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DL82
Guest
I was watching something, began to become aware that it was a near occasion of sin for me, but kept watching until I actually started to feel that it was doing bad things, before immediately switching off. The content wasn’t objectively immoral (not pornography) just something that pushes my buttons, so to speak. I can’t say for certain whether I kept watching for the immoral content or just because I normally like the show, and find it funny, and it doesn’t normally have this particular theme in it which pushes the wrong buttons for me. I’m not sure I can say any more than that. I know I sinned, was it mortal?
I feel ill and dirty. Even though I didn’t even get aroused, I have the same feeling I used to get after sexual sins which I have long(ish >1yr) been clean of. The devil always seems to tempt me to a fall late on a Saturday, to try to keep me from Holy Communion on Sunday, so I want to be absolutely certain about the state of my soul as soon as possible.
Because it’s not something objective, a common sin, like pornography, but a personal ‘issue’ from my past, it’s hard to find an examination of conscience that helps me clarify the issue. Any advice would be most welcome.
PS, can also be scrupulous at times, but something tells me this isn’t one of those times.
PPS, also know what the 3 conditions for mortal sin are, am still in a bit of a confused state. As far as I can tell:
I feel ill and dirty. Even though I didn’t even get aroused, I have the same feeling I used to get after sexual sins which I have long(ish >1yr) been clean of. The devil always seems to tempt me to a fall late on a Saturday, to try to keep me from Holy Communion on Sunday, so I want to be absolutely certain about the state of my soul as soon as possible.
Because it’s not something objective, a common sin, like pornography, but a personal ‘issue’ from my past, it’s hard to find an examination of conscience that helps me clarify the issue. Any advice would be most welcome.
PS, can also be scrupulous at times, but something tells me this isn’t one of those times.
PPS, also know what the 3 conditions for mortal sin are, am still in a bit of a confused state. As far as I can tell:
- grave matter - if I were to wilfully look for the things I saw on TV, it would be grave matter
- full knowledge - I didn’t know before I watched the show that it would have this content, but I knew a good 2 mins before I switched it off that it was likely, and knew enough to feel nervous about it
- consent of the will - hmm, that’s the tricky part. I told myself I should probably switch off about 2 mins before I did. I don’t know whether that is consent or not?