When I forgave my father. An account by a Christian woman

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https://catholicmom.com/2015/06/15/forgiveness-for-a-father/

For years I struggled to forgive. There was that one person who I just couldn’t forgive. Maybe I wasn’t ready, maybe I wouldn’t allow myself to forgive. It is easier to hold a grudge and hate, right?

You may wonder who I wouldn’t allow myself to forgive. Well, the person I was struggling with was my dad.
 
mdgspencer said:
It is easier to hold a grudge and hate, right?
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No, actually that is very hard. But somehow we think that to be easy because our heart leaves the impression that vengeance solves its pains. Because our heart is flawed.
Don’t feel guilty for not being able to forgive straight on. You will forgive later with the help of our Lord.
Idk about this kind of articles. I think that when forgiveness occurs all is water under the bridge, almost completely forgotten, I think that it’s impossible to write an inspirational article aboit forgiving someone after you have actually forgiven them. I think the author is just in the process of forgiving. Just my impression… there are people I fear I can’t forgive, at least not by myself. I imagine forgiveness being as if the bad thing never happened in the first place. Ever. Gone.
 
Good place to start is saying ‘God I don’t want to forgive them but I know You forgive them so please help me to want and to do the same beCause I can’t on my own. I am willing to make the choice even though I don’t naturally want to. ‘ forgiveness is an act of will not a feeling really.
 
It’s difficult to give good advice without knowing what your father actually did to make you hold onto this resentment.

One of my most difficult resentments to let go was with my sister. She has always tried to turn our parents against me and still does if she disagrees with me. Her main tactic is crying to our parents which immediately makes them think I did something wrong to her. As kids she would just cry to them when I hadn’t done anything and she still does it now.

She knows exactly what she is doing, she shows no remorse and has never asked for forgiveness. Despite all this I forgave her in my heart. As I can see the evil temptation she gives into I try not to get into any prolonged conversations with her as she can make an argument out of nothing.
 
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