When it's difficult to love God

[Monica4316]

I read that love is a choice not a feeling… I’m wondering, what happens if it sometimes goes against feelings? For example, - due to some temptations that I’ve been going through for the past month, - right now I feel very far from God and feel this strange temptation to hate Him and when I don’t actively fight this temptation, I feel dislike for Him. This really scares me… I’ve never really had this before this month… I always knew that I love God. Is something wrong? But the truth is that I don’t want to feel this way, and whenever I do I try to love Him anyways and to fight this temptation. Even when I fall into it, I don’t want it.

I’m wondering if this is a sign of something… I mean something bad. Am I really distant from God? Or, is this just a trial? Have any of you come across anything like this in the writings of the Saints?

At first I was afraid and thought what if my relationship with God will never be restored, but I want to know Him and I think that’s a good sign, and also this happened before this month but went away after Communion. On Friday, when I received the Eucharist, I felt so much love for Jesus and realized how much I had missed Him!

what do you all think?

thanks

 

[Bookcat]

I read that love is a choice not a feeling… I’m wondering, what happens if it sometimes goes against feelings? For example, - due to some temptations that I’ve been going through for the past month, - right now I feel very far from God and feel this strange temptation to hate Him and when I don’t actively fight this temptation, I feel dislike for Him. This really scares me… I’ve never really had this before this month… I always knew that I love God. Is something wrong? But the truth is that I don’t want to feel this way, and whenever I do I try to love Him anyways and to fight this temptation. Even when I fall into it, I don’t want it.

I’m wondering if this is a sign of something… I mean something bad. Am I really distant from God? Or, is this just a trial? Have any of you come across anything like this in the writings of the Saints?

At first I was afraid and thought what if my relationship with God will never be restored, but I want to know Him and I think that’s a good sign, and also this happened before this month but went away after Communion. On Friday, when I received the Eucharist, I felt so much love for Jesus and realized how much I had missed Him!

what do you all think?

thanks

It can be a ‘trial’ it can be a kind of temptation…it can be a purification…

but do not worry in any case. Feelings are good and are important…but they do not always indicate reality. Do not consent of course. But like thoughts…feelings can just be feelings…and somewhat out of our control.

But do not fret either. Be simple.

Just love God anyway (in your will) …cling to Christ.

and know the God loves you.

I suggest to you that book I mentioned earlier “Time for God” …

frjacquesphilippe.com/books/time_for_god.html

frjacquesphilippe.com/themes/difficulties_in_prayer.html

 

[Student09]

I don’t know if this is the same thing as what you are talking about, but sometimes I feel a strange, powerful disgust for God and His saints and everything holy. I don’t know where it comes from, whether my own imperfect nature or from the devil, but I do know that I don’t will it. What I do when I feel this way is make acts of love and faith.

 

[beckycmarie]

Monica,

In the event that what you’ve got is a demonic thorn in your side, have you tried any of the spiritual warfare prayers? Given how much you love God (and it’s obvious you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be so disturbed by the thoughts) and try to keep His commands, a demonic pest should be pretty easy to get rid of for you.

I recommend these these prayers:
Hedge Prayer for Protection of Self
Prayer To Control Thoughts
Rebuking Particular Spirits (I would rebuke the spirits of blasphemy and anxiety, and ask for God to fill you with reverence and peace).

What I do when I feel this way is make acts of love and faith.

This is also a good suggestion.

 

[Matt_707]

I read that love is a choice not a feeling… I’m wondering, what happens if it sometimes goes against feelings? For example, - due to some temptations that I’ve been going through for the past month, - right now I feel very far from God and feel this strange temptation to hate Him and when I don’t actively fight this temptation, I feel dislike for Him. This really scares me… I’ve never really had this before this month… I always knew that I love God. Is something wrong? But the truth is that I don’t want to feel this way, and whenever I do I try to love Him anyways and to fight this temptation. Even when I fall into it, I don’t want it.

I’m wondering if this is a sign of something… I mean something bad. Am I really distant from God? Or, is this just a trial? Have any of you come across anything like this in the writings of the Saints?

At first I was afraid and thought what if my relationship with God will never be restored, but I want to know Him and I think that’s a good sign, and also this happened before this month but went away after Communion. On Friday, when I received the Eucharist, I felt so much love for Jesus and realized how much I had missed Him!

what do you all think?

thanks

I know exactly what you are going through… My case may have been a bit different though.

I had started getting controlling of my life. I really started trying to fall in line with the average person my age. I started listening to what the world said would make me happy. After talking with my spiritual director, I realized that I just had to stop trying and let God take over. He alone is the only thing in this world that can bring us true happiness. All that other stuff is just fake and artificial… Also, have you ever noticed how we always need new things in this world? Most people are always longing for the newer best thing. When we desire nothing else, but to follow God: that is when true happiness and fulfillment occurs.

Just because you might not feel extremely close with our Father doesn’t mean He isn’t close to you. He is holding your hand and catches every tear you might cry. & after this test is complete, you will be closer with Him than ever before… God gives us these challenges to bring us closer to Him! Keep your eyes set on the light at the end of the tunnel… Jesus would never give you anything you couldn’t handle.

JMJ

-Matt

 

[Ferds_Guiang]

I’m currently finishing my first book and one chapter deals with the awareness of God’s love for us. I list ways by which God shows how He loves us and these are: through our prayers, our loved ones, our trials and sufferings (yes believe it or not), our daily or periodic conversions, the the words of Scripture, through fortunate events, through the Eucharist. And the more we feel God’s love through these many ways the better we are able to love Him.

 

[LARSCOUT0311]

I’m wondering if this is a sign of something… I mean something bad. Am I really distant from God? Or, is this just a trial? Have any of you come across anything like this in the writings of the Saints?

I think that this is when we realize our familial relationship with God. Strangely enough, yesterday I had similar feelings right before Mass and during. At the beginning of Mass during my moment of reflection I dug deep into myself to try to understand why I was so angry and frustrated. I realized that it was me. Once I took this “quiet” time I felt much better about everything and by the time we came to “Lord I am not worthy but only say the word and I will be healed” I was.
Why I mention in the beginning that this is when we realize our familial relationship is because God is our father and parent. He doesn’t like the things we do alot, just as our earthly parents don’t, but there is still love…and vice versa. God is the parent that understands our shortcomings and our failings. But, he is a fair and stern parent when it is needed. When a parent does not let us do the things we want or at least warns us against it, we find ourselves “disliking” the parent…but we always come back and when we do the parent is there. For you to suffer and struggle with your feelings to me is a positive that you recognize your temptations and care what God thinks.

On a somewhat related note:
Can you imagine what Hell must feel like if Hell is the absence of God and that everything he does or is about disgusts you?

 

[Lief_Erikson]

You don’t really hate or dislike God or His holy ones. Consequently it is obvious that these are just more tricks the enemy is trying to play on you to shake your faith. It’s one more trial.

 

[Shin]

You don’t really hate or dislike God or His holy ones. Consequently it is obvious that these are just more tricks the enemy is trying to play on you to shake your faith. It’s one more trial.

Yes. These trials ultimately are for our greater good as we overcome them and learn from them.

While it’s not strictly true, ‘no good deed goes unpunished’, the devils will either punish particularly good acts or try to make us hate to do them and otherwise stop us.

And so the St. Michael prayer and an awareness of our spiritual opposition is important.

One saint once gave up a charitable project because it was too easy, and he had no opposition. He realized that if the devil did not oppose it, it must be of no real good.

 

[Monica4316]

Yes. These trials ultimately are for our greater good as we overcome them and learn from them.

While it’s not strictly true, ‘no good deed goes unpunished’, the devils will either punish particularly good acts or try to make us hate to do them and otherwise stop us.

And so the St. Michael prayer and an awareness of our spiritual opposition is important.

One saint once gave up a charitable project because it was too easy, and he had no opposition. He realized that if the devil did not oppose it, it must be of no real good.

all this started when I began a “True Devotion to Mary” group at my university… we’re reading the book together and people are making their Total Consecration to Mary. I guess the devil must really hate the group.

it just bothers me so much because whenever I get these thoughts, or whenever I feel this strange hatred for God as a result of the thoughts, I feel so guilty because I feel like I’m offending God SO much and I started doubting forgiveness… even though in my will I never agree to this, I mean - I don’t want it, even when I feel it I don’t want to feel it.

 

[grace_singh]

all this started when I began a “True Devotion to Mary” group at my university… we’re reading the book together and people are making their Total Consecration to Mary. I guess the devil must really hate the group.

it just bothers me so much because whenever I get these thoughts, or whenever I feel this strange hatred for God as a result of the thoughts, I feel so guilty because I feel like I’m offending God SO much and I started doubting forgiveness… even though in my will I never agree to this, I mean - I don’t want it, even when I feel it I don’t want to feel it.

make the inner distinction between yourself, and those thoughts.

you clearly love the Lord very much, want to live fo Him, and are distressed and harassed by these thoughts. they may be internal, but they are not from you.

don’t let these thoughts and feelings cause you to doubt what you know about the Lord. keep praying, talking about this with Him, and trusting His grace and power over what you’re going through right now.

Bookcat is right - feelings are important, but they do not always reflect reality.

 

[Shin]

Do your best to feel differently and fight the good fight, do what is within your capabilities and do not feel guilt over the rest…

Fight with strength and anger against the evil one as need be, yet do not let yourself lose interior peace.

Devotion to Mary is what the evil one hates, because it is so powerful against him and humiliates him.

Just saying aloud, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph” has great help. One does one’s best to say it with as much love as one can.

‘How happy I would have been to fight at the time of the Crusades or, later on, to fight against the heretics. Be assured that I should not have been afraid of the fire. Oh, is it possible that I should die in bed!’

St. Therese of Lisieux

 

[Lief_Erikson]

‘How happy I would have been to fight at the time of the Crusades or, later on, to fight against the heretics. Be assured that I should not have been afraid of the fire. Oh, is it possible that I should die in bed!’

St. Therese of Lisieux

I love St. Therese of Lisieux .

 

[aspirant]

right now I feel very far from God and feel this strange temptation to hate Him and when I don’t actively fight this temptation, I feel dislike for Him. …I don’t want to feel this way, and whenever I do I try to love Him anyways and to fight this temptation. Even when I fall into it, I don’t want it.

Unless you deliberately choose to affirm, entertain, or foster such feelings, which you’re clearly not doing, don’t pay such feelings any heed. If you want to know and love God, that’s what you’re really choosing. The feelings are merely distractions or temptations.

it just bothers me so much because whenever I get these thoughts, or whenever I feel this strange hatred for God as a result of the thoughts, I feel so guilty because I feel like I’m offending God SO much and I started doubting forgiveness… even though in my will I never agree to this, I mean - I don’t want it, even when I feel it I don’t want to feel it.

Your enemy has found a weak spot. He cannot make you actually hate God, but he’s trying to convince you that you do so you will despair. If you recognize this attack for what it really is and resist it by the power of God’s grace, refusing to despair of his love and mercy regardless how you feel, you come out the victor.

 

[Monica4316]

Aspirant, that’s so true! today something happened… I was praying to the Holy Spirit, and suddenly He filled me with a lot of peace and I realized my problem is not trusting God enough… I need to be more courageous. As I made this choice, all the temptations and fears went away - at least - I was able to resist them very easily. I’m going to pray to trust God completely and constantly this is where our strength lies!

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Aspirant, that’s so true! today something happened… I was praying to the Holy Spirit, and suddenly He filled me with a lot of peace and I realized my problem is not trusting God enough… I need to be more courageous. As I made this choice, all the temptations and fears went away - at least - I was able to resist them very easily. I’m going to pray to trust God completely and constantly this is where our strength lies!