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njlisa
Guest
What a beautiful prayer. 
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13pollitos
Guest
I am so sorry. If it were possible I would hold you as you weep.
I’ve been there. I have clung to the quilt I made for my baby that he never got to use. I had to carry his empty car seat out of the mother baby unit. I had to endure the well meaning people who either said the worst possible thing as they tried to comfort me or avoided me like the plague. I’ve felt abandoned by my husband as he himself struggled to understand his grief.
Yes, I have felt as you do. No, I’ve never found the beauty behind it. Yes, time and a River of tears does help. Nothing this side of heaven will heal though.
Mama Mary does know our pain. She too suffered the loss of her son. She knows a mother’s heart. I have asked that she holds my babies until I get there to hold them myself. Maybe you can ask her for something similar.
My hope is in the Lord that one day He will find a reason to enlighten me. Perhaps when I’m in heaven the truth will be revealed. May God bless you. I am sorry you have joined the club no one wants to be a member of
I’ve been there. I have clung to the quilt I made for my baby that he never got to use. I had to carry his empty car seat out of the mother baby unit. I had to endure the well meaning people who either said the worst possible thing as they tried to comfort me or avoided me like the plague. I’ve felt abandoned by my husband as he himself struggled to understand his grief.
Yes, I have felt as you do. No, I’ve never found the beauty behind it. Yes, time and a River of tears does help. Nothing this side of heaven will heal though.
Mama Mary does know our pain. She too suffered the loss of her son. She knows a mother’s heart. I have asked that she holds my babies until I get there to hold them myself. Maybe you can ask her for something similar.
My hope is in the Lord that one day He will find a reason to enlighten me. Perhaps when I’m in heaven the truth will be revealed. May God bless you. I am sorry you have joined the club no one wants to be a member of
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angel12
Guest
I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. You and your family are in my prayers.
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
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GEddie
Guest
I have had two human losses in just over two years, (a dear aunt and a dear friend.)
As a result, I no longer believe in praying for people. When it came to my aunt, she literally had hundreds of people, including several priests offering Mass, praying for her, only to end up in the grave. After that, I believed for a time that prayer had a negative result!
The thing about human life that we need to remember is that finally, prayers for it to continue will be in vain, and we should not be altogether surprised when that occurs. For some reason (and I know all the theological fluff about “punishment for original sin”) God wants us to die. Full stop.
And references to Jesus don’t help. Yes, He stopped breathing and was placed in a tomb. But people have SLEPT for longer than He was dead! If my aunt, or my friend, came out of it after 48 hours and showed that they lived on, even only to depart again, the meaning of the event would be entirely different.
So no, I don’t believe in praying for people. My condolences to the one who lost their child. And to the one who lost their aunt and “angrily renounced God,” you were just being human.
All we can do is hold on and hope that if life everlasting should ever come, we will understand then.
ICXC NIKA
As a result, I no longer believe in praying for people. When it came to my aunt, she literally had hundreds of people, including several priests offering Mass, praying for her, only to end up in the grave. After that, I believed for a time that prayer had a negative result!
The thing about human life that we need to remember is that finally, prayers for it to continue will be in vain, and we should not be altogether surprised when that occurs. For some reason (and I know all the theological fluff about “punishment for original sin”) God wants us to die. Full stop.
And references to Jesus don’t help. Yes, He stopped breathing and was placed in a tomb. But people have SLEPT for longer than He was dead! If my aunt, or my friend, came out of it after 48 hours and showed that they lived on, even only to depart again, the meaning of the event would be entirely different.
So no, I don’t believe in praying for people. My condolences to the one who lost their child. And to the one who lost their aunt and “angrily renounced God,” you were just being human.
All we can do is hold on and hope that if life everlasting should ever come, we will understand then.
ICXC NIKA
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Convert3
Guest
Thank you for sharing your story. God Bless
Tis_Bearself
Patron
GEddie, I’m sorry for your losses. I know how hard it is. Anger at God and feeling that prayer is useless are normal reactions.
However, I hope you realize (and I’m not sure from reading your post if you already do) that your aunt is still alive in Christ, and that the prayers offered for her were not wasted. God didn’t grant the asked-for result of her getting well, but clearly if he took her home, he made her well in a different way.
Yes, we all have to die eventually. That’s not a bad thing except in the grief that it inflicts on those left behind on earth. There have been a number of cases of Catholic mystic saints like Padre Pio who reportedly could tell when people were going to recover and when God had decided it was “their time to go.” The difficulty for us is trusting God enough to see death as part of His plan and not just something horrible.
However, I hope you realize (and I’m not sure from reading your post if you already do) that your aunt is still alive in Christ, and that the prayers offered for her were not wasted. God didn’t grant the asked-for result of her getting well, but clearly if he took her home, he made her well in a different way.
Yes, we all have to die eventually. That’s not a bad thing except in the grief that it inflicts on those left behind on earth. There have been a number of cases of Catholic mystic saints like Padre Pio who reportedly could tell when people were going to recover and when God had decided it was “their time to go.” The difficulty for us is trusting God enough to see death as part of His plan and not just something horrible.
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Dan_Defender
Guest
When my mother was suddenly terminally ill with cancer, I was away. So I prayed "Lord, if it is your will, make her well, but if it is her time, please don’t let her suffer. I entrust this matter to you.’ She died a few days later, but she was never in pain/agony or even anxious/worried, she was calm and talked to me like usual, even though she was fully aware she would die soon. She had peace and a good death and that is the greatest gift I could have received from the Lord. I pray to have a good death like my mother. God always has a plan, we just have to humbly submit to his will.
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AlruwhAlquds
Guest
This is beautiful, thank you for this.
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AlruwhAlquds
Guest
I feel this way. So many prayed for mine and the baby is gone. I know my point of view doesn’t matter but now my husband and I have to go on, shoulder this…be there for our other children and relatives who still want US to validate them and hear them out and know that God has a better plan. I hear God understands us being bitter that its okay. But it never goes away. I keep looking for where we sinned to call this a punishment…I sometimes think that will make me feel better. I know, I know…original sin stuff… Today is not a happy day, I could go on and on so I’ll end this here. Thanks for the post.
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
It’s not a punishment. God just wants you to depend on him, even when some days are terrible, and some days are going to be terrible.
When it gets real bad, run to Jesus, throw yourself on his shoulder and cry.
Or if you feel close to Mother Mary, run to her and cry, like we run to our mamas as children.
I will keep you in my prayers. The others in this thread like mrsdizzyd and 13pollitos are already there.
When it gets real bad, run to Jesus, throw yourself on his shoulder and cry.
Or if you feel close to Mother Mary, run to her and cry, like we run to our mamas as children.
I will keep you in my prayers. The others in this thread like mrsdizzyd and 13pollitos are already there.
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Dlee
Guest
I am so sorry for your loss and pain. Losing a child - you are in my prayers. You asked if anyone later saw the beauty of not having your initial prayer answered and how to cope. I don’t know if this will help - but this is my story. We suffered for years with infertility. My first pregnancy miscarried around 9 weeks. I didn’t understand why. Fortunately, I was able to have a child and adopt another. Did this heal the pain of losing our first child? Absolutely not. If I hadn’t miscarried, I wouldn’t have my daughter and I thank God for her daily. I pray God will hold and comfort you.
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AlruwhAlquds
Guest
I’m sorry for the loss, I do see the beauty in it. Thank you for this.
Mine was a miscarriage and it was abrupt after being told all is well. It’s affected my 7 year old a lot. We prayed novenas for thanksgiving for the pregnancy, it was so unexpected.
Mine was a miscarriage and it was abrupt after being told all is well. It’s affected my 7 year old a lot. We prayed novenas for thanksgiving for the pregnancy, it was so unexpected.
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fin
Guest
Does anyone have difficulty with this? Not that God says no, since I think most of us know that God knows what is best for us. It is that we son’t know if it is a yes or no, so we can on hoping for a yes. Then reachinf the end, turns out to be a no. Then feeling like i wasted timehoping for nothing. Granted nothing is wasted if we offer it up. But still…
i think i would prefer having God tell me outright no, than having to wait a long time then turns out, then answer was no all along.
i think i would prefer having God tell me outright no, than having to wait a long time then turns out, then answer was no all along.
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Convert3
Guest
Sometimes persistence in prayer can make all the difference.
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Daisy
Guest
I don’t know anyone who has prayed for something painful to happen to them…
But the pain, the suffering, the sacrifice is how we become great lovers, great warriors, great saints. This is truly what GOD wants for us.
I prayed a great deal for my ex husband to come back to his faith and his family. Years and years , including all of the children’s pure prayers. But there has been a type of slow and strange progress that I would not have asked for. Perhaps my praying for him has brought me closer to God in my own way. I know the struggle has strengthened all of us in a way we would not have asked for, but is really quite powerful.
I have a devout friend whose husband died a slow and painful death. Lou Gherig’s. Young couple with many children. Absolutely beautiful couple who succeeded at everything. Their painful story revealed the gospel message, in that Christ’s presence and strength is revealed through our weakness.
In closing, my cousin also died a slow and painful death of cancer at the age of three. He had continuous visions of angels while he was dying, and they finally brought him to heaven. Apparently they were very large.
My aunt and her husband are now intensely devout, even though my aunt will take this sorrow to her grave, and then it will be released for eternity. 
But the pain, the suffering, the sacrifice is how we become great lovers, great warriors, great saints. This is truly what GOD wants for us.
I prayed a great deal for my ex husband to come back to his faith and his family. Years and years , including all of the children’s pure prayers. But there has been a type of slow and strange progress that I would not have asked for. Perhaps my praying for him has brought me closer to God in my own way. I know the struggle has strengthened all of us in a way we would not have asked for, but is really quite powerful.
I have a devout friend whose husband died a slow and painful death. Lou Gherig’s. Young couple with many children. Absolutely beautiful couple who succeeded at everything. Their painful story revealed the gospel message, in that Christ’s presence and strength is revealed through our weakness.
In closing, my cousin also died a slow and painful death of cancer at the age of three. He had continuous visions of angels while he was dying, and they finally brought him to heaven. Apparently they were very large.
My aunt and her husband are now intensely devout, even though my aunt will take this sorrow to her grave, and then it will be released for eternity.
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
There is so much pain in this thread . Hugs to you all. It’s a good thing to be authentic and talk with others about the real crosses we carry.
When you experience a crushing blow, it really does wound and weaken you, and in that state, it does no good for people to tell you about lofty theology. Not because it isn’t true, but because you’re not strong enough to bear it yet.
Do you have anybody in real life who you can vent to and can help you carry this burden? Of course you’re welcome here, but sometimes you need a RL shoulder to cry on.
No, God isn’t punishing you, or trying to see how much you can take or ignoring you. Sometimes we get this pain that makes us scream, but it’s not for any of those reasons.
Healing is a process that takes time and care. It’s olay to be sad and angry and it’s olay to tell God Your sad and angry.
Don’t lnow what else to say
. Hugs to you all. It’s a good thing to be authentic and talk with others about the real crosses we carry.When you experience a crushing blow, it really does wound and weaken you, and in that state, it does no good for people to tell you about lofty theology. Not because it isn’t true, but because you’re not strong enough to bear it yet.
Do you have anybody in real life who you can vent to and can help you carry this burden? Of course you’re welcome here, but sometimes you need a RL shoulder to cry on.
No, God isn’t punishing you, or trying to see how much you can take or ignoring you. Sometimes we get this pain that makes us scream, but it’s not for any of those reasons.
Healing is a process that takes time and care. It’s olay to be sad and angry and it’s olay to tell God Your sad and angry.
Don’t lnow what else to say
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lilypadrees
Guest
No problem with God saying “No” since I always pray, “Not my will but Thine be done.”
He knows best. And my trust is in Him.
He knows best. And my trust is in Him.
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fin
Guest
Agree. If God says no, then no it is.
It is not the waiting. It’s the not knowing if you’re waiting for something that’s even going to happen.
It is not the waiting. It’s the not knowing if you’re waiting for something that’s even going to happen.
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13pollitos
Guest
This sums up a large part of what makes this such a struggle. The not knowing yet opting to live with the faith that it will happen because that is what so many people have been taught. Even in Catholic circles the prevailing theme is that believing will move mountains and to pray with Thanksgiving while you make your petitions because God will answer your prayer.
Of course I realize that His answer is always in our best interests. I know that the best way to achieve heaven is embracing our crosses. It does not help with the shock of the seeming betrayal of our hope and that makes it hard or even impossible to unite our suffering to His.
Thank you for posting this. It has given me a lot to consider.
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