When life is just hard, and not getting easier

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Financial stress is the worst kind of stress because it makes everything else seem so much worse. (I think there’s an Amway slogan that, “money can’t make you happy, but boy, does it ever make a lot of unhappiness go away!” So true!!)

The thing to do right now is just make a list of what you owe, and to whom.

The medical bills, I have no idea. Is there a charity that helps out with that sort of thing? (I’m sitting here looking at your numbers and thinking how glad I am to live in a socialist country, and not have to worry about medical bills.)

The car, just call the towing company and tell them, sorry, you can’t pay that amount. Would they like title to the car, and they can do anything they want with it (like strip it for parts and sell them to do-it-yourself repairmen, most likely), in return for cancelling the debt.

I know there are charities that help out with school fees - check with your public library; they’ll have a list of them.
 
BTDT= been there, done that.

BlestOne, I think of and pray for your family often. You sure have had a heck of a year so far, and to think it’s only half over! Are you sure you haven’t been praying for an increase in virtues lately?😛 Just remember that even if you can’t see it now, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel waiting for you.

Prayers coming for you!
 
Hey,

I feel your pain. I am also going through something similiar. My fiance lost his job, the bills are pilling up, and my $ can’t pay for everything. All I do when I am down is pray to GOD to help me make it through and give the strength that I and my family needs. I trust in GOD that one day my heart aches, and financial problems will be over.

I will pray for you, and I hope that everything works out for you.

:gopray2:

God Bless,

Gladys :harp:
 
blestone…

you are a wonderful person… i have seen it in your responses… please dont get down … you have dh beside you and you will get by together…
 
Dear Blest One,

I know it’s been hard for you these past few months. We went through a tough time financially about 5 years ago when my husband lost his job. We had to move away from a place where we were very happy, and I was very depressed for the six months or so as we adjusted to the new town, new schools, new parish.
I remember talking to my husband one day and quoting that line from The Sound of Music that when God closes a door he opens a window. I began to realize that something good could come from these difficult times. We struggled, but little by little things got better.

The good thing that came out of our situation? I began to learn more about my faith, and came to live more fully as a Catholic. My husband has been impressed by the changes in my life, and he is beginning to think about converting. If that ever happens, I’d say all the difficult times were worth it!

Btw, I also suffered a miscarriage a few years ago, and when I got the bill from the hospital I almost fainted. The hospital had sent the preliminary bill to me and then filed with our insurance which covered the majority of the costs. I just had to wait a while to hear from them (of course they took their time paying that bill). Anyway, is there a chance that your insurance will cover this? I hope so!!

I’m praying for you Blest One! Hang in there!
 
Sweetie, I am so sorry for the loss of your little one. Even though you only carried him or her 17 weeks, it is still a loss. Even with the other stuff, it is effecting what you do right now. It’s grief.

You need help, and I am not talking counseling. I am talking people to pitch in and help. The folks driving your ds- good thing. Let other people help you right now. If people ask, “Do you need help?” Tell them YES! If they ask what they can do, TELL THEM. YOU CANNOT BE 110% ALL THE TIME. We all need help.

And now is not a good time to make big decisions, such as whether or not to send your dd to the next public school district, or homeschool her too, or to Catholic school. Tell your husband you will not make that decision right now, or any other big decison, for at least a month- and to chill. You have both been through the wringer.

Have your husband type up a letter that tells your creditors what has gone one in the past few months in your life. You just state the facts: The leg, the surgery, the miscarriage. Tell them you will have a plan in one month, and you will let them know then, and please give you forbearance on your bills until then.

Sit back for a month. Do only what is necessary. Drink iced tea, enjoy summer, sit a in lawn chair, and go to work only when you have to do so.
 
**blest - **
well I do know what you mean. life is simply full of ups and downs.
we’ve had horrible bottom of the pit years and then there’s this year which is very nice so far.
**but we never expect it to last forever. we know we’ve had really hard times and fully expect we will again. not that we don’t do the best we can to avoid it! it’s just that well… life happens. **
believe it or not, there will come a day when you can accept these times easier, maybe not gladly, but easier because you will have more confidence that you will survive it and more awareness of how very temporary it all is. I look back and have no idea how we got through some of those years, seriously have no idea how food was paid for even, but somehow we got through it and I’m much more confident in myself and my God because of it.
**praying for you. I just sent off our first mortgage payment for the new house. Kind of nauseating considering the itty house and payment we used to have! But so very worth it - we really needed this. So you are in a more debt, but you are healthy and your family is cared for, so it appears to be worth it over all. as you said, it’s not like the debt was frivilous spending!👍 **
 
hi, i didnt read all the previous posts , but i just wanted to say that the thing that seems the hardest to do right now is what will probably bring you some comfort. you should try to focus on the things that ARE going good in your life and the little blessings each day. have you though about a gratitude journal? it’s where each day you wake up and you know you need to find 5 things throughout the day to write in your journal that you are thankful for. it really helps look at the entire day in a positive life.
ill be praying for you and it seems like you’re pretty far towards the bottom right now so things will probably be going up for you. continue to have faith!!
 
Holy carp! You’re just having buckets full of fun! Can I come play at your house?? 😃

Reminds me of the Queen of England somewhere back in 1992. Remember when her two sons divorced, and Windsor Castle burned, to name a few things? Well, polish off your British accent and repeat with her… “This has truly been an Annus Horribilis. I cannot say we will look back upon this year with undiluted pleasure.”

I know how it is to feel that the “light at the end of the tunnel” always seems to be an oncoming train. And yeah yeah… when God closes one door, he opens another. But it’s hell in the hallway.

I have had to raise three children on stingy and late child support plus what I could earn after having no job for ten years and being a SAHM and following husband’s career. I’ve had to work two jobs. I learned that it’s amazing what you can live through. I’ve learned that God always sent just enough money to get me over the hump. I’d get a $75 check from a refund and then the next day my dryer would break and it would cost $80 to fix.

That’s why I don’t play the lottery. If God let me win, I wouldn’t want to know what problem was coming my way that would cost $2 million to fix.

I remember looking at my life one day and realizing the stuff that I used to think I couldn’t stand another day… well, those were the good old days! It just kept getting worse and worse.

But it really doesn’t. After a while of testing, God always lets up. And you look back and laugh. And realize you’re stronger than you think.

This is YOUR YEAR! You get the crown. Wear it proudly. Some other poor family will get it next year. I just know you’ll miss it.

😉

I do find that all of this is a great way to keep from that horrible affliction I’ve seen in some people (surely never myself. :rolleyes: ) Smugness. “I follow God, and so my life is great, and yours would be too if you had the truth.” No, no. God doesn’t want us to be smug. He wants us to depend on Him. For everything.

Hang in there. It does get better. I’m sorriest about the loss of your little one. That makes it all sad, rather than ridiculous. When I found it hard some days I’d just thank God I wasn’t sitting under a dying tree in some country with war all around me, watching my children slowly die of starvation. Even in our worst year, we’re so much more fortunate than most of the world’s people.
 
OP:
Your poor thing. It sounds like everything is hitting you at once. This once happened to us:
I had to quit a job (harassment and I wasn’t able to sue) we had a three-thousand a month mortgage, had to sell our house, take our kids out of private Catholic school, went through bankruptcy, my husband’s business failed, and I had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t work for two years due to the enormous amounts of medication I was on. Then we both ended up in jail because we used “unnecessary force” on an intruder in our home and spent a fortune in legal fees.
Now at last we own a much smaller house, I’m working again, so is DH, my kids are in college, and our bankruptcy is finally over. Things WILL work out, just trust in God. He will take care of His own.
 
Wow I so totally don’t feel like it’s just me! As an update, I just gave my son the CAT test for Seton and I will be sending it out tomorrow, the dog is eating but yesterday wasn’t pooing… so today ds took him on an extended walk to help him go.

Well the dog did his business in some guys yard and he chased my son around the block with a shovel full of poo. He harassed him and poor ds didn’t know how to respond so he just ignored the man. As he continued around the block the dog pooed again in someone else’s yard and this concerned stranger ran up to the owner of that house and informed them that my dog went in his yard. This whole time I have no idea of anything because I still can’t walk quite good enough to go around the block. So son comes in the door with the dog, locks the door and comes and tells me some guy is stalking him because our dog went in his yard and he didn’t bring a bag with him to pick it up.

So next thing I know, this irate man is pounding on my door. I send kids out of the room and call for dh before I open the door… guy is still pounding and pounding on the door. Finally we open it to a man with a shovel in his hand…scary!!! He starts screaming about my dog and my son and how he doesn’t have a dog and doesn’t want poo in his yard. If the man had been reasonable, I would have told him that I had already told my son how he should have handled it, and that he needed to go back and pick it up. But the man was a screaming ranting idiot! He dumped the poo in my front yard and screamed, “I don’t have a dog and I don’t want to clean it up” and then he left. DS looks at me and said, “Didn’t he just defeat the whole purpose by picking it up and bringing it here?” We all laughed at the logic!

So next I started the assessment test for ds. It is a timed test and we were just starting part II and my dd’s friend came to pick her up and the cops showed up at the same time. I am telling her that her ride is here and the cop thinks I am talking to him… he says what to me in rather an indignant tone and I say I was telling my daughter that her ride was here. I walk out my front door and the cop asks to talk to my son, I tell the cop that ds is taking a test right now and it is a timed test and I won’t interrupt it so he can talk to him. I ask what he wants (like I can’t figure it out huh?) and I inform him that I have already spoken to son about how to he should have handled the situation and that he was scared of this man stalking him. The cop says it wasn’t him but the other people who called and want the poo removed from their yard…oops, we thought the other guy had dumped all the poo in our yard!!! So I tell him that ds can’t do it right now because he is taking a test and ask if dh can go instead. Cop says sure and dh and him went and got the poo…

It has gotten to humorous point now…though I still don’t dare ask “What next?”
 
Wow, calling the police over doggie doo doo? My, my… What’s wrong with people? I can’t stand cats, but I’m not going to go calling the local PD to report the neighbor’s cats taking a leak on my car. :rolleyes: And I know people should take a bag with them when they walk their dogs, but goodness sakes, there’s nothing stopping them from going back home, getting a bag, and returning to clean up the mess. Especially if it was a first-time offense, I’d probably just take care of it myself and not say a word to anyone other than DH.

Now, if only those darn preteens in the neighborhood would stop riding their ATVs into my front yard and shooting my rocks all over the street and driveway… 😃 I’m sure I could technically call the cops on them, but jeepers, it’s more inconvenient for the officer to have to come all the way out to my house over a few rocks in the street and grooves in my yard.

I can’t believe it, Blest… That’s so awful it’s funny!
 
Wow. I can understand why you can barely breathe.

Remember St. Teresa of Avila said, “God, if this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few.”

May God bless you this day with every Grace. May He relieve your financial hardships. May He protect your children and guide them to the greatest holiness. May your marriage be an image of the Holy Church.

May He give you the gift of great peace and joy this day.

Sending more prayers throughout the day. Leonie
 
Hi BlestOne!
This is the first time I’ve seen this thread and its so uncanny how your life sounds like mine right now! One thing after another after another and it just doesn’t let up!
I really feel like I can relate. There’s never a break and the problems keep pouring in.
I spent 5 hours in the hospital on Friday. I went for my first antenatal visit. They took blood, gave me a bag of lovely samples and books and a beautiful baby book/diary, then a few hours later I found out there was no baby. Then on Saturday we went back in for another scan, waited another 3 hours, to find out again, nothing and then told we will wait another week to see if a baby appears. I’ve hardly stopped crying all weekend.

At the same time, I also had my nephew at my house and his mother, who hadn’t seen him for almost a year, picked him up from my place, saw him for an hour and then dropped him off again. She didn’t want to see him any longer. I was so angry. Lucky I was at the hospital and I didn’t have to see her, I may not have been too nice. Then there was another problem with my 14 yo son, and there’s the financial problems and on it goes…
I do think what another poster said was true. This all pivots on the loss of your child. I think that will take a while to get over. I am feeling that right now, along with the fact that my husband and I are still separated and I need him here so much right now! He has been wonderful throughout everything but he’s still not here!

Wow! And how much for the medical bills for the miscarriage? $9000.??? Really?? And you actually have to pay all that?
We pay absolutely nothing here to have a baby.
I feel for you BlestOne, You must feel you are drowning in problems.
I’ll pray for you. I hope I haven’t made you feel worse… I don’t feel I can help except remember you in my prayers. And I’m finding them hard too…
Maybe it helps a little to know there are other people in similar situations to yours and we also feel like giving up sometimes…
OH, I’m soo sorry… maybe I shouldn’t have posted, I’m a real misery! So sorry if I’ve made you feel worse!
Hope things get better for you soon.
 
Martha,
Yes…you are my hope and inspiration!!! I know how much you need the new house and I am sorry your new parish isn’t all you want it to be!!! If I know you, it will be whipped into shape in no time!!! How are the kids liking the new digs??? I know I am going to be asking you alot of questions about homeschooling my son this year…just to warn you now.

Liberanosamalo,
Thanks for the laugh… that was too funny!!! I loved the reminder that even the Queen has bad years!!! But I especially liked the “Why I don’t play the lottery”…sounds just like me!!!

RWMorris,
Wow $3000 a month mortgage!!! Mine went from $285 to $378 and I’m complaining!!! You certainly went through heck too… and jail time??? That really stinks!!! It’s like let’s see how much we can take time.

Truly,
Yep, calling the cops over doggie doodoo!!! I didn’t think about it at the time, but perhaps I should have asked about charges against the man for threatening my minor child… oh well, he is over it now anyway.

Jules,
No don’t feel bad… I have been praying for you, and I feel almost ridiculous complaining about my life and knowing what you are going through. I really feel for you… I know no one would tell me if I was losing my baby for hours, and I feel like their lack just made it worse because I kind of went into this false hope/denial thing, thinking they weren’t saying anything because they weren’t sure. After thinking about it, they didn’t say anything because they were leaving it to the OB doc.

I called my insurance company because all of my bills are considered out of network and will be higher than in-network, they said not to pay until I get a statement from them saying how much they will cover. Thank the Lord they are going to cover at least part of it, I was worried since it happened on my first covered day. After DH and I had our “talk” he saw how distraught I was and came and apologized for stressing me out. We talked some more and he understands that my kids education is so important to me. We are going to talk more about it later this month when the shock of all the bills wears off.

I am sorry about your nephew!!! But if mom isn’t going to be a mom, the best thing she can do is leave as not to do more damage to the kid. Is this child in your care? How old is he?
 
Martha,
Yes…you are my hope and inspiration!!! I know how much you need the new house and I am sorry your new parish isn’t all you want it to be!!! If I know you, it will be whipped into shape in no time!!! How are the kids liking the new digs??? I know I am going to be asking you alot of questions about homeschooling my son this year…just to warn you now.
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**No problem!👍 **
 
BlestOne, I just saw this thread and wanted to let you know I’ll be praying for you. I often pray for God to give you another baby, and now I’ll add your other intentions too.

Can you imagine what that cop thought about being called out to pick up poop? I’m glad you were able to see some humor in the situation 🙂
 
CatholicSam said:
BlestOne, I just saw this thread and wanted to let you know I’ll be praying for you. I often pray for God to give you another baby, and now I’ll add your other intentions too.

Can you imagine what that cop thought about being called out to pick up poop? I’m glad you were able to see some humor in the situation 🙂
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Thanks Catholic Sam!!! I would love and yet fear another pregnancy right now. DH is so afraid of losing another one that I fear it would break his heart. God knows I would love another baby right now, but I am content to go with God’s plan.

Yeah that poor cop kept thanking dh for going and picking up the poo. I think he was embarrassed too. Well you know what they say, “When life gives you poo…I mean lemons…” There really isn’t any other way to take it except with humor, and might I point out my son has wonderful logic… he was so right!!!
 
=BlestOne;2303628]
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Jules,
No don’t feel bad… I have been praying for you, and I feel almost ridiculous complaining about my life and knowing what you are going through. I really feel for you… I know no one would tell me if I was losing my baby for hours, and I feel like their lack just made it worse because I kind of went into this false hope/denial thing, thinking they weren’t saying anything because they weren’t sure. After thinking about it, they didn’t say anything because they were leaving it to the OB doc.
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Oh please don’t think you are ridiculous! You have so much going on in your life, there’s no wonder you feel so overwhelmed!
You have been through just as much or more than me…
I am sorry about your nephew!!! But if mom isn’t going to be a mom, the best thing she can do is leave as not to do more damage to the kid. Is this child in your care? How old is he?
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He stays with me every weekend and usually most of the holidays. He is 14 now. He spends the week with his dad (my brother) and his wife and she doesn’t actually like him very much so it’s a very hard situation. And I’m finding it all a bit too much as well at the moment.

Thanks for your prayers, I hope things are looking up for you.
 
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