I have been fighting a particular grave sin habit for many years. I really am making progress. But falls still occur. Now when I fall from Grace, after u pick myself up but bevore Confession is available, is God still close by…emotionally? I means can I still address Him like a child to loving Father? Or should I see Daddy as being too ticked off to be tender? I love Him dearly, but I still fall. And before Confession I hope I can still know He has His arm around me.
What do the scriptures say?
James 4:8-10 *Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. *
And of the prodigal son when he came to himself:
Luke 15:17-20 "When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. **But while he was still a long way off , his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. **
Obey the Church and go to confession as soon as you can; in the meantime, cry out to Him and He will hear you. Not only do the scriptures teach this, but our own experiential relationship with Him, when we cry out to Him, will demonstrate the same. Insofar as what you “feel” emotionally in the meantime, do not base your trust in His love and forgiveness on that. Believe that He is true to His word, and realize that when we pull away from Him emotionally, the residual effect of that distance that we create can often haunt us. Ask Him for His assurance and determine to try to do better, making love of him and holiness for Him your utmost goal.
May the Lord bless you and grant you complete and permanent freedom from whatever bondage has pursued and harmed you.