When does a marriage end?

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Whitney

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In your view, when does marriage end?
    1. Marriage ends at death, infinite remarriages after spousal death are permitted and encouraged
    1. Marriage ends at death, remarriages are allowed but may be discouraged
    1. Marriage does not end at death, but remarriage is permitted
    1. Marriage does not end at death and remarriages should be approved by the bishop and are discouraged
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I struggle with the view that marriage after a spouse’s death could be sinful and that the remarriage ceremony is a penitential one. What are your views on this?
 
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Whitney said:
I struggle with the view that marriage after a spouse’s death could be sinful and that the remarriage ceremony is a pennitential one. What are your views on this?
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There is nothing sinful about getting married again after a spouse’s death .

I have never heard of a penitential marriage . It sounds daft to me .
 
Whitney said:
I struggle with the view that marriage after a spouse’s death could be sinful and that the remarriage ceremony is a penitential one. What are your views on this?
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Remarriage after the death of a spouse is not sinful in any way. St. John Chrysostom and St. Thomas Aquinas addressed this early in Church history. As for remarriage being penitential, I’ve never heard of that and agree with @Rob2’s assessment.
 
Whitney said:
I struggle with the view that marriage after a spouse’s death could be sinful and that the remarriage ceremony is a penitential one. What are your views on this?
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Where did that idea come from? I’ve never heard either part of that.
 
angel12 said:
Where did that idea come from? I’ve never heard either part of that.
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In the Eastern Orthodox Church as well as I would assume (?) eastern Catholic Churches remarriage after the death of a spouse is allowed only if approved by the Bishop.
 
Re-marriage after death is fine. I think that in today’s world, if a person can find someone to love and marry after the death of a beloved spouse, that’s wonderful! The world is a lonely and scary place, and it’s good to have someone to cuddle.

My dad (R.I.P.) believed that once someone was married, they were married forever, even after death. After my mother died (he was only 70 and hale/hearty/handsome), many women tried to attract him, but he would have none of it because he believed that he was still married to my mother.

I have no idea where he got that doctrine. I’ve been involved with many different Protestant denominations for the 47 years before I converted to Catholicism, but I never heard that doctrine. I would be interested if someone on this thread can track down the origin of this belief.
 
Whitney said:
I struggle with the view that marriage after a spouse’s death could be sinful and that the remarriage ceremony is a penitential one. What are your views on this?
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Where are you getting this? You are likely struggling because the position is not correct.

While a widow or widower may have a lower key wedding to their new spouse out of respect for friends and family who are still greiving, there is nothing sinful about the marriage itself.
 
If you are speaking of the Eastern Orthodox churches, your options for answers in the original poll make more sense to me. I would like to hear from anyone well versed in the teachings of the Eastern Orthodox view of marriage.
 
Whitney said:
In the Eastern Orthodox Church as well as I would assume (?) eastern Catholic Churches remarriage after the death of a spouse is allowed only if approved by the Bishop.
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Not really.

The Orthodox Christian tradition encourages widows and widowers to remain faithful to their spouses who are dead to this world but alive in Christ. Yet Dumitru Staniloae says, “However, in the case of the death of one of the two spouses, the other is admitted to a second marriage without any ecclesiastical process of divorce, because the marriage is considered to no longer exist (Rom 7:2).”[[2]](Marriage - OrthodoxWiki)
Source:
Marriage - OrthodoxWiki
 
I think it would be hard for the surviving spouse to see herself/himself as “single” after being married for some 40-50-60 years. My grandmothers never married after my grandparents died and I don’t think it never crossed their minds that they could. They had friends who were male but remained as friends. My grannies were widows for 25 and 30 years.
 
Yes. Considering EO accepts divorces I don’t see why would she bind surviving spouses to not remarry. However my grandparents did not remarry after the death of their spouses. But in other circumstances, people today probably would, especially if they are young widows or widowers and have children who need a second parent.
Today I think Pat. Bartholomew said widowed priests can remarry too after the period of mourning has ended (one year is minimum, but I don’t know the exact number of years). Or he proposed the change of rules regarding this because he cannot just impose a rule himself. Currently married priests cannot remarry after divorce or death of the spouse.
 
The Catholic marriage vows end with “Till Death Do Us Part”. When your spouse dies, the marriage ends.

I was married in the Catholic church. The day I heard my husband died, I took the ring off because I was no longer married. I love him, I miss him, I hope to see him again one day, but according to Church law as well as civil law, I am no longer married. if I walked into the priest’s office with a new fiance tomorrow, I would be considered perfectly free to marry. It is not sinful to remarry, it is not discouraged, and the Church is fine with it, assuming the widow is not a Catholic deacon or a Catholic married priest, both of whom are not permitted by their vows to remarry.

It is also okay for a person to choose to not remarry because they don’t want to for some reason, but it’s their choice, not because the Church frowns on it or because it is sinful in any way to remarry.

My impression from your question is that you may be scrupulous and I would advise that you talk to your priest.

P.S. I have no idea what the Eastern Orthodox do; since neither I nor my spouse was Eastern Orthodox, it’s irrelevant to me, and I follow my own true faith, Catholicism, without regard for the practices of other faiths. FWIW, my husband was baptized Presbyterian although we were married in the Catholic Church; the Presbyterians also believe marriage ends at death and the surviving spouse is free to marry again and none of this “penitential” stuff applies.
 
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Peeps said:
My dad (R.I.P.) believed that once someone was married, they were married forever, even after death. After my mother died (he was only 70 and hale/hearty/handsome), many women tried to attract him, but he would have none of it because he believed that he was still married to my mother.

I have no idea where he got that doctrine.
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This sounds like it was a personal belief of your dad, and it is fine, it’s his choice. The only faith that I know of that has such a doctrine would be LDS if the marriage is sealed in their temple, but even they permit the surviving spouse to marry again on earth; it’s just that in the afterlife the person will be the spouse of the person they were sealed to.

My mother and dad were Catholics, married in the Catholic Church, and my mother said the exact same thing after he died - she considered herself still married to Dad. Men were interested in my mother but she rejected all their overtures as she was not interested in having another relationship after dad died. The Church would have permitted her to date and remarry and would not have frowned on it, she just didn’t want to. Similarly, I am widowed and am not in a hurry to date anyone else and would really rather not. I just don’t express it in terms of “I’m still married to DH”.
 
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Marriage ends at death. A subsequent marriage may be entered, that is left to the people do decide.

I did once read that in happy marriages at the death of a spouse, men tend to marry again soon because marriage was a happy, good thing for them. Women tend to wait much longer, and often never remarry because of the happiness of that first marriage.
 
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The first answer is the most correct, but I would quibble with “encouraged.” It is neither encouraged nor discouraged–it depends on what is best for each individual person.

For example, remaining unmarried might be said to be encouraged for some in as much as it can be a kind of vocation for those called to it. St. Ambrose discusses this here:

http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3408.htm
 
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I agree. I would only say “encouraged” to the extent that if widows want to remarry, the priest will be happy for you (assuming you’re marrying someone of the opposite gender who’s free to marry in the Church). They don’t push people to remarry.
 
Whitney said:
the remarriage ceremony is a penitential
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Remarriage after a former spouse passed away is a joyful ceremony, not a penitential one.

But after spending over 16 yrs as an Orthodox Christian, there are Penitential Marriages after an Ecclesiastical Divorce. But that’s only in the Orthodox Church.
 
Wife.of.Gabriel said:
Lol yup that’s my number one rule with my husband… he’s Not allowed to die.
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Ahh, that is an option I didn’t consider!

I was referring to either marrying Jesus personally or marrying the Holy Spirit through, with, and in somebody!
 
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