When is it okay to say no?

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FaithfulKnight

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“…as you did it to one of the least of my brethren you did it to me”
Matthew 25:40
Hello,
I hope I am posting this in the proper place.
After listening to this morning’s homily, which centered on the quote above, I began to contemplate the question “When is it okay to say no” I have no problem responding to the Church when asked for donations of any type, money, time, talent, but lately my wife and I seem to be being besieged by requests from the secular types of charitable organizations. We receive in the mail and on the phone many requests from the fireman and police associations to the disabled veterans to the cancer society, heart association, etc. You get the picture.
My question now is as a couple living on a fixed income are we not in keeping with the Church’s principle of providing for those less fortunate? We do what we can for some of those that ask but just find it impossible to do for all.
Your comments would be welcome.
Thank you
 
Just be honest. Write them a short note sent in their post paid return envelope saying that you cannot contribute at this time, but you will pray for the success of their ventures to assist people in need. “Kindly remove me from your mailing list.”
 
I don’t think today’s Gospel is about donating money to charitable organizations. At least that should not be the primary way you follow the commandment to love your neighbor.

It’s a sad fact that when you give money to charities, it puts you call lists and mailing lists, and the organizations ask you for more and more.

You have to set limits according to what you can afford. You also have to set money aside for other important responsibilities like taking care of your children or your parents. You can’t give away all you have so that your family is impoverished.

You have to set priorities. What do you think is more important? Feeding the hungry? Supporting research on diseases? Ending abortion? Supporting education? Caring for victims of war? There are so many choices, and frankly some are much more deserving than others.

Keep in mind that charity can be given by other-than-monetary donations. In your community, I’m sure there are ways you can donate your time and energy to help people directly. Actually, that’s what I thought today’s Gospel is about.
 
FaithfulKnight said:
“…as you did it to one of the least of my brethren you did it to me”
Matthew 25:40
Hello,
I hope I am posting this in the proper place.
After listening to this morning’s homily, which centered on the quote above, I began to contemplate the question “When is it okay to say no” I have no problem responding to the Church when asked for donations of any type, money, time, talent, but lately my wife and I seem to be being besieged by requests from the secular types of charitable organizations. We receive in the mail and on the phone many requests from the fireman and police associations to the disabled veterans to the cancer society, heart association, etc. You get the picture.
My question now is as a couple living on a fixed income are we not in keeping with the Church’s principle of providing for those less fortunate? We do what we can for some of those that ask but just find it impossible to do for all.
Your comments would be welcome.
Thank you
Click to expand...
You answered your own question. You do what you can.
 
FaithfulKnight said:
“…as you did it to one of the least of my brethren you did it to me”
Matthew 25:40
Hello,
I hope I am posting this in the proper place.
After listening to this morning’s homily, which centered on the quote above, I began to contemplate the question “When is it okay to say no” I have no problem responding to the Church when asked for donations of any type, money, time, talent, but lately my wife and I seem to be being besieged by requests from the secular types of charitable organizations. We receive in the mail and on the phone many requests from the fireman and police associations to the disabled veterans to the cancer society, heart association, etc. You get the picture.
My question now is as a couple living on a fixed income are we not in keeping with the Church’s principle of providing for those less fortunate? We do what we can for some of those that ask but just find it impossible to do for all.
Your comments would be welcome.
Thank you
Click to expand...
Don’t feel that you have to give to every request. Do what you can and when you can’t, offer to pray the the success of the program. I heard a priest share a story once about a nun was leaving a building down town in a big city and a beggar was outside. She saw him and then got on the ground and told him that she had no money to give but she offered to give the man a hug. The man then burst into tears because no one ever touches him and that hug did more for him than money. Not everything we give has to be money, smiles, hugs, kind words maybe what it needed than money.
 
Also, if it makes you feel better about saying No, be aware that a significant percentage of cold-calling charities (ones that you have had no prior relationship with) are either outright scams or entities that give a small portion of your money to those in need and a large percentage to their organizational expenses (i.e. their salaries).

Decide how much you can give to charities and then pick ones that you know, through research, are legitimate and doing good work. If you give money over the phone to a less-than-reputable organization, then you haven’t helped anyone.

Resources:
FTC: Fundraisers Calling on Behalf of Police and Firefighters
Telemarketers turn charity into profits
 
You are under no obligation to give to **any **group that solicits money.

As a couple, through prayer and discernment, you decide what you can give and two whom you will give it.

Over time, your decisions about which organizations you support and how much you give may change. One need not feel guilty about stopping their giving to one organization in order to give to another, or if their means change to reduce or discontinue support.

Stewardship is a prayerful undertaking, a sharing in time, talent, and treasure through discernment not by making someone feel guilty through mail solicitations.
 
Thank you all for your thoughts. We will continue our support to those causes we feel are most worthwhile and a prayer to those that we are unable to support monetarily.
 
You are under no obligation to donate to every organization that asks for money, even if they send you address labels, note pads, pens, holy cards, holiday cards or anything else with their request. As someone else already said, many of these organizations give or sell your name to other organizations and the requests become never ending. So, just decide which organizations you want to support and ignore the rest or ask them to take you off their list.
 
It’s OK to say no for many reasons, like if the organization engages in questionable practices or if giving to an individual will enable their destructive behavior, or if giving will cause discord in your marriage. It’s also fine to set limits, even with reputable charities. Hubby and I have a very specific budget for giving, and since we often disagree on priorities for it, we’re sure to hash out which organizations we agree on and will support. This year, we set up a payroll deduction to a resource center for homeless youth. Having done that, we’ve spent the amount we agreed upon and there isn’t any more, so we have to decline everyone else’s requests.
 
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