When is quarreling a mortal sin?

[clem456]

And further instruction from the Catechism here:
Remember the question at hand is: “When is quarreling a mortal sin?”, not “how can I avoid the consequences of my actions”.

III. SAFEGUARDING PEACE

Peace

2302 By recalling the commandment, "You shall not kill,"94 our Lord asked for peace of heart and denounced murderous anger and hatred as immoral.

Anger is a desire for revenge. “To desire vengeance in order to do evil to someone who should be punished is illicit,” but it is praiseworthy to impose restitution “to correct vices and maintain justice.”**95 If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin. The Lord says, "Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment."96 **
**2303 Deliberate hatred is contrary to charity. Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm. **"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven."97

2304 Respect for and development of human life require peace. Peace is not merely the absence of war, and it is not limited to maintaining a balance of powers between adversaries. Peace cannot be attained on earth without safeguarding the goods of persons, free communication among men, respect for the dignity of persons and peoples, and the assiduous practice of fraternity. Peace is "the tranquillity of order."98 Peace is the work of justice and the effect of charity.99

 

[mytruepower2]

You have consequentialism confused here. Your use of the concept could be used to dimiss almost any sin in a self enclosed world. Moral choices are made based on objective morality, given to us by God. Morality is not simply a negative position to protect us from falling out of grace, but also expresses in a positive way God’s love for ALL of us, not just the individual doing the sinning. In the morality you envision, since the mafia boss separates hiimself from the consequences of his actions through a subordinate, when that subordinate severs a man’s hand with a hatchet, the boss is not guilty of grave matter. Really?

Of course he is, because the injury isn’t merely a consequence of the mafia boss’s action. He took that action -specifically intending- for his order to be obeyed, and for someone to be injured.

If you’re saying that good actions done with evil intent can be considered extensions of the sins they intend, I absolutely agree. But “quarreling” is rarely done with the intention of making someone else commit a mortal sin.

Respect for the souls of others: scandal

Scandal is defined to an almost minute degree in the catechism, but the definition of scandal doesn’t encompass quarreling, unless you’re quarreling with someone in an attempt to convince them to sin.

III. SAFEGUARDING PEACE

This topic requires extensive examination. First, the very definition of “peace.” Does it mean the same thing as “concord between people or groups.”

The answer. No. You see, evil people can live in concord with one another out of a mutual wish to do evil (you see this all the time.) However “‘There is no peace,’ says the LORD, ‘for the wicked.’” (Isaiah 48:22)

Therefore, peace is not the same thing as concord between people or groups.

By recalling the commandment, “You shall not kill,” our Lord asked for peace of heart and denounced murderous anger and hatred as immoral.

If you’re suggesting that murderous anger and hatred can be a mortal sin, I agree with you, but you can have murderous anger and hatred without a quarrel, and a quarrel without murderous anger and hatred. These things aren’t properties of each other.

 

[mytruepower2]

Also, we need to be careful in dealing with the topic of revenge. According to sacred scripture, revenge itself is not intrinsically-evil, but rather, is always evil for -us humans- to do, probably for a reason to do with our sinful nature.

We know this because scripture speaks repeatedly of the Lord taking revenge on evildoers. He even demands to be the one to take revenge in Romans 12:19.

Since the Lord does it, it must be wicked for us to do for some reason other than the act itself, but I’ve never heard a thorough examination on this point from the perspective of Catholic teaching.

My personal theory, for the moment, is that God doesn’t want us to take revenge because we’re incompetent, and wouldn’t know how to do it right.

 

[BrJuniper]

thyrodandstaff

When does quarreling become a mortal sin, and when does it remain a venial one?

Never

 

[thyrodandstaff]

But it follows that the most important commandment of love of God and neighbor must be followed as the other ten commandments must be. Love your neighbor as yourself. So there may be grave matter in this situation.

 

[thyrodandstaff]

So if one threatened divorce to one’s spouse in a quarrel would that be a grave loss and a mortal sin?

 

[clem456]

So if one threatened divorce to one’s spouse in a quarrel would that be a grave loss and a mortal sin?

Not simply in and of itself. Depends on some the factors mentioned above. Taken as a whole the quarrell could be, or could not be a grave offense.

 

[mytruepower2]

But it follows that the most important commandment of love of God and neighbor must be followed as the other ten commandments must be. Love your neighbor as yourself. So there may be grave matter in this situation.

True, but remember; a quarrel can be based merely on detesting, or even simply disagreeing with one’s neighbor. Even very intense quarrels need not violate this command.