When every choice seems wrong

[DarkLight]

What do you do when every possible choice you can take seems wrong? Or, what do you do when taking care of yourself always seems to involve sinning?

I struggle with health problems that include heavy fatigue. The fatigue can come on very suddenly, so I can go from fine to utterly exhausted within maybe a half-hour. Often by the time I notice it coming on there’s nothing I can do to stop it. The fatigue is very bad and can keep me from doing basic things like fixing and eating food.

So often I’ll have responsibilities a, b, c, d, and e. I know if I try to do all of them, I’ll exhaust myself and possibly lead to more health problems. I don’t know if I can do three or just one. I don’t know where I need to take breaks to avoid further problems.

I don’t like not doing what I ought. It seems lazy to sit down and goof off when I have responsibilities I could at that moment be doing, and that otherwise won’t get done. But it also seems wrong to intentionally take actions risking damage to my health. What do I do?

 

[MaryAnna1]

One doesn’t take care of oneself by sinning. Do the good that you are capable of and God will take care of the rest.

 

[maryjk]

So often I’ll have responsibilities a, b, c, d, and e. I know if I try to do all of them, I’ll exhaust myself and possibly lead to more health problems. I don’t know if I can do three or just one. I don’t know where I need to take breaks to avoid further problems.

Is there a way to figure out when you might need to take a break? Any warning signs? Past knowledge? Anything?

I know where you are coming from. I have Lupus. Sometimes, I end up taking an hour (or two) nap at 7PM.

The way I explain it to others is similar to the way this woman did. In fact, I printed out numerous copies of this and passed them out to friends. When I get tired and have to stop, I tell them that I am out of spoons. Maybe this will help you. I suggest you read the whole thing, but here is a snippet.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

If you would truly harm yourself, like I would, if you continue, then you are not being lazy. Take the rest your body demands, then move on to your next task.

 

[DarkLight]

I’m familiar with spoon theory, yes. The best way I can put it…part of what I deal with is being easily triggered by things. So I may start the day with a full number if spoons, but I’m very sensitive to the sort of normal randomness of life. So simple things like misplaced keys end up costing waaaay more spoons than they should. And of course my brain’s screaming at me the whole time. You can’t even put one thing in the same place reliably, you’re just a stupid kid who can’t even clean her room. Lazy, useless, you’ll never get anywhere if you can’t do this one thing right. It’s silly but it’s very hard to stop things from going from 1 to 100 quickly. I’m working on it, but

And the fatigue is quite deep when it hits. I have to be sure there’s always food than doesn’t require preparation because I can’t fix so much as pasta. Thank God for food stamps letti g me actually afford sandwhich meat regularly!

 

[DarkLight]

And stupid device posted too soon. In any case, it’s not just the fatigue, but with a mental health issues my brain is always feeding me “you can’t do that” and “how could you not do that” and all sorts of things.

 

[ready]

What do you do when every possible choice you can take seems wrong? Or, what do you do when taking care of yourself always seems to involve sinning?

I struggle with health problems that include heavy fatigue. The fatigue can come on very suddenly, so I can go from fine to utterly exhausted within maybe a half-hour. Often by the time I notice it coming on there’s nothing I can do to stop it. The fatigue is very bad and can keep me from doing basic things like fixing and eating food.

So often I’ll have responsibilities a, b, c, d, and e. I know if I try to do all of them, I’ll exhaust myself and possibly lead to more health problems. I don’t know if I can do three or just one. I don’t know where I need to take breaks to avoid further problems.

I don’t like not doing what I ought. It seems lazy to sit down and goof off when I have responsibilities I could at that moment be doing, and that otherwise won’t get done. But it also seems wrong to intentionally take actions risking damage to my health. What do I do?

Pray the Most Holy Rosary fervently and daily for help and discernment, and recommend yourself to Blessed Mary. God bless you.

 

[whatsmyname]

I’m sorry you are suffering so. I, too, suffer from chronic fatigue among other things. Some days, I am almost normal and other days I can’t even sit up. Like you, I have to choose what gets done each day. Thanks to the internet, I’ve learned there are a lot of us in this situation and there are a variety of healing journeys you can choose to take.

I’ve chosen to treat my health issues with an integrative physician using a combination of medications and nutrition, and I follow an extremely strict sleep/rest schedule. For 5 years, I never once stayed up past even a minute past 10pm (most of us with chronic fatigue get our only burst of energy in the evening so we want to stay up) and I got out of bed by 8am even when that meant crawling from the bed to the couch, unable even to stand up. It helped get my cortisol rhythms back to semi-normal, and it is a great way to start the healing process, a process that may never be finished. It is a long, long, and very slow journey that often seems like one step forward and two steps back.

Have you read Laura Hillenbrand’s story? It reminds me of my story and may be similar to yours, too: cfsresearchcenter.org/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=79:a-sudden-illness-how-my-life-changed-by-laura-hillenbrand&Itemid=435

I don’t have much advice to offer except to say you need to accept yourself for where you are now. You should do what you can do and stop when you are tired. I’ve found that pushing myself when I am fatigued simply makes it worse. In the beginning, I thought that if I just went for a run or a walk when I was tired, I’d feel better. Now I know if I go for a walk when I am fatigued, I may spend the next week or month in bed. Listen to your body and forgive yourself for what you can’t accomplish. Feeding yourself is important, but the house will survive if it is a mess and if you only can shower once a week, you’ll adjust. And, if you haven’t already, have your doctor test your cortisol (4x saliva is best), your Free T3, Free T4, Reverse T3 and iron levels.