn’t want to receive a convalidation, you could receive a radical sanation.

A valid marriage cannot be sanated.

I would like the Church to officially recognize my marriage

It already does.

because I personally do not view civil marriages as real marriages (but this is just my personal view, not the position of the Church in regards to your situation).

I would encourage you to adjust your “personal view” to bring it into conformity with reality-- the Church teaches us the truth about marriage, including which ones are valid and invalid.

Civil marriages certainly are real marriages. The Church would not teach this if it were not true.

 

[firead]

Thanks. Now I feel better about this.

A friend of mine who is a cradle Catholic had me sort of freaked out because she said she wasn’t sure if a civil marriage “counted”. I was going to ask my RCIA director on Wednesday, but felt bad about waiting so late and then getting all worried.

I guess I’m just excited and a little anxious about joining the church finally, and I wanted to make sure nothing would come up at the last minute.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Your excitement is understandable! Prayers and best wishes as the time gets closer.

 

[Vico]

…

my husband is dealing with some issues and goes back and forth between being OK with a normal marriage, wanting things that are not compatible with marriage, and talking about leaving. I would not consent to marrying him if I was making the choice now, knowing what I’ve found out over the past few years, so convalidation wouldn’t feel totally right.

A marriage between a Catholic and another Christian is a sacrament; all marriages between baptized Christians are sacraments,* as long as there are no undispensed impediments*. There cannot be invalid consent! If there is an intention to divorce, then it could be that consent was *never *valid (matrimony is lifelong, exclusive, and granting conjugal act when moral and humane). Some Christians have the view that marriage is not perpetual. Can you settle this before becoming Catholic?

 

[felsguy]

A marriage between a Catholic and another Christian is a sacrament; all marriages between baptized Christians are sacraments,* as long as there are no undispensed impediments*. There cannot be invalid consent! If there is an intention to divorce, then it could be that consent was *never *valid (matrimony is lifelong, exclusive, and granting conjugal act when moral and humane). Some Christians have the view that marriage is not perpetual. Can you settle this before becoming Catholic?

After reading this a couple of times, I see and agree with what you are saying. I’m wondering though if a little restatement might help avoid any misunderstanding by someone unfamiliar with the discussion, such as:

“A marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic is a sacrament as long as there are no undispensed impediments”

“A marriage between two baptized non-Catholics is a sacrament as long as there are no undispensed impediments.”

 

[phil19034]

Yes, it does.

One cannot convalidate or sanate an already valid marriage.

A valid marriage cannot be sanated.

It already does.

I would encourage you to adjust your “personal view” to bring it into conformity with reality-- the Church teaches us the truth about marriage, including which ones are valid and invalid.

Civil marriages certainly are real marriages. The Church would not teach this if it were not true.

Thank you for correcting me. Question though, what is it called when a priest renews the vows of a married couple? A priest did this for my Grandparents a year ago (it was the priest’s idea). It was done at a small Chapel, where they were married over 60 years ago.

 

[phil19034]

Yes, it does.

One cannot convalidate or sanate an already valid marriage.

A valid marriage cannot be sanated.

It already does.

I would encourage you to adjust your “personal view” to bring it into conformity with reality-- the Church teaches us the truth about marriage, including which ones are valid and invalid.

Civil marriages certainly are real marriages. The Church would not teach this if it were not true.

Thank you for correcting me. Question though, what is it called when a priest renews the vows of a married couple? A priest did this for my Grandparents a year ago (it was the priest’s idea). It was done at a small Chapel, where they were married over 60 years ago.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Thank you for correcting me. Question though, what is it called when a priest renews the vows of a married couple? A priest did this for my Grandparents a year ago (it was the priest’s idea). It was done at a small Chapel, where they were married over 60 years ago.

A renewal of vows.

The difference is that a convalidation is an honest-to-goodness wedding. A couple that wasn’t married beforehand is now married.

Renewing wedding vows is a remembrance of what happened years ago, but it doesn’t create a marriage where one did not exist.

 

[phil19034]

A renewal of vows.

The difference is that a convalidation is an honest-to-goodness wedding. A couple that wasn’t married beforehand is now married.

Renewing wedding vows is a remembrance of what happened years ago, but it doesn’t create a marriage where one did not exist.

Thanks! I actually thought that the renewal of vows was a form of convalidation. Thanks for the clarification.