When God is Silent

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Irishgal49

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Hi everyone,

I love the forums so much. I learn so much about myself and the faith and feel they help me draw closer to God and I have all of you to thank for that assistance.

I am wondering what to do when you are in a state of indecision and God is silent.

I had a horrible situation with a priest at my home parish–we had a bad falling out and I don’t want to rehash all that but he has moved…his last day was yesterday. I have been away from my home church since after my son’s memorial mass on May 20th because I felt it best to let him say goodbye to those who loved him and not be there while that he was getting ready to leave. In that time, I found a church I really liked and a priest that met with me and answered the questions re: confession that caused the falling out with the other priest. I like this new parish but it’s a 50 minute drive for me. My home parish was 30 minutes. This priest at the newest parish has over 25 years of experience as a priest and with the mental illness and OCD issues that made Confession hard for me, I feel that he was best experienced to help me. He has in ways that I never thought possible–some of the advice was wild but it worked. For instance, he told me whenever I fall into “stinkin’ thinkin’” and hate myself to think of something that will make me laugh. He said it’s impossible to feel both of those things at the same time. I was in that space one night and I did it and it worked and it’s worked ever since! For the first time I was able to get past my deep-seated self-hatred and I actually felt a little wave of God’s love for me praying by the statue of Our Lady of Guadelupe. I was so happy as I have been consumed with self-hatred and that has blocked me from feeling God’s love. I trust that when people tell me God loves me they mean it and I trusted them but to finally feel it for myself–even just that little taste, that was so amazing. I had asked Our Lady of Guadelupe to help me and I told her, “I really don’t know you, I want to know you, please help me know you more.”

I want a home church but I am sincerely not getting any answers to my prayerful inquiries on where I should go. Should I go to my former home parish and meet the new priest and see how it goes? I did not withdraw my membership from the home parish yet, as I have not received direction in that regard. I also have not pursued joining the new parish as it’s only been 5 weeks and I feel that’s too soon–but again, no direction in that regard. I have no friends at the new parish, it’s summer and people are in and out and I just started attending. I’m sure once activities resume in the fall I can find things to do and meet people. Also I attended their divorce support group for 10 weeks and that ended but a new one will resume in the fall. I didn’t know I was in such bad shape about my divorce. I was devastated and that group help me stop beating on myself and put my life in order a little–I will go again in the fall and then I sense I will be on better ground. My lack of form anulment is in process and should be done in a couple weeks (so I am told).

While I am finally feeling God loves me, it just seems He’s very silent and I would really like to know what to do about this. I am going to the last 10 week class I had been committed to at the old parish and then I will be done with all ties to that church. I am feeling a little sad but I want to do God’s will and have no idea what that is in this situation.

Please pray for me and any advice would be deeply appreciated,

Thank you,

Lorrie
 
Remember God moves in subtle ways very often. Maybe the fact that the priest wads able to help u and the love u have felt are the answers u seek.I will also pray that u find an answer to the cross that u bear God bless
 
When I read your post, all I could think of was that quote from the Bible:
Code: 
                                     "Be still and know that I am God."
Perhaps God just wants you to be still for the moment. Do you have to make a decision that quickly? Why don’t you just continue doing what you are doing, and see where it all goes? Don’t make a decision now. Wait and see, and reflect a bit more on your options. The world won’t fall apart if you don’t decide now.
 
I was thinking about God’s silence this morning at adoration and the thought occured to me: I’ll take God’s silence over Satan’s shouting any day.
 
NiceMimi said:
When I read your post, all I could think of was that quote from the Bible:
Code: 
                                     "Be still and know that I am God."
Perhaps God just wants you to be still for the moment. Do you have to make a decision that quickly? Why don’t you just continue doing what you are doing, and see where it all goes? Don’t make a decision now. Wait and see, and reflect a bit more on your options. The world won’t fall apart if you don’t decide now.
Click to expand...
This. From what you’ve said, things are taking a turn for the better for ya, and I’ve found in my experience that God’s “silence” is often an answer as well. You’ve said that you’re starting to feel and embrace His love for you, so just carry on. I’m sure God will let you know when it’s time to do something different. In the meantime, keep thinking of the things that make you laugh, enjoy the sacraments, and keep a sense of the here-and-now in your life…it will bring you added peace as you follow the path He’s set you in life. Much love! 🙂
 
J_Peterson said:
I was thinking about God’s silence this morning at adoration and the thought occured to me: I’ll take God’s silence over Satan’s shouting any day.
Click to expand...
I’m going to put this up on my wall at home. Word, brotha’.
 
Thanks, great advice from everyone. Thanks so much for the wonderful comments.
 
I do not think that God is ever silent.

I think it has to do with us not wanting to hear or being able to hear (depending on the circumstances) what He wants to tell us.
 
After a lot of dithering and praying and worrying, and having had troubles with my own parish priest (who was, to put it mildly, not the nicest or most sympathetic of men), I decided to approach the priest who ministers to my (former) convent school, Fr S. After enquiring amongst parishioners about his contact details, I was given his mobile phone number :eek: I didn’t feel comfortable using it, so continued to sit on it for a while.

In the end, I became rather psychotic (I have schizoaffective disorder and complex PTSD) and got desperate and sent a rambling text to Fr S. To my surprise, he replied a day later, asking when it would be convenient to meet. So we set up an initial meeting.

Fr S likes to talk a fair bit ( 😃 ) and was trying to reassure me about his own dealings with mental health. Then, completely unknown to me - or indeed, anyone at my former school - it turned out that before he got called to the priesthood, he had been… a mental health social worker. So he knows all about depression and psychosis! :eek:

I left that meeting a bit shocked and feeling that God was playing some kind of practical joke one me. What a coincidence - or should I say, “Godincidence” - that I had been led to a priest so willing and able to deal with my mental health, scrupulosity and religious experiences 🤷

I don’t want to try and persuade you of what you should do. I do believe God will guide you. If you find something of worth in my little story, by all means seize upon it. If it’s just self-indulgent ramble, feel free to ignore it! 👍
 
Justicia_et_Pax said:
After a lot of dithering and praying and worrying, and having had troubles with my own parish priest (who was, to put it mildly, not the nicest or most sympathetic of men), I decided to approach the priest who ministers to my (former) convent school, Fr S. After enquiring amongst parishioners about his contact details, I was given his mobile phone number :eek: I didn’t feel comfortable using it, so continued to sit on it for a while.

In the end, I became rather psychotic (I have schizoaffective disorder and complex PTSD) and got desperate and sent a rambling text to Fr S. To my surprise, he replied a day later, asking when it would be convenient to meet. So we set up an initial meeting.

Fr S likes to talk a fair bit ( 😃 ) and was trying to reassure me about his own dealings with mental health. Then, completely unknown to me - or indeed, anyone at my former school - it turned out that before he got called to the priesthood, he had been… a mental health social worker. So he knows all about depression and psychosis! :eek:

I left that meeting a bit shocked and feeling that God was playing some kind of practical joke one me. What a coincidence - or should I say, “Godincidence” - that I had been led to a priest so willing and able to deal with my mental health, scrupulosity and religious experiences 🤷

I don’t want to try and persuade you of what you should do. I do believe God will guide you. If you find something of worth in my little story, by all means seize upon it. If it’s just self-indulgent ramble, feel free to ignore it! 👍
Click to expand...
Wow, I would love it if I had a priest that understood mental illness. I do think that this priest at the newer parish has extensive experience (around 25 years) so that in itself is helpful. I met the new priest at my home parish and he seems nice but I’m so terrified I might get rejected I tend to run by priests after mass and bolt out the door. I had PTSD and did 7 years of therapy for it. I rarely have flashbacks anymore. I do have bipolar disorder and OCD, which also makes confession tricky. I am a mental health social worker and have been for over 7 years for the county where I live. It’s very hard to help others sometimes when you’re barely hanging on yourself but on the up side, I can see that I’m not as bad as some and able to still have something to offer and not useless or hopeless.

I just wish I could figure out what’s best to do…thanks so much for your comments and your disclosure.

Blessings,

Lorrie
 
Irishgal49 said:
Wow, I would love it if I had a priest that understood mental illness. I do think that this priest at the newer parish has extensive experience (around 25 years) so that in itself is helpful. I met the new priest at my home parish and he seems nice but I’m so terrified I might get rejected I tend to run by priests after mass and bolt out the door. I had PTSD and did 7 years of therapy for it. I rarely have flashbacks anymore. I do have bipolar disorder and OCD, which also makes confession tricky. I am a mental health social worker and have been for over 7 years for the county where I live. It’s very hard to help others sometimes when you’re barely hanging on yourself but on the up side, I can see that I’m not as bad as some and able to still have something to offer and not useless or hopeless.

I just wish I could figure out what’s best to do…thanks so much for your comments and your disclosure.

Blessings,

Lorrie
Click to expand...
Hey Lorrie,

Whilst your priest may not have been a mental health social worker like mine, it does sound like his advice has been helpful, e.g. the stuff about laughing about something. Just a thought 🤷 I am pleased you don’t have flashbacks anymore and pray for your continuing problems :signofcross:

I really admire mental health social workers and you have my respect for being one. A hard but hopefully rewarding vocation. I’m sure you do a fine job 👍

For the little it’s worth, on your poll, I clicked “ask for a sign”. I’m always asking for signs. To the extent that I am amazed God doesn’t get fed up with me and tell me to go away 😃

God bless you and keep you well and safe,

Justicia 🙂
 
There is a quote I love from Blaise Pascal. “All of the troubles of life come upon us because we refuse to sit quietly for a while each day in our rooms.” I agree 100 % with Friar David. Blessings-stay safe.
 
Thank you for your replies, I’m doing much better and will pray about this…but I feel that there is no rush. God will tell me in His time and that’s what matters.

Lorrie
 
I have ticked consult others because I believe this is not how God works. He doesn’t show us the answers or make ways for us as we like to think He does. We do that for each other. This is why people get hurt when God don’t step in and provide cures and answers to problems. They are misunderstanding God. I still do misunderstand God though on a better path than I was before with God 🙂 I got told that God is silent for two reasons. One being that He wants us to learn we have to take responsibility of ourselves and the other I think was a straight forward ‘no’. The first one was a stab of truth for me at least since I 've always kind of got out of taking responsibility for myself. So these days I don’t ask God for things or answers etc and its far easier for me. But I do ask others around me and learning how to work with each other. God wants us to learn how to love one another as Jesus has taught us to do and to achieve this we have to get on and work with each other and take responsibility.
Ps I have mental health issues too and have been at my church for over 25 years and the priest now have is wonderful with me and given me access to God that never had before etc. He has found a way I can talk with him and consequently learned to trust him very quickly and use that way to talk with him and share more so the priest can guide me more appropriately and so spiritually I’ve grown. If you have found a priest that really understands and is listening to you then my advice will be to keep that parish close to you at least. Its good when you find someone that is really able to listen. Experience does help there. May be when the new priest arrives at your home parish, if you can find a way of introducing yourself to him out of confession so that he understands you etc rather than clashing in confession because he don’t know you enough. Ask the help of the Priest you are at the church of now to help you introduce yourself etc so that the clash wont happen. But keep that church too?
 
I usually either wait for an answer or go ahead and take a step of faith hoping that it is the right choice.
 
Matthew 7:7-11

'Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.
Everyone who asks receives; everyone who searches finds; everyone who knocks will have the door opened.
Is there anyone among you who would hand his son a stone when he asked for bread?
Or would hand him a snake when he asked for a fish?
If you, then, evil as you are, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

When I look back at what I have asked for I realise that some I seemed to ask for with all my being and others I asked for in a more standard way.

It is all about Trust, His will and whether it is good for you.

Remember the parable about the widow and the unjust judge?
 
Irishgal49 said:
Hi everyone,

I love the forums so much. I learn so much about myself and the faith and feel they help me draw closer to God and I have all of you to thank for that assistance.

I am wondering what to do when you are in a state of indecision and God is silent.

I had a horrible situation with a priest at my home parish–we had a bad falling out and I don’t want to rehash all that but he has moved…his last day was yesterday. I have been away from my home church since after my son’s memorial mass on May 20th because I felt it best to let him say goodbye to those who loved him and not be there while that he was getting ready to leave. In that time, I found a church I really liked and a priest that met with me and answered the questions re: confession that caused the falling out with the other priest. I like this new parish but it’s a 50 minute drive for me. My home parish was 30 minutes. This priest at the newest parish has over 25 years of experience as a priest and with the mental illness and OCD issues that made Confession hard for me, I feel that he was best experienced to help me. He has in ways that I never thought possible–some of the advice was wild but it worked. For instance, he told me whenever I fall into “stinkin’ thinkin’” and hate myself to think of something that will make me laugh. He said it’s impossible to feel both of those things at the same time. I was in that space one night and I did it and it worked and it’s worked ever since! For the first time I was able to get past my deep-seated self-hatred and I actually felt a little wave of God’s love for me praying by the statue of Our Lady of Guadelupe. I was so happy as I have been consumed with self-hatred and that has blocked me from feeling God’s love. I trust that when people tell me God loves me they mean it and I trusted them but to finally feel it for myself–even just that little taste, that was so amazing. I had asked Our Lady of Guadelupe to help me and I told her, “I really don’t know you, I want to know you, please help me know you more.”

I want a home church but I am sincerely not getting any answers to my prayerful inquiries on where I should go. Should I go to my former home parish and meet the new priest and see how it goes? I did not withdraw my membership from the home parish yet, as I have not received direction in that regard. I also have not pursued joining the new parish as it’s only been 5 weeks and I feel that’s too soon–but again, no direction in that regard. I have no friends at the new parish, it’s summer and people are in and out and I just started attending. I’m sure once activities resume in the fall I can find things to do and meet people. Also I attended their divorce support group for 10 weeks and that ended but a new one will resume in the fall. I didn’t know I was in such bad shape about my divorce. I was devastated and that group help me stop beating on myself and put my life in order a little–I will go again in the fall and then I sense I will be on better ground. My lack of form anulment is in process and should be done in a couple weeks (so I am told).

While I am finally feeling God loves me, it just seems He’s very silent and I would really like to know what to do about this. I am going to the last 10 week class I had been committed to at the old parish and then I will be done with all ties to that church. I am feeling a little sad but I want to do God’s will and have no idea what that is in this situation.

Please pray for me and any advice would be deeply appreciated,

Thank you,

Lorrie
Click to expand...
The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
 
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