A
Adam_Cook
Guest
I’ve read through many of your postings and many have said wait till marriage, or that she is unfit for marriage etc. This is something new to her, she was emotionally abused in her last relationship a couple of years ago, had a mental breakdown because of stress and now she’s still healing from that abuse.
I would like to clear a couple things up though. I do not view the Course of Action in question as a solution to the problem, nor do I see myself as a primary caregiver. I am not qualified, first off, and secondly, she doesn’t need a caregiver she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and does so on a regular basis. She goes to a therapist for preventative measures not because it is a common occurrence. She is not debilitated, these attacks happen only when she’s really stressed out and it could be 6-8 months between incidents. Again, its only when she is really stressed out. What she needs is professional help, I would agree completely, yet at the same time it is important to understand that what she also needs is God. The emotional abuse has weakened her own feelings of self-worth. Now while this isn’t a bad thing per se, in this particular situation it is a negative way. I have seen this before, what she needs is to understand her faith and grow closer to God, to see her worth in the eyes of God and understand that he is Love that she is worthy of. This was how the particular case that I am referring too was helped through the situation. Luckily she has both professional help and I am currently seeking to find her a spiritual director as well.
These attacks have only started since 2010 after her mental breakdown and she sees two different therapists that she works with on a regular basis. She is not debilitated to the point of no return, her mental problem is created by an emotionally scarring boyfriend that abused her and took advantage of her. This is not my own analyzation but what her therapists see as well and they see a foreseeable future where she will no longer be on these medications and no longer in therapy because this is not a from birth thing, this is the cause of a very traumatic experience. Her “passing out” is actually a defense mechanism for her body to deal with high volumes of stress.
So what is my role? Its being a good Christian man and taking care of this women that I love. I don’t see her as a broken puzzle piece that needs to be fixed, as a man of faith, I understand that all of God’s creatures are perfect in their creation (barring sin from the equation but we all have free will). God loves this women for who she is, a Child of the Living God, yes she has what the world says is “imperfections” yet it is when you look past such things and look at the soul that see who the true person is. HF Francis embraced the Leper because he saw one thing, that leper was a child of God, not a despicable imperfect creature. The world says she’s broken, put her away, yet God says she is perfect, accept her and bring her closer into your arms.
Someone mentioned loneliness, but when your a Friar you turn your eyes to Christ and realize that he, our most Blessed Savior, was alone, abandoned and forsaken by his Father and us when he was crucified. He feels our pain and we are not alone, nor can a true Franciscan, or Child of God, ever say they are alone because the prayers of the Saints are with them and Christ is beside them.
I do thank everyone for their posts and if many of you wish to continue to post, then please go ahead. I think the best advice given is to talk to my Priest. He is currently out of town though lol and I needed some different ideas on the situation, so I thank all of you Brothers and Sisters in Christ for your responses and aid.
I would like to clear a couple things up though. I do not view the Course of Action in question as a solution to the problem, nor do I see myself as a primary caregiver. I am not qualified, first off, and secondly, she doesn’t need a caregiver she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and does so on a regular basis. She goes to a therapist for preventative measures not because it is a common occurrence. She is not debilitated, these attacks happen only when she’s really stressed out and it could be 6-8 months between incidents. Again, its only when she is really stressed out. What she needs is professional help, I would agree completely, yet at the same time it is important to understand that what she also needs is God. The emotional abuse has weakened her own feelings of self-worth. Now while this isn’t a bad thing per se, in this particular situation it is a negative way. I have seen this before, what she needs is to understand her faith and grow closer to God, to see her worth in the eyes of God and understand that he is Love that she is worthy of. This was how the particular case that I am referring too was helped through the situation. Luckily she has both professional help and I am currently seeking to find her a spiritual director as well.
These attacks have only started since 2010 after her mental breakdown and she sees two different therapists that she works with on a regular basis. She is not debilitated to the point of no return, her mental problem is created by an emotionally scarring boyfriend that abused her and took advantage of her. This is not my own analyzation but what her therapists see as well and they see a foreseeable future where she will no longer be on these medications and no longer in therapy because this is not a from birth thing, this is the cause of a very traumatic experience. Her “passing out” is actually a defense mechanism for her body to deal with high volumes of stress.
So what is my role? Its being a good Christian man and taking care of this women that I love. I don’t see her as a broken puzzle piece that needs to be fixed, as a man of faith, I understand that all of God’s creatures are perfect in their creation (barring sin from the equation but we all have free will). God loves this women for who she is, a Child of the Living God, yes she has what the world says is “imperfections” yet it is when you look past such things and look at the soul that see who the true person is. HF Francis embraced the Leper because he saw one thing, that leper was a child of God, not a despicable imperfect creature. The world says she’s broken, put her away, yet God says she is perfect, accept her and bring her closer into your arms.
Someone mentioned loneliness, but when your a Friar you turn your eyes to Christ and realize that he, our most Blessed Savior, was alone, abandoned and forsaken by his Father and us when he was crucified. He feels our pain and we are not alone, nor can a true Franciscan, or Child of God, ever say they are alone because the prayers of the Saints are with them and Christ is beside them.
I do thank everyone for their posts and if many of you wish to continue to post, then please go ahead. I think the best advice given is to talk to my Priest. He is currently out of town though lol and I needed some different ideas on the situation, so I thank all of you Brothers and Sisters in Christ for your responses and aid.