When no one else is Catholic

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leamar3

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I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
 
I think you need to read this book if you haven’t already. It is not an easy thing to be Catholic in the South, and converting can be a form of martyrdom. I don’t know a single convert that realized what it would cost them when they began the journey. Particularly in marriage, there can be a grave feeling of injury and hurt that comes with the conversion.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t more than worth it. We have joy in suffering, though we don’t ENjoy it. Times of consolation come again, but not without trial.
 
Prayers for you. :gopray: It must be hard to live in fear that sharing about becoming Catholic would cost you your friends and alienate you from your family members.

My husband was Lutheran. His family eventually adjusted to his conversion, although most do not understand why he did it, apart from his being married to a Catholic. While anti-anything is frowned upon in this society, there still remains a fair amount of anti-Catholicism in some Protestant and secular circles. I’m sorry that you are going through this.

Welcome to the Catholic Church! Remember the words of Jesus that were often repeated by St. John Paul, “Be not afraid!”
 
I remember telling my family - I was anxious about it also.
The first one I told was my nephew, my sisters son. He was the most shocked of any that I told, a Lutheran (as I had been), and he could not believe I would do such a thing.
But to me, it was the best thing in my life.
He was my nephew, though, so in a way it was not a big hurdle for me.
With my dad, I wrote to him of my conversion in a letter, not giving room for a discussion.
I visit him somewhat regularly, but the most he ever said about it was that he could not let another man tell him what the truth is.
Basically I find it is the supremacy of the Pope, Apostolic Succession, that keeps you away of is the main choice you accept when converting - and it is the main stumbling block for others accepting your conversion (“how can you believe the teachings just because a person, a pope, tells you it is true”). And of course we believe that this person is sent, via apostolic succession, from Jesus to us so that we have “in person” contact with Christ.

I would suggest you not try to explain the reasons to any, because they will not “get it”. But instead be happy when you tell them and simply say, “I am happy being Catholic”, and leave it at that. Down the road there may be later discussions of what you have found in the Church, but wait until you get down the road to have those discussions.
 
If you converted because you believe it is true, then no amount of discomfort or alienation is a valid reason to reject it.
 
SilverShadow22 said:
If you converted because you believe it is true, then no amount of discomfort or alienation is a valid reason to reject it.
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To this I would add that it is said to be a great grace to suffer for the Lord.

If it makes you feel any better, I am surrounded by lapsed Catholics and Catholics in name only who have been less than supportive of my change in direction.

Be the best example that you can be to your family, pray constantly, look for support among your new friends and be patient with them as well as yourself.

I will certainly pray for you. All the best and welcome!
 
leamar3 said:
I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
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Actually the Church is growing by leaps and bounds in the south.
Find yourself a dynamic parish and make friends, get into some service ministry with them. I doubt it was really beneficial to hide your conversion activity from your family, but seriously, do they love you? They should respect your decision, and ask them to, then move the conversation elsewhere until they accept it.
Sites like this one go a long way to explain to people what they really don’t know about the Catholic faith. Many people have been raised with all kinds of nonsense about Catholics. They’re not bad people, they’re just very misinformed. Have mercy on them, hold your head high, and pray for them. They may never come around to your thinking about faith, but they are your friends and family. You have to accept them as well.

Again, get into some sort of wonderful ministry at your parish, and broaden your spiritual circle of friends. Daily Mass might be wise as well. Don’t feel like you have “graduated” from classes. You should be, at this time, in class for the period of Mystagogia. Mystagogy (“interpretation of mystery”) is the final period of the initiation of adults (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults [Study Edition, Chicago 1988] 37). During this period the meaning of the Sacraments is explained to those who have newly received them.

Keep speaking/meeting with your sponsor or RCIA director about these things.
All the best, If you have questions, there are so many knowledgeable people here, just keep posting!

Congratulations and welcome home.
 
Your situation is diffcult and I am sorry you are having regrets. Honestly, if I were in this position I would see my parish priest quickly and duscuss this with him. I will prsy for you to be able to fnd comfort and strength within the Church.
 
leamar3 said:
I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
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Being Catholic isnt going to make things easier. Remember what happened Good Friday, Jesus suffered much and was mocked and spit on. Duplicate Jesus.

Do not worry about what people think. Have the wisdom to know that there is a great reward in heaven, not here on earth.

Find friends that are good, solid Catholics. That is so important.

Peace!
 
Yeah. I remember this feeling too. Except I had a girl close by to lean into. But my family never did quite get it.

Still. I don’t regret it. I mean it’s sort of like learning how to swim. When everyone else is convinced that just getting wet is dangerous.

Just hang out with us here online. I think most of us on this forum are converts anyway. 😉
 
leamar3 said:
I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
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There are just my thoughts on what you shared…
Code: 
If you were to ask us, of course we'd say, come, stay, tough it out.
Of course if you asked someone who was not Catholic, they’d say leave if you want.
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Its more important that you know what God is calling you to do and do that.   OR if you are really having problems to the point of feeling very overwhelmed, then by all means, just take what you need.   We can't decide that for you.  Only you know.
There are several accounts of saints ok’ing someone leaving Mass for a while when troubled or going through a troubling time. (Thinking of an account where one woman was seduced and raped I think- the saint told her it was ok she can stay away from Mass so that she wouldn’t have to bear the brunt of being publicly shamed for being pregnant out of wedlock.) SO there are occasions in which is ok. Just a suggestion but, perhaps talk to a bishop- they might have some guidance to offer, and it may surprise you what they say.
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But I don't know..    I do know that God is as merciful as He is just.  The pressure you feel- let it not be about so much a decision you need to make, but about your obedience and faith in Christ.   Does that make sense?   What I'm trying to say is God knows the heart.    If I am too tired to say a rosary in the evening like I do and decide to not say it, would God be angry with me?   I think not.  He knows I want to.  He also knows when I feel too sick and need sleep. (The saints who stuck through tough times did it through grace, not stoicism)    Then again, everything that we do we should do for Christ.   Do the best you can out of love... you can't go very wrong with that dear!
I also just wanted to say, standing up for something when it is completely unpopular is extremely difficult to do. Its almost** equally** difficult to hide what you believe in and feel too. Also, remember Peter’s sorrow at having betrayed Jesus… I don’t in ANY way say this to shame you, but to encourage you that backing away from something you previously believed in, will in no way shape or form make you happy either, or make life easier. (Trust me on this, I know) Its one of those really difficult things in life, that if you stick with your convictions (even quietly, as Blessed Mother did) you will be rewarded in the end.

Either or, stay faithful to Jesus Christ, friend. Maybe you’ll decide to leave and we’ll see you back in a few years or maybe you’ll stay, but as a fellow Catholic baptized in the Church, just stay searching for The Lord with honesty and goodness in your heart.
 
leamar3 said:
I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
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Prayers for you; I know it is hard to be the only one. I came from family of Baptists who were horrified and extremely upset over my becoming Catholic, and it was very difficult to have to deal with all the emotion that my conversion caused.

But still - Did you convert because you believe that the fullness of truth is to be found only in the Catholic Church, and that the Catholic Church is the Church founded by Christ Himself? If so, how can you turn back? If I can ask gently, do you believe that you actually made a bad decision, or do you only “feel” like it because your family and friends have killed your joy for the time being?

Again, I know it is hard. I hope you can find some good Catholic friends to encourage you in the faith. And remember that Jesus was rejected, too, by his own family members and friends from his hometown. He knows what you are going through. Talk to Him, and spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
 
leamar3 said:
I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
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Welcome home! 😃

First and most important: You did not make a bad decision. If your friends and family can’t come to terms with who you are, then the greatest tragedy is that you have to bear the weight of their lack of charity.

Second: You ought to give them the chance to accept you as you are, especially if it weighs this heavily on you. They might surprise you, or they might do exactly what you expect them to. Ultimately it’s all up to you, so do as you see fit. Nothing says you have to wear your religion on your sleeve, and there is a LOT we agree with our protestant brethren on so if you keep to the vast space of agreement they honestly won’t know the difference.

It would be wrong to go back to the Lutheran church if you believe the Catholic church is the church founded by Christ. Not unforgivable, but certainly wrong. Indeed, the danger of going to hell is increased by those who are aware of the truth of the Catholic Church (To him whom much is given, much is expected), and even then there is still room for Gods mercy, but in general I would avoid presumption.

That said, as long as you go to a valid Catholic mass to fulfill your Sunday obligation (or the Holy Day of obligation and such), there’s nothing stopping you from going to the Lutheran church service with your husband and family/friends, (note though that being Catholic however we can’t take communion there uscatholic.org/church/2011/08/can-catholic-receive-communion-protestant-church). I’d caution you to be careful it doesn’t become an occasion of sin to do so, but if it helps with your concerns by all means :).

See, the thing I’d ask myself, is am I a Christian because it makes you feel good? Or because I love God and my faith in Him makes Him happy? Keep close to your heart the fact that He will not abandon you and neither will we. He will indeed see to it you have the strength for the challenges he puts in your way, no matter how difficult they are for you.

[Edited to add a bit about going to a service with friends/family]
 
Leamar3, new sister and beloved in Christ, I hope these words will bring you comfort and encouragement.

Verses 11 and 12 in particular seem to apply.

Others have given wise advice. Please find some fellow Catholics with whom to share.
 
Thank you all so much for the kind words, the prayers, and for the little dose of reality that I needed. I want to share something with you that I think may have been God giving me a little nudge as well.

Yesterday, I prayed the divine mercy chaplet for the first time. I read that it’s good to pray it for the sick and dying and I know several people in that state (plus I find it to be an absolutely beautiful prayer). Well, I believe that a miracle happened today. I have a friend who has been battling a life threatening heart condition for nearly 15 years (he’s only in his mid 30’s). Today, I received a message that they were prepping him for surgery because they found a heart for him. He has basically been clinging to life for years and years, and the very day after I prayed the divine mercy chaplet he receives his life saving heart transplant. That is the power of prayer and the mercy of God in action! He still has to make it through surgery and recover, but I am in absolute awe!!! I hardly think it was a coincidence. I just had to share this great news with all of you.

As for me, I’m going to try to keep the faith and fight the good fight. It’s going to be difficult, since so many people misunderstand, but Jesus instituted the Catholic Church and I live life for Him. I might just need to lean on y’all a little bit from time to time to help me keep this in perspective. I’m going to read the book that was recommended and see if I can become part of a group or bible study class at my church. This will help me make some Catholic friends and stay better connected. Thanks again to all of you.
 
leamar3 said:
Thank you all so much for the kind words, the prayers, and for the little dose of reality that I needed. I want to share something with you that I think may have been God giving me a little nudge as well.

Yesterday, I prayed the divine mercy chaplet for the first time. I read that it’s good to pray it for the sick and dying and I know several people in that state (plus I find it to be an absolutely beautiful prayer). Well, I believe that a miracle happened today. I have a friend who has been battling a life threatening heart condition for nearly 15 years (he’s only in his mid 30’s). Today, I received a message that they were prepping him for surgery because they found a heart for him. He has basically been clinging to life for years and years, and the very day after I prayed the divine mercy chaplet he receives his life saving heart transplant. That is the power of prayer and the mercy of God in action! He still has to make it through surgery and recover, but I am in absolute awe!!! I hardly think it was a coincidence. I just had to share this great news with all of you.

As for me, I’m going to try to keep the faith and fight the good fight. It’s going to be difficult, since so many people misunderstand, but Jesus instituted the Catholic Church and I live life for Him. I might just need to lean on y’all a little bit from time to time to help me keep this in perspective. I’m going to read the book that was recommended and see if I can become part of a group or bible study class at my church. This will help me make some Catholic friends and stay better connected. Thanks again to all of you.
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It looks like you may have reached a point of resolution, at least for now, so I don’t want to belabor the “obvious”.

I am reminded of an old comment: We are born into our family, but we get to pick our friends. Family is what you have, like it or not, and while one can have a friend and then lose them, and mourn the loss, other friends normally step into the gap.

With family, it just isn’t so; and the alternatives are not necessarily very palatable. Particularly hard is when some may engage in some form of, if not outright, shunning. And it happens, having experienced it in my extended family.

Also hard is when some will not accept the change, and continue to poke, harp on, belittle and continually bring up the matter, particularly when what they say is partially wrong, completely wrong, or outright calumny.

How to deal with them could fill a library, and not every suggestion works for some of them, and not every suggestion is something you might be able to engage in.

Some possible thoughts: “The Catholic Church I have come to know and love, and have joined, is not the Church which you think you know. I choose not to belittle you or pick at you for your choice, nor will I pursue you to change; I ask you to give me the same courtesy. If you wish to know why I made this choice, I will gladly share it with you; but if the conversation goes into a melt-down, then it will stop, and I will not discuss the matter with you further. I love you and respect you as (my friend) (my family), and I want to continue my relationship with you; but that has to be based on respect. If you cannot respect me and the choice I have made, I will be very sad, but will agree that we cannot be close.”

This is, in essence, what I have had to do with family (who left the Church, and cannot seem to understand why I don’t). Religion is strictly off limits, and they respect that now.

But it is not easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
 
Leamar,
Praying for peace and strength for you, and a swift recovery for your friend.

.
 
leamar3 said:
I am newly Catholic as of this past Easter Vigil, and I am struggling with telling my friends and family. I had the conversation with them in the past about becoming Catholic and it was not received well. So, I did the RCIA process in secret. In fact, I only told my husband about it 2 weeks before the vigil. I’ve opted not to say anything at all to the rest of family or my friends.

I thought I would feel great joy entering the Catholic Church, but I actually feel the opposite. I’ve been sort of sad the last few days. When I think of going back to my Lutheran church, I feel joyful. After all, my Methodist family, agnostic, Pentecostal, and Baptist friends have no issues with me being Lutheran. Yet, I heard that once you are aware of the Catholic church, if you turn your back on it, you’ll go to hell. So, I’m having a serious struggle here.

I feel like a made a bad decision. I need some advice on how to move forward. I don’t want to hide being Catholic, but I don’t want to be rejected by my friends and family either. Would it be wrong to go back to my Lutheran church? I think maybe I wasn’t ready. I just want to enjoy being a Christian again.
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I’m going through the exact same situation. I’m currently a protestant planning to undergo RCIA classes and convert. PM me if you have any questions or you can ask here. It might help hearing from me. I use to be a baptist, was at one point an Anglican, and am currently a member of a non demoninational evangelical church.
 
When I started going back to church, my Dad said “Just don’t become like [Name]” (she was our old neighbor and a hardcore 7th Day Adventist, sweet lady but you know…I said “We’re Catholic, I can’t be like her” lol.

This came from my Dad who is the person who sent me to CCD and taught me to say my prayers and make my sacraments… we grew up where you go make the sacraments into confirmation and then weddings/funerals. Other than that you believe in God and check the box for Catholic when you fill out paperwork, but you don’t actually go to Mass because that is wierd.

This is a guy who when I was an atheist/agnosticy person still said his prayers at night etc. But the idea of me going to church is considered odd…

This goes to most of my surroundings, plus I now live in protestant country, so I am a minority, at work, social funtions etc…

For me in terms of what you are going through, it was about deciding that this is right, and making the decision to go with it regardless of people. I would suggest to perhaos take a measured approach to things. While in a marriage I don’t advocate decite or dishonesty, there are ways to do what you want without being a culture shock to those affected and to apply certain things slowly. For example during lent I steered my Friday eats properly without making a fuss, just showed up with food etc. Easy for no one to realize none of my friday meals had meat lol. If you do any changes with a degree of slowness and loving understanding, I think you could avoid alot of hostility from people who would be affected.
 
My story is a little like yours. I had lapsed and my non catholic wife had no idea I wanted to go back to the sacraments. She did not take it well. I went to Mass i secret. My marriage was validated via Radical Sanation, and I started to make a point of going sometimes in a sunday.

fast forward a year and although she doesn’t go,
I take my son with me and feel very much a regular catholic.

It has got easier just keep praying.

I typed this on an old slow phone…
 
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