When, Lord?......

[roseproject]

Does anyone besides me have a feeling that God is calling you to accomplish task in your life but, for whatever reason, something is preventing you from accomplishing it, delaying you for months, years even?
I feel called to be an artist. Whatever it is I do in my life, someway or another, I’m always finding my way back to art. Drawing, and creating stories.

However, one story in my mind is especially dear to me. A manga I’ve been conceiving in my mind for many years now. I’ve come to the conclusion that God has entrusted this story to me…I believe it because God has led me to believe it. He gave me these aspirations (and the zeal to chase after them for so long) for a reason. So…where’s the sheer passion I had before? Those eyes I had to see even the most mundane, everyday occurrences as the beginnings of epic adventures? The lasting passion I had before. Where is it? Nowadays, I’m lucky to get one week, one DAY where I feel up to creating great tales and drawing illustrations of my beloved characters. These short bursts of inspiration are usually followed by months of dryness. Months of mediocrity! I feel like I’m being teased.

The story in question has a lot of spiritual themes and themes about the human person as a whole. The meaning this story has is very personal to me.

Daily, I offer the story’s plot, characters, and everything else concerning it, to Christ’s Sacred Heart. I offer it to Mary as well. I ask them to watch over it even while my inspiration is nil.

In the past, I was beginning to think this story will never make it. I felt (dare I make this comparison) like the child I was bearing for so long would die before being born. I was feeling very heartbroken and near despair. After praying for some form of consolation, a short few evenings later, I had a very brief dream. A very simple dream: I saw the hand of God holding my main character who was sleeping, very peacefully. I then saw God gazing down at him, not glancing away for a second. Even though this dream lasted but a minute or so and was in no way ecstasy inducing, when I woke up, I felt a supernatural sense of hope that I never felt before. I knew, somehow, this story would make it.

I also asked God how he cares for my characters. I felt a voice inside say, “I watch over them as my own.” I felt a great peace flowed over me at that point, nearly to tears.

This hope still lingers, faintly, but it’s as if a cold feeling of doubt is trying to replace it. On top of that, I just haven’t been up to writing or drawing it lately…or anything for that matter.
Thoughts like “He doesn’t care about your dreams” or “He’s just leading you in circles.” or “He didn’t REALLY mean that!” keep weighing heavily in my mind.

I, at times, find it difficult to discern what thoughts in my head are God’s voice speaking to me, and which ones are just thoughts. Laying in my bed, I thought I felt these words in my head: “I won’t despise anything which you give to my heart.” I felt quite peaceful afterwards but…was that me, or HIM? For this reason, I’ve been afraid of praying too deeply. I’m afraid of “hearing” a voice that I mistake for His voice and acting or thinking on it. My worst fear is hearing God tell me to let go of the project for good. Then I would feel like I’ve been lied to this whole time.

I’m not sure what to do. Prayers please, and advice if you have any.

Thanks in advance.

 

[St_Francis]

I hope you get some better answers than mine, but I sometimes have to remind myself that the Enemy (devil) can influence our thoughts and imagination. So I ignore those bad types of thoughts, or pray over them.

Dryness is not uncommon. Persevere through this difficult period: don’t give up!!! But also don’t dwell on the outcome–the action is up to you, the rest is up to God.

 

[WaitingForJesus]

I once asked my confessor how I could know if God wants me to do something because I felt I was being asked to do something unusual and scary but good. I could not tell if it was my wild imagination or God talking to me, and I had a lack of clarity how to proceed. He said if it is God that it will keep coming up. In fact, he was right. Over a period of several months I gained the clarity I needed.

I believe God wants you to write this story if it has been in your mind for many years now. it seems that when you have asked God has given you many consolations – good feelings about the characters and your story. The negative thoughts are the evil one trying to get you to not write it. Dismiss them and start writing. If they continue to disturb you, ask Mother Mary or the Lord to silence the thoughts and eliminate other obstacles which are keeping you from the task he has given you.

Don’t be afraid to pray too deeply. That is likely a temptation to keep you distant from the Lord. I struggle with discerning his voice from min and his will from mine. There is generally no need to act immediately on the answers and inspirations you believe you receive in prayer. Pray for clarity if you don’t know the source of the idea or whether or not it is a good thing to do. I have done that many times and invariably receive a sign or wake up a few days later with a clear answer.

God bless you.

 

[holyrood]

Roseproject, I can very much relate. I write, too, and the last few years have been a terrible struggle to keep my writing projects moving. I know writers who are cranking out a book every six months or even more often, while it’s taking me two to three years. I have to remind myself to trust God, to cut myself some slack, as I’ve been in the middle of dealing with infidelity, a dysfunctional family of origin, divorce, and some major necessary outside projects on top of caring for my children and working another job.

I also see that as I’m growing in these years, so will my characters and writing grow.

One of my daughters is very into Manga. One of her favorites is one that deals with God, faith, spirituality. I confess at one time I would have not seen the value in writing Manga but I see how it’s reinforcing her faith that she learns from me, and it is no doubt reaching thousands of other kids. God is there in all our work, when we ask Him.

 

[roseproject]

One of my daughters is very into Manga. One of her favorites is one that deals with God, faith, spirituality. I confess at one time I would have not seen the value in writing Manga but I see how it’s reinforcing her faith that she learns from me, and it is no doubt reaching thousands of other kids. God is there in all our work, when we ask Him.

What is this manga called?