When God says yes, I say no.... And boy do I hate it

[chuckbobb]

Sooo I don’t exactly remember when I started looking at porn. but sadly it was a while ago.

People say that Pride is the “father” of sins or that all sins proceed from it. I am starting to disagree. I am starting to think that lust is the “father” sin. because I am finding that porn is dragging me into other sins, masturbation for one. I don’t (again) remember when I started but I know I started too soon (it is always to soon to start a sin) and I find that porn and masturbation are going hand in had. Jason Evert quoted many saints in a talk I listened to saying: “go easy on the world… but first go easy on yourself” but I find if I don’t beat myself up over this I will fail!

this is NOT fun!

because of this the devil is dragging me down into a feeling of hopelessness (that and I am pretty sure that the girl I like four years and counting doesn’t like me AND I am friends with two of her brothers. well i’m not mad that they are my friends but just I see her so much…)

I just feel hopeless!

to add on to my small pile of troubles, I am fifteen and pretty short for my age (I think I just broke five feet a month ago) and that is starting to get me down (plz don’t tell me the growth spurt will come, I have been hearing that since I was 9)

and because I am a teen I now am starting to find out why teens are notorious for being cranky (it isn’t my fault that everyone is just meaner to me!).

…
sorry I got on a rant

anyhow

I just feel pretty crummy I know I’m doing wrong and I feel even worse because I go into the confessional I say “I firmly resolve with the help of you’re grace to sin no more and to ovoid the near occasion of sin” and two days later i’m gazing at a screen with my hand down my-well i’m not gonna go there-but you get the point

-more things I don’t like about me/things around me
I go on the computer WAY to much
I have almost no self control
I don’t really trust anyone “I don’t put my faith or trust in anyone anymore. After a while you just get tired of being disappointed constantly.” or “It’s hard to trust someone, especially when the ones you trusted the most were the ones that betrayed you.”
I feel like no one shares my ideals: trustworthyness, not swearing/using foul language (s***, f**** and so on) or using the LORD’S name in vain. there are others, I just am up at six am)

I REALLY NEED PRAYERS!!!

(imma add on later)

thank you fore enduring me and my long rant
-Chuck

 

[Lou2U]

Okay, so, if you want to stop looking at pornography you have to do something about it and you have to stick to it.

Give yourself an allotted time slot for the laptop, and don’t use it in your bedroom. Stick to the time slot, no matter what. If you can’t, tell your parents you need to control how much time you’re on it and ask them to help you.

I know it’s hard, and it’s easy to say “I can’t do anything about it so I may as well give up” but you have to try. If you doubt yourself at the start, you’re never going to beat it. You have to be stronger than your vices.

Everyone has been through feeling alone in their values. Remember, they are your values for a reason, and you uphold them for a reason. Try to look for the good in others and don’t get too downcast about the negatives.

Lou

 

[pianistclare]

Okay, so, if you want to stop looking at pornography you have to do something about it and you have to stick to it.

Give yourself an allotted time slot for the laptop, and don’t use it in your bedroom. Stick to the time slot, no matter what. If you can’t, tell your parents you need to control how much time you’re on it and ask them to help you.

I know it’s hard, and it’s easy to say “I can’t do anything about it so I may as well give up” but you have to try. If you doubt yourself at the start, you’re never going to beat it. You have to be stronger than your vices.

Everyone has been through feeling alone in their values. Remember, they are your values for a reason, and you uphold them for a reason. Try to look for the good in others and don’t get too downcast about the negatives.

Lou

Great ideas.
Also…don’t get on the internet unless you’re somewhere where people can look over your shoulder.
The anonymity of these things perpetuate them.
Say a Hail Mary every time you are tempted.
Break this habit NOW.
There are many people whose lives have literally been ruined, marriages destroyed, and possibility of finding a mate destroyed by this compulsion.
Do something productive.
It’s hard once you start, but you must do everything you can to beat this.
There are Catholic sites on the internet that deal with this, offering tips and prayers.
God bless!

 

[BobCatholic]

I had the same problem.

One day while watching porn it dawned on me how utterly phony porn is. The actors overact, underact, or do things that normal people wouldn’t do. Seriously? They did that? Come-on! Some of the situations are so ridiculous that I’m slapping my forehead.

I hate phoniness and that was a turn off.

God gave me a grace.

That was my way out. I focused on the phoniness and weaned myself off of it. And it worked. This was years ago.

Sometimes I’ll fall down and watch it again, but I see how nothing’s changed - still phony, and I go to confession and don’t bother again.

 

[GomezU]

chuckbob, Hang in there. Please take all the above advice and try to avoid this black hole. If you don’t try, this won’t change when you fall in love or get married. This stuff is addictive as drugs and you have to pray for the graces to avoid it. I was 15 forty years ago and it never completely goes away. I went from print porn to super 8 to VHS to DVD to internet on and off. What a struggle!! In the midst of a 6 month clean period and that SOB, Satan still whispers to me. More and more infrequently, but he does. Pray and distract yourself from this now. You will fall. Christ will continue to love you and pull you back. At 15, it’s nearly impossible to avoid a sin of impurity, but you can fight the good fight. The longer you go without falling, the easier it gets and the stronger you get. Learn the Prayer to St. Michael and say it often. That’s my two cents. Praying for you!

 

[chuckbobb]

well, thank everyone who has posted.

I’m going to try and post what I feel without getting off topic.

okay here goes nothing.

I know what some of what I feel Is wrong but… this is just the way it is (WARNING! I AM ABOUT TO REPEAT MYSELF!!)
the world hates me. God doesn’t love me as much as he says he does… I mean how could he? I feel like my life is ruined, my family feels broken, I am beset by lies from the evil one, people don’t see me at all! If I try to say something I often feel like everyone doesn’t hear me!, my mom and I keep fighting and it’s her fault-she is just seeing one side of the argument and won’t look at both!

I only have one person whom I would consider a “friend” but he is not even close to me. My cousin and I were really close but I don’t know what happened…

again…
I’ll post again

-Chuck