Love is also where you choose to be kind even whee it is hard and your have no feeling, and especially then.
When a Sister was rude and abrupt with everyone, St Therese took it on herself to be kind and attentive., and to give her "my very best smile’. In the end the grumpy old disabled sister became more gentle towards her.
I told this to my son after he left home a lived for a few months in a shared home. My son, who always has been an engaging, popular person, found that one of the guys was horribly ride to him on a daily basis.
I told him of St Therese’s way of seeing the Lord in the grumpy sister and treating her as kindly as she would Jesus; so my son tried this. A few weeks later he phoned with delight, "Mum, he’s stopped being rude to me! He got to the kitchen before me and made me some coffee and toast!.
St John of the Cross says: "Where there is not love, put love, and there will be love.
When Jesus described the judgement of souls, with Himself as judge, His criteria for whether souls went to heaven or hell is whether or not they have lived lives of practical kindness.
It can take time, but don’t give up.
I know it can be hard.
I lived through a number of painful years where my husband was a very angry, stressed man. He certainly didn’t appear to love me and it was sometimes very difficult to have positive feelings towards him…but I’m incorrigibly kind,
and in the end, he’s really quite fond of me, and though semi-disabled, he’s really quite sweet to me most of the time. It sure wasn’t always like this, so I do understand.
My prayers for your wife and you
Trishie
