When God says "no"

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Before asking, “When you pray for something, and God says no, what do you do?” It seems important to observe a certain amount of discernment seems necessary to determine God’s response is actually “no”.

Many Saints, particularly Saint Faustina, will sometimes say we are nearest to God’s heart when we feel completely abandoned by Him. This kind of “abandon” might feel like a “no”, but - if the soul is nearer to God in such cases - then it should serve as cause for hope. Another possible “no” response might be simply that God could have something better in mind. This “opening a window, when the door is shut” might feel kind of bad at first, but then it feels greater than ever, when one realizes what God actually had in mind. Yet again - if the responses to one’s prayers seem to be negative - we are urged to unite our sufferings to those of Jesus on the cross. But - then - there are those times when something wrong seems to happen, as if it could in no way have come from God. Even then - it is God who allows the devil to act - which the Catechism only calls “a very great mystery”.

All the above prefaces my question.

At mass, we are told to penitently recall our sins before celebrating the Eucharistic Rite; similarly, if we feel bad in life, we might be told to count our blessings. But - when something really lousy happens - it becomes extremely difficult to understand what to think or do or accept.

We turn to God in prayer, so - in a sense - we think we are right with respect to our petition.

But - if God says “no” - then it is likely we would be confused thinking we did nothing wrong, made an innocent mistake, or simply can’t tell why things aren’t as we would have them.

Here’s the scary part.

If God says “no”, and it is definitely a “no” - yet we think we were right in our prayer, then the individual soul is probably deluded. God is stronger than the oceans, and there is no way an individual soul could hold back even one wave with their own hands, although such a soul might feel perseverance would somehow work simply because they want something very badly.

I guess, what I am trying to ask here is, we’re supposed to pray - but then we have to accept what God says in response, which is sometimes very hard to do. This past weekend’s reading commanded us, “Love one another - this is how you will know you remain in me and I in you.” It is also how we recognize Jesus, and how we know we are still attached to the vine - producing good fruit.

But - if you dont feel love? If one’s thoughts are not what they should be? If one’s own conscience cannot even complete a certain deed? or solve a problem?

We can do nothing without Jesus, but - if he says “no”, or if he seems not to be around…?

Then what?
 
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There are certain things that we can be 100% positive in advance what God’s answer will be.
Everything contained within the Our Father is granted by God because those petitions contain the graces to persevere in life. God will never do anything that is contrary to leading you to eternal happiness in union with him.

Or the Hail Mary. If you ask for Mary’s intercession to pray for you, then she will. There is a 0% chance that she won’t follow through.

The things that leave us wondering are the additional petitions we include, such as relief from illness or the illness of a loved one. It isn’t sinful to pray those things, and Jesus isn’t disturbed by any converse with him no matter how seemingly insignificant the topic is, but is ready and joyful to listen, but because it isn’t directed related to sanctification and salvation, there is no guarantee for a yes/no, since God isn’t a Genie Lamp. A devout soul will submit to whatever the outcomes in life are and none of those things change the ultimate goal, which is union with God.

So in terms of a “no” answer from God, none of that is going to impact your goal of union with God. “Thy will be done” is the apotheosis of the Christian life.

Peace.
 
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We can do nothing without Jesus, but - if he says “no”, or if he seems not to be around…?
I heard a homily on this last week where the priest talked about how so many people are having hardships or difficulties in life and feel that God is not there and ask “where is God”.
The priest pointed to the Tabernacle and said, “He is right there. Waiting for you.”

So if you ever feel God is “not around” then the place to start is with the Blessed Sacrament…visit Jesus in the tabernacle or the Adoration chapel, receive Him at Mass.

God saying “no” is not the same as not being around. Obviously he had to be there to respond with the “no”.
But - if you dont feel love? If one’s thoughts are not what they should be? If one’s own conscience cannot even complete a certain deed? or solve a problem?
If you’ve made an honest effort, and you still just can’t feel or do or be what you think you should be feeling or doing or being, pray to God to come into your heart and do it for you.

Pray, “Dear Jesus, I can’t even…please, You take over. Help me to understand. Help me to do what I need to do.” etc.

I have found that if you pray in this way repeatedly and ask God for His grace, then over time you will get better at solving whatever issue it is, or having the proper thoughts towards God or another. Generally it is a process that gets better little by little over time with regular prayer. It is not something that happens overnight.
 
I am not sure what is prompting your question - nor should I necessarily know. But let me give a scenario - which may or may not be relevant in its underlying premise.

Parent has child; child is raised Catholic and decides to become a hare krishna, saffron robes, distinctive hair style, sandals, tamborine and the whole 9 yeards.

Parent pleads for years; says daily rosary, has Mass offered, requests others pray for intercession, petitions multiple saints, and etc.

Child continues for years as hare krishna.

Is God saying “no”?

the child has free will, and God will never crush free will.

So has God said “no”?

I doubt it; more likely God has provided child with both graces and opportunities (miracles?) and child continues on own path.

Love is not necessarily felt. It may be received and understood, with no feelings attached to it.

Is the soule (or the parent) deluded? No. And how does one know the answer was definitely “no”? Or was it “No, not right now”? or “YEs, but not that way”?

On occasion (well, probably more often than that) people stubbornly cling to something that clearly is not within their wheel house. One minor example: praying that a child will accomplish “X”, when it is clear to everyone that child does not have that talent/makeup/ability. Too often, the issue is not the child receiving/accomplishing “X”, but rather the parent’s ego fulfillment if child could do so.

I see the issue with divorced people; they desparately want to be reunited; and any independent observer can clearly see why that is never going to happen; and in the instances I have observed it, it is blindness to the individual hopin - as to their own makeup, as welll as the makeup of the other partner - what they want, in short, is not an equal partner relationship, but someone who will protect them from their own perceived inadequacies. Sorry, that is harsh; we all have our weaknesses;but I have met some who are a combination of narcissistic other personality disorders and can’t come to terms with it. They, too often pray for a change of heart of the other individual, never understanding that marriage isn’t about them - it is about the other.

I have wandered; I don’t know if that has helped at all. God answers prayers; at times in ways we do not see or comprehend. Our prayer needs to be “Thy will be done” and persist in that prayer; and then let God do God’s stuff.
 
I have a quote on my wall by Joan of Arc.
It’s postcard size that I bought from EBay.

“ Act, and God will act “

( she died at 19, at the stake )
 
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