What does a person do with an overbearing father?
First, recognize the situation for what it is.
Second, don’t bring up any serious subjects; you won’t get straight answers or straight advice. They may actually deliberately give destructive advice or attempt to sabotage their children with demands they marry someone who is utterly unsuitable, for example. Or push drinks or food.
You will need to rely solely on yourself and because of that your financial and other decisions will need to be very cautious and conservative. “Friends” may tempt you to be excessively daring. So you need to be really careful.
Discuss television programs or something similar that is utterly trivial.
Third, if they impose themselves on you, you may have to “unplug” and/or devise and carry out a similar self-protective strategy of removing yourself. Very unpleasant and unhappy, but necessary. Minimize contact, visits, phone calls, etc. Don’t reveal anything. You also are not responsible for their living expenses or debts or loaning them money or your car or your house, unless you personally have high earnings and can afford to support them financially. There are parents who may actually insist and demand that their children and people who want to be helpers engage in illegal activity (violation of law in terms of drugs, medical treatments, tax returns, etc.).
Fourth, worst case, just practice saying “Gee, I don’t know; absolutely no idea. Gosh.” with a straight innocent face and a grimace or two.
Consider that they may have one of the mental illnesses that I listed in my first post in this thread. There is no cure or fix for those conditions; learn how to recognize them and avoid becoming an enabler.
Fifth, develop a thorough and extensive prayer life. Call upon the Holy Spirit daily or hourly. You will get assistance, although you may not recognize it when it happens.
Sixth, do some reading, by researching “toxic personalities” or “toxic parents”.
One day I was facing a bunch of “issues” and needed to go for a walk to get some air. There was a town that had retained its small town feel and had a “downtown” with stores and trees. Very pleasant walking. And I saw a rainbow. Both ends and the center. I looked around to call other people’s attention to it. But because of the placement of the buildings and trees, I suddenly realized that I was the only one who could see it.
