When does lustful temptation cross to mortal sin?

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mikez635

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I have recently returned to the church and during that time I was away I sinned A LOT with regards to lustful thoughts, pornography, fornication, and adultery. I have confessed all these sins, and have asked for God’s grace to help overcome the addiction of sort or rather these of which these thoughts enter my head.
I have struggled long and hard, and God is working in me to transform me. I now often just look the other way or focus on something else if there is a good looking woman walking down the street or whatever, or if something triggers a past sexual situation I recite the Lord’s prayer or just blank my mind to think of something else. After living in a sinful lifestyle for so long, the evil doesn’t want to leave me without a fight.
I guess I feel like now that I may be getting scrupulous of sorts. There are lots of temptations thrown at me, and even when a temptation enters my head I wonder did I think about it for a second too long, do I need to go to confession?
So I am needing practical application when a temptation becomes a mortal sin… i.e. needing to go to confession before receiving communion?
 
mikez635 said:
I have recently returned to the church and during that time I was away I sinned A LOT with regards to lustful thoughts, pornography, fornication, and adultery. I have confessed all these sins, and have asked for God’s grace to help overcome the addiction of sort or rather these of which these thoughts enter my head.
I have struggled long and hard, and God is working in me to transform me. I now often just look the other way or focus on something else if there is a good looking woman walking down the street or whatever, or if something triggers a past sexual situation I recite the Lord’s prayer or just blank my mind to think of something else. After living in a sinful lifestyle for so long, the evil doesn’t want to leave me without a fight.
I guess I feel like now that I may be getting scrupulous of sorts. There are lots of temptations thrown at me, and even when a temptation enters my head I wonder did I think about it for a second too long, do I need to go to confession?
So I am needing practical application when a temptation becomes a mortal sin… i.e. needing to go to confession before receiving communion?
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When there is full knowledge and complete consent (since lust is a grave matter).

Do not confuse temptation with sin.

Also you will need to learn to relax…and not STRESS about seeing beautiful women…by stressing and trying too hard not to have thoughts etc…the way our minds etc are…it will cause more trouble…so relax more …find the right middle ground in time…
healing may take a bit…and you will feel head shy perhaps…but try not stress about it…

temptations can be very strong…and still no consent…not sin. But even virtue.
 
Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

…and when uninvited thoughts happen …

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them…concentrates on not having them…can bring them unwasted…to the mind…

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …
 
What about if someone is chatting online, not sex-ting, but still maybe a litttle flirting with someone other than their spouse? Not intending for it to go anywhere… and then after a little bit realizes it is wrong and stops?
 
mikez635 said:
What about if someone is chatting online, not sex-ting, but still maybe a litttle flirting with someone other than their spouse? Not intending for it to go anywhere… and then after a little bit realizes it is wrong and stops?
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If as soon as one realizes what is going on…they stop…then there may not have been any sin…

But they should now “knowing it is wrong” resolve to avoid such in the future…avoid anything sinful…

and take reasonable care …(and sometimes very radical steps) so they are faithful to their spouse…

And as for near occasions…each person has to judge what may be a near occasion for them…though of course somethings are near occasions for most…and are obvious …

of course also one should not scruple either…for remember…particularly when one is in the presence of some attractive person…well one will “be attracted” …(and maybe one will be naturally a bit more funny…or pleasant…I do not think this is necessarily a problem…it would depend I think somewhat on intention etc…one can check with ones confessor about particulars) so do not scruple there…but take care …use the virtue of prudence…in ones interactions…reasonable and prudent guardedness…
 
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