When is it wrong to conceal information?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lucy_1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

Lucy_1

Guest
There will sometimes be situations in my life where I think something is really nobody’s business, but rules or laws or societal norms or whatever have made it their business. When is it a sin to conceal information?
Edit: I changed my initial example (below) because as 1ke points out, it’s lying not concealment. So let’s use something ficticious. Say I know my neighbor bought a church raffle ticket and won. I know he has the winning ticket, but I don’t tell him, and he never gets the prize. Is that wrong?
Click to expand...
For example: this morning my son (17) has a weird schedule because we had a snow day yesterday, so today each class is only 20 minutes long, and as a former teacher, to me that’s just not worth the bother. My son, who is responsible and does well in school, asked if he could have the day off, so I called him in, but the way school policy is, I basically have to say he’s not feeling well in order for him to stay home. I feel bad, and know I have to confess it. I also feel like my it’s my kid, so really I shouldn’t have to placate someone else about my decisions.

I’m not asking for advice or comment about this particular situation. What I’m asking for is a general principle or set of principles so I can figure out when it is right or wrong to conceal information, so that I’m able to form my conscience better. If you’re hiding a Jew during the holocaust, that’s pretty easy to know you’re doing the right thing, or if someone asks you if you like the apple pie they made for you, and it’s disgusting, again pretty easy. But most situations are harder to figure out.

Thanks so much for your help and (name removed by moderator)ut
 
Last edited:
Lucy, saying your kid is sick when he isn’t is not “concealing information”, it’s lying.

Concealing information would be RSVPing you can’t make a birthday party— and not giving a reason (because it’s no one’s business why you can’t go even if it’s because you want to stay home and read a book).

Concealing means not telling. And that is fine when it’s no one’s business.

Concealing doesn’t mean lying, which is what you did with your son’s school. The school does have a right to know because they are bound by state law, as are you when it comes to compulsory education. I don’t think you showed good judgment to allow your son to skip school nor did you set a good example by lying.
 
If he couldn’t go to school because he couldn’t get there because of snow, then that’s a legitimate reason.

That’s the reason to tell the school.
 
Last edited:
Well, technically he didn’t feel well about going to school, but I take your point and I guess I am speaking of concealing truth, which is in fact, lying, though I differ with you on your opinion about compulsory education.

In any case, I’d also be lying about the apple pie. What are the guiding principles about telling the truth?
 
No, they had a snow day yesterday. Today he could’ve gone to school. But as I said, I’m really looking for more info about right and wrong
 
He didn’t “feel” like going to school…he felt “bad” going to school because of the weird schedule…I say, no harm, no foul…the school probably doesn’t even care that he wasn’t sick in bed.
 
Lucy_1 said:
In any case, I’d also be lying about the apple pie. What are the guiding principles about telling the truth?
Click to expand...
You can use equivocation, wide mental reservation, or simply find some aspect of the truth to tell.

If someone baked me an apple pie and it wasn’t very good, i would thank them for the pie. If they asked how I liked it, I would simply find some aspect of it to complement if possible. I would say ‘It was such a flaky crust’ or “Those were very juicy apples” if in fact that was true. That isn’t a lie. If they pressed me, I would tell them that I appreciated their thoughtfulness but it wasn’t to my tastes. That isn’t a reflection on them but on me.

Personally, I don’t like apple pie so all of the above are in theory-- because if someone baked me an apple pie my truthful answer would be “I appreciate the thoughtfulness, I gave it to my husband since I don’t eat pie.”
 
Thank you, this is a great resource and I will read it. Can you take a look at my edit, which is an example of concealment?
 
Concealing is moral when the person has no right to the information.

In your new scenario, the person does have a right to the information. You would be acting against charity and justice to purposely not tell him.
 
Next time just say “He isn’t up to coming to school today”. If they press, say “Is a doctor’s note required?” (of course it isn’t, so they will say “no”). Say, “Well I expect him to be back tomorrow . Thank you.” and then hang up.

You are correct. Unless he is a truancy problem, it really isn’t the school’s business. They will record the absence, and that should be that. Now if he is missing school a lot or all of the time, that is a whole different ballgame.

I afforded my child two mental health days per school year, as long as she was working hard, keeping up with her work, and her grades were good. Sometimes we need to take a breather. It is a healthy things for kids to learn. And also for them to learn how to manage doing so. Just don’t lie, though. It really isn’t necessary. You can phrase things in a way that keeps your information private, without lying or misleading. Don’t teach your children to lie, but teach them how to protect their personal information while still being truthful.
 
Last edited:
1ke said:
The school does have a right to know because they are bound by state law,
Click to expand...
That begs the question of whether the State has a right to that information, or a right to bind in that way.

I’m not endorsing lying or course. If there were a way to conceal the info without lying about it, don’t think I’d have any qualms about it though.
 
I’m picky about apples, so not liking apple pie is perfectly understandable. And chocolate can be really sickly sweet or rock hard.

What I can’t stand are bananas, and also watermelon. UGH.
 
That’s horrible. Please tell me you at least like pineapple on pizza.
 
Would it be acceptable to the schools if asked why their child won’t be there to answer…for personal reasons? I would think that that answer would be acceptable…it’s kind of a way to let the school know you are legitimately allowing your child to stay home yet it’s not their business to have more information than that. Or do they demand to know exactly why? Just curious…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top