When is "enough enough"?

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No body should ever be this excited about one color. I mean, having a favorite color is fine, but this is pinkadiculous.
 
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I would approach this a bit differently. When she’s in a different part of her day, tell her a story about somebody who is essentially addicted to something or going overboard on something. Ask her what she thinks of that and then reinforce the concept of moderation in all things.

Everybody has some trouble with addictions of one sort or another. It could be talking on the phone or working too much or spending too much time on CAF.
 
Allegra said:
When it’s becoming annoying/obnoxious to be around?
When it’s cutting into time and energy better spent elsewhere?
When the kid is becoming combative or even tantrum-y when it’s time to put it down?
When they insist on having it, or try to sneak it at inappropriate times?
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If the they are obnoxious or use the thing as an excuse to ignore social niceties, that is the thing that goes as a consequence. When they get it back, they need to do better or lose it again.
Other things need to have their own time that is inviolate. Again: if something else is allowed to intrude, that thing is lost as a consequence. Try again later.
It is an excuse to treat Mom, Dad, relatives, friends or even strangers badly? See above.
It is an excuse to break faith on rules? See above.
The thing you use as a reason to violate the rules is the thing you lose, and like writing bad checks you lose it three times over or to a pre-determined minimum, whichever is greater.

I wouldn’t cut out some particular passion unless the child proves that it makes her into a kind of Mr. Hyde when she gets it, but I would make it clear that there is no reason this can’t be the proving ground by which the child learns how to manage their passions, no matter how many times it is lost and no matter how long it takes. It isn’t being taken away because it is the most prized. It is being taken away because it is the near occasion of the failure that is drawing consequences. The idea is to develop the interest and yet also develop character in a positive way at the same time. If both can’t happen, the latter priority wins.
 
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Lara said:
I would approach this a bit differently. When she’s in a different part of her day, tell her a story about somebody who is essentially addicted to something or going overboard on something. Ask her what she thinks of that and then reinforce the concept of moderation in all things.

Everybody has some trouble with addictions of one sort or another. It could be talking on the phone or working too much or spending too much time on CAF.
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If you take an addiction quiz and can say the child has the signs of an addiction, that may be another issue. It isn’t the thing that is the issue, it is the possible development of an addictive personality that is the concern. The child needs to develop the strategies that a clean and sober person has, so the child doesn’t fall into an addiction when some stressor comes along that would lead to counterproductive ways of dealing with stress that eventually lead to addiction. That isn’t brain chemistry you want to allow to develop…that is, a real addiction, rather than a childish obsession.
 
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I thought that was what I was getting at, the possibility of an addictive personality being quelled by moderation.
 
Ironically, I think that was the point of the original book that the show is based off! Somehow, that concept got lost on my 4yo though. It’s like watching Veruca Salt and saying, “Oh, so THAT’S how I get what I want!”
 
My daughters are in their 30s now and established in their own adult lives and careers.

I was a stay-at-home mom until they went to school, and I worked part-time until they were in the upper grades.

I don’t know if anyone does this anymore, but we had a schedule, very flexible (since kids don’t always know about following a timeline!) and during the day, we did many different things. There were meal-times, usually pretty simple for little ones. Outdoor play. Trip to the library for story-time once a week. Lots of free play with various toys (I had several laundry baskets of toys, and each month, we would switch out the basket so the girls would have different toys to play with. Reading. Skating. Swimming. In the summer, VBS. Crafts and arts. Babysitting other kids. Taking a walk around the block. Having a friend over, or going to a friend’s house to play. Field trips–the girls loved these, and they were usually to museums, historic sites, parks, etc.

When they were little, TV was a punishment. I am not kidding you. When they were naughty, I made them sit and watch TV for a half-hour. No cable, and only a few video tapes of cartoons, so basically they would watch cartoons. They really hated sitting down and watching TV.

My younger daughter got attached to Dumbo, and since she was never able to nap (and still isn’t), she watched Dumbo while her older sister napped. This went on for a few years, so she watched a lot of Dumbo! We are all looking forward to the new Disney Dumbo due out this Christmas. But it wasn’t a addiction for her, because the instant her sister woke up from the nap, they would start playing.

If my suggestion is old-fashioned and possibly illegal in the year 2018, please ignore it and forgive me for hearkening back to my mothering days. But I would like to suggest that you stop letting your child watch any TV unless you (and hopefully Daddy) are watching it with them. Do lots of other things. Your child will be fitter, healthier, more verbal, smarter, braver, jollier, and tireder at night when it’s time for bed! And you will have so many wonderful memories of days spent with your precious little one.

Perhaps TV could be turned on when she is sick, but then she will associate TV with being sick.

When our girls were older (grade school), they did get attached to a video of an extremely wholesome show that we all loved, but they loved it just a little too much. It got out of hand and they were totally wild whenever they watched that video. So we took it away and told them they couldn’t watch it anymore. Oh, yes, they cried and whined and begged, but we said, “No, you can’t control yourself when you watch it. We’ll get it out when you’re older.” And we did. They joke about that video still. If I told you what it was, you would be amazed that it made them so out-of-control, but it seems that all children have something that sets them off.

My point is, don’t be afraid to take it away. YOU are the parent, not them.

Hope this helps. Have fun.
 
We do try to avoid too much TV, if for no other reason that the vast majority of kid’s TV seems to be nothing but an endless commercial for junk I can’t afford and don’t want to pick up. We usually fill up the morning with activities, but my son takes his nap in late afternoon and that’s “quiet time” when she’s allowed to watch a video or the PBS kids station. That’s the only station she can watch because we don’t have cable. We only get 8 stations and that’s the only one appropriate for them. I do usually watch it with her, except for when I go into the kitchen to get dinner ready. Unfortunately, Pinkalicious happens to be what’s on at that time. This week, I’ve had some more involved dinners, so I’ve had her come in to cook with me.
 
It sounds to me like you’re doing everything well :).

I agree with others that the obsession will pass. And I also think it should not become a battleground. If you make this into a “hill to die on,” your daughter will dig in her heels even more and it’s just not worth it.

I know from past posts that your family has gone through some hard times (an injury to one of your children that left them with some need for medical intervention–I hope I’m remembering this correctly), and so it’s understandable that the little one wants to “escape” for a while into a lovely and fun fantasy. Heavens, I do that!–whenever I am in a place with cable TV, I binge-watch HGTV and fantasize about having a budget of $800,000 to buy and remodel a home!
 
So, we had another issue with complaining about things not being sufficiently pink today and I had enough. They were playing with magnatiles and she was trying to say that she had to have all the pink tiles because she only likes pink. I said, “All right.” and I took all the pink tiles in the set (maybe ten or so) and gave them to her, then I gave all the other colors to her brother, since he’s okay with different colors. (Upwards of 150) I told her she couldn’t have any of the tiles except the pink ones. She was not happy. Then I said, “Have fun. I’m going to get all of the toys that aren’t pink out of your room, since you only like pink now.” She conceded the need for other colors besides pink.
 
Today she told me that we needed to buy pink paint so we can fix the problem of all the non-pink toys in her room. At least the show teaches problem solving skills.
 
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