When people tell me that I should become a priest, is it wrong if I feel insulted?

[Lost_Wanderer]

Stuff like this happens to me every now and then. Whenever my parents go to a nearby church for some religious function (e.g. baptism, wedding, Holy Week etc). They would often joke that since I frequent a religious forum like this one and I’m reading apologetics, they tell me I oughta be a priest.

Now hopefully they were really kidding but I just felt rather insulted whenever they (or anyone else for that matter) does that. I don’t get angry but I still feel a tad bit offended.

Don’t get me wrong, I have every ounce of respect for the priesthood and I know this one guy that I support because he sees it as his vocation.

However, it’s that same respect that makes me feel insulted whenever somebody suggests I be one too. If there’s one thing I know more than anybody, it’s myself. And knowing myself so well along with the responsibility a priest carries, I know that I’ll probably be the biggest insult to the vocation. I’d probably make that guy Fr. Andrew Greeley look like a gentleman.

Furthermore, I am a really, really, lonely person. I’m one of those who are content with an intellectual relationship with God because I feel alienated by those celibate religious who have a spiritual and emotional relationship with Him. In short, it just doesn’t ring with me.

I can only go so far in life, relying on a bodiless voice in my head. I’m no saint. I’ve been a victim of bullying for nearly eight years in my past and it has just made me long for God to give me that special girl because my heart’s still cold from all those people putting me down every day back then. People who tell me that I be priest just add insult to injury.

 

[cmscms]

You are obviously a much better person than me. When people tell you to be a priest you get a ‘tad bit offended’. When people tell me I should be a nun I show them how much of a sinner a Catholic can be

I remember loosing my job and going to church and asking my priest for prayers and he joked that I should become a nun so I could have somewhere to live. (not a good story to tell all those people who have no desire to convert).

You know in your heart that God is not calling you and other people are wrong for pretending to know better than God. When I was younger, one aunt always used to ask me if there were any men in my life. That use to anger me that she always insuated that I was less than for being single. I am still single (not longer young) but I see marriage and priesthood as the same thing. Any one with manners does not tell others what to do.

What really caught my eye was the part about you being bullied for 8 years. I have been mistreated a lot in the past as well. I spend so much time thinking about all my resentments. I wish I could heal from them. If ever you find a solution, please share it with me

CM

 

[ohioszo]

My sister wanted to become a nun, but, she could not take the final vows. During the time that she desired this, other siblings did also desire vocations. When she left the convent, the opinion was that she suffered. Imagine, we all put the idea of a vocation far away from us, from then on. My sister then went into a marriage that was annullled just short of 25 years later, with a Protestant. She is miserable, now.

No good comes from running away from a vocation. Still, I was teased when young, by aunts who wondered if I wanted to follow in my sister’s footsteps. Considering her life went so poorly, it *is *insulting … we are each individuals, but affected by each other to the amont we allow, to the amount God allows. It may have driven me away from a vocation that I now, and ever since the age of 30, wish I had. I wish I were a nun.

Nuns and Brothers and Priests have very interesting lives. Their lives are close to God’s will for us. If one chases, perhaps one doesn’t chase … but, you sound rather desperate, as the devil wants us to be … after the opposite sex, one may get abuse, even endangering one’s soul. This does not happen under the protection of a religious vocation. Oh, one may be martyred, one may suffer derision, but, emotional and physical abuse, not typically like one may find in marriage or dating, working world.

One is happy when one is in communion. Take seriously when people think that you may have the qualities, and continue to act in the way that you do, which obviously is being approved of. Noone will force you into a vocation. You will someday wish for the goodness that you have as a young person, something that once gone, one may spend a whole life retrieving again! Don’t be ashamed of Jesus, of God, of the Saints. There is a whole world that opens up to those who love God and do as He requires of you. God loves you!

In othe words, grow up! Become an adult Catholic. One can’t be teased, when one is being an adult. I guess you are a “young adult.”

 

[surritter]

It all depends on the tone. If they meant it flippantly, then they are insulting the priesthood as well as you. If they meant it sincerely, then you shouldn’t feel insulted. It’s one of those things that’s too hard to tell unless we were there or we know the person who said it.

 

[PAboy57]

Dear Lost Wanderer,

I’m sorry you have been mistreated and bullied. Please place your trust in our Lord and get as close to Him as possible. He was treated pretty badly during his time. I hope things improve for you quickly.

MEMORARE,
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Nuns and Brothers and Priests have very interesting lives. Their lives are close to God’s will for us. If one chases, perhaps one doesn’t chase … but, you sound rather desperate, as the devil wants us to be … after the opposite sex, one may get abuse, even endangering one’s soul. This does not happen under the protection of a religious vocation. Oh, one may be martyred, one may suffer derision, but, emotional and physical abuse, not typically like one may find in marriage or dating, working world.

I’m not afraid of abuse (granted that I find the woman I’m looking for). No, if anything what I fear is that I’ll be the abuser. If you wanna worry about someone, worry for whoever girl fits the profile I’m seeking. Worse case scenario? I become like Edward Cullen. >_>;; shudders

In othe words, grow up! Become an adult Catholic. One can’t be teased, when one is being an adult. I guess you are a “young adult.”

Yes I’m a young adult, 20 years old in fact (and 21 in a few months). That’s what makes it all the more urgent for me (and sad too). Seriously, I’m at an age where I should have at least found a crush but… nothing! I do not see the young, peaceful dove in my campus… just a bunch of noisy, tropical birds. -.-;; They make good friends but far from “special someone” material.

It all depends on the tone. If they meant it flippantly, then they are insulting the priesthood as well as you. If they meant it sincerely, then you shouldn’t feel insulted. It’s one of those things that’s too hard to tell unless we were there or we know the person who said it.

The thing is, it can be either person and I’d still feel insulted (though with regards to the latter, I’d be less inclined to get angry).

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

You are obviously a much better person than me. When people tell you to be a priest you get a ‘tad bit offended’. When people tell me I should be a nun I show them how much of a sinner a Catholic can be.

Actually, you and I may not that be far off. Part of the reason why I feel it’s insulting both to me, the vocation, and the religion is that few people realized just how horrifying to the religious people here the world of the underground otaku can be… a world that I regrettably descend to every now and then when I become desperate for ideas. >_>;;

People who suggest me the priesthood seriously need to look inside my mind. Then again, to quote the translation of a certain Japanese song: “If anyone where to look inside my head, I’d be arrested for sure.” >_<;;

You know in your heart that God is not calling you and other people are wrong for pretending to know better than God. When I was younger, one aunt always used to ask me if there were any men in my life. That use to anger me that she always insuated that I was less than for being single.

I doubt my family’s the type to condemn me for being single. Heck a majority of my aunts on my mother’s side are all single and well into their thirties and forties.

However, I do feel insulted when people see me as single and see my inability to find the girl I want as a “sign from God” that I’m meant for the priesthood.

Look I wouldn’t care if that person were sincere or just plain kidding, anybody who thinks that way about me seriously overestimates their knowledge about me. Why would God want me as a priest? I’m a borderline freak! The priesthood does not need another scandalous member. >:\

What really caught my eye was the part about you being bullied for 8 years. I have been mistreated a lot in the past as well. I spend so much time thinking about all my resentments. I wish I could heal from them. If ever you find a solution, please share it with me.

Actually, now that I think about it. It’s probably near 12 years. I must have miscalculated. I was picked on for being a crybaby from Grade I-III. After that, my hobbies became the subject of ridicule from Grade IV-VI. In all my four years of high-school, I’ve had at least one main tormentor. My first year in college was a bit like that too until I opened up and people realized exactly just how much of it I’ve had to put up.

To be honest though, my victim days are over. I’ve quit being too sensitive and I was a pretty stupid kid too in my own right back in those days. Still, that doesn’t mean they haven’t left some kind of mark.

I’m terribly insecure and while I’ve pretty much forgiven the people who picked on me, the things they say sort of become a bodiless, voiceless emotion of fear whenever I find myself in a situation that needs confidence (which pretty much means a good majority of the time… sighs). I don’t hear words anymore but I still have a hard time feeling good about anything I do.

Dear Lost Wanderer,

I’m sorry you have been mistreated and bullied. Please place your trust in our Lord and get as close to Him as possible. He was treated pretty badly during his time. I hope things improve for you quickly.

Your prayers are appreciated but like I said, I’m not being picked on anymore. I’ve done a bit of growing up myself.

Still, I’m not sure if I can ever “get close” to God in the manner you’re describing. Like I said, I’m pretty Catholic but only as far as morals and political stances go. I’m in no way pious. I’m satisfied with just going to mass on Sundays (and a yearly Confession if possible). Other than that, I’m more likely to devote myself to my geeky hobbies and even schoolwork (nightmarish it may be sometimes) than novenas and liturgies.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I always felt honored when someone would tell me that I should be a priest.

They meant it in a good way, that they actually thought/think that I would make a good priest. They meant to honor me in that way.

If it was said jokingly then I would smile and still take it as an honor as I believe that this was the Spirit speaking through them trying to get me on track with my vocation.

Maybe you should get a spiritual director and explore this part of your spiritual life.

 

[Mark77]

I always felt honored when someone would tell me that I should be a priest.

They meant it in a good way, that they actually thought/think that I would make a good priest. They meant to honor me in that way.

If it was said jokingly then I would smile and still take it as an honor as I believe that this was the Spirit speaking through them trying to get me on track with my vocation.

Maybe you should get a spiritual director and explore this part of your spiritual life.

I agree totally!

It is truly an honor to answer the call to the priesthood or any other vocation, be it marriage or wherever you are called.

We have a wonderful priest & also a deacon from the Philippines at our parish who is scheduled to be ordained in June! They are both inspirations to me & many parishioners.

Listen to your heart, to your conscience, not to the world! The world screams “MONEY, POWER, ADVENTURE…” & it is just a lie. i bought into the lies & had it all, money, power, prestige in the eyes of the world, but it was never satisfying. It is an intoxicating drug, but you always want more, there is never enough.

If you are caled to the vocation of marriage, then that is God’s will. Luckily, i have been Blessed by God with a wonderful wife & 3 incredible children. The real joy in life comes from Love, the total self-giving Agape Love that Jesus gives to us.

Just take some time & listen to God in quiet prayer, to see what He wants, not what you want! There is no hurry, especially if you are young. Find a priest that you like & respect & talk to him about the calling he answered. Talk to other young men who are discerning their callings.

God Bless you!

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I always felt honored when someone would tell me that I should be a priest.

They meant it in a good way, that they actually thought/think that I would make a good priest. They meant to honor me in that way.

Now see, there’s the problem. You feel honored. Why is that? My assumption is you believe yourself spiritually, emotionally, and morally pious enough.

While that’s good and all but I am nothing like that. >_>;; I’ve seen (and thought) of a lot of things that would make nuns faint. If it’s not that annoying uniform fetishist that lives in my head it’s me by myself thinking of various ways to slaughter fictional street gangsters (or other collective groups of law breakers).

I seriously think that those who joke about me being a priest, need to reevaluate their sense of humor and those who do it sincerely, need to know me more… that is if they have the stomach for it. :\

Listen to your heart, to your conscience, not to the world! The world screams “MONEY, POWER, ADVENTURE…” & it is just a lie. i bought into the lies & had it all, money, power, prestige in the eyes of the world, but it was never satisfying. It is an intoxicating drug, but you always want more, there is never enough.

I don’t know, with the way the world works I’m pretty sure God intends money for keeping me alive and having a roof over my head. I couldn’t care less about “power” though. Unless you’re talking about shooting fireballs outta my hands or summoning monsters then I highly doubt Satan can tempt me the complicated powers of politics and business. As far as adventure goes, priests can have those too. Just get the guts to sign up for missionary work in the Middle East.

However, I have listened to my heart and I truly believe it’s too black for the standards of purity demanded by the priesthood. :\

Just take some time & listen to God in quiet prayer, to see what He wants, not what you want!

It can’t be both?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Now see, there’s the problem. You feel honored. Why is that? My assumption is you believe yourself spiritually, emotionally, and morally pious enough.

While that’s good and all but I am nothing like that. >_>;; I’ve seen (and thought) of a lot of things that would make nuns faint. If it’s not that annoying uniform fetishist that lives in my head it’s me by myself thinking of various ways to slaughter fictional street gangsters (or other collective groups of law breakers).

I seriously think that those who joke about me being a priest, need to reevaluate their sense of humor and those who do it sincerely, need to know me more… that is if they have the stomach for it. :\

That assumption would be wrong. I am honored that these people believe that I am spiritually, emotionally, and morally pious enough.

I do not believe that I deserve such an honor but it does appear to be where God is calling me and one of the first way I knew this was through such people.

I am sorry but I just do not see how I could ever feel insulted when someone pays me a compliment, especially one that I do not deserve.

 

[JReducation]

The bishop of the diocese where I was stationed asked me if I would not want to be a priest. When I mentioned it to my superior he laughed. I was not offended by either. It is not an insult. I believe that it’s a genuine question or a compliment at best.

Knowing that my superior has the last word on the matter, I asked him if he though that the bishop was right. He looked at me and said, “Heck no! You’re going to Rome to become a theologian. That’s your vocation. Christ wants you to be a friar theologian.” So off I went to study more theology. From there I went to the missions in South America to teach theology at the seminary and then back to the USA to form new religious, priests and deacons. Now I do pro-life ministry. I’m very happy.

The point is that you think about it, you consult if you want to and you follow God’s lead. There is no need to be offended. God’s call is not about us; it’s about him.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Podo2005]

Now see, there’s the problem. You feel honored. Why is that? My assumption is you believe yourself spiritually, emotionally, and morally pious enough.

I agree with Br David I think that assumption would be wrong.

While that’s good and all but I am nothing like that. >_>;; I’ve seen (and thought) of a lot of things that would make nuns faint. If it’s not that annoying uniform fetishist that lives in my head it’s me by myself thinking of various ways to slaughter fictional street gangsters (or other collective groups of law breakers).

So?.. go to confession, recieve Jesus in the sacraments frequently, pray frequently… if God truly wants you to be a priest He’ll have you regardless of your past… but you have to be open to it (which means repentence & a firm desire/will to do the will of God). That being said maybe He doesnt want you to be a priest… but you won’t know until you try to follow Him.

I seriously think that those who joke about me being a priest, need to reevaluate their sense of humor and those who do it sincerely, need to know me more… that is if they have the stomach for it. :\

Why? You should consider it (as others have said) an honor… but I wouldnt worry about it too much… you seem to be causing yourself alot of unnecessary anxiety, pray about it… talk to the Lord about your fears & your desires… but be open to what He wants you to do ( for what He wants you to do will surely bring you the greatest happiness)

Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the Lord and He will give the desires of your heart

I don’t know, with the way the world works I’m pretty sure God intends money for keeping me alive and having a roof over my head. I couldn’t care less about “power” though. Unless you’re talking about shooting fireballs outta my hands or summoning monsters then I highly doubt Satan can tempt me the complicated powers of politics and business. As far as adventure goes, priests can have those too. Just get the guts to sign up for missionary work in the Middle East.

God wants you to have the best… which is much more than money ( I mean what is money anyhow but paper…)

However, I have listened to my heart and I truly believe it’s too black for the standards of purity demanded by the priesthood. :\

Well then like I said get to confession & pray for purity… then listen to your heart again

It can’t be both?
To quote St Augustine:

"Thou have made us for Thyself and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee"

So yes… but you have to be open to His will, sometimes the desire doesnt come in until later on

Pray my friend, pray constantly to recieve the grace to do God’s will… I promise you that if you hold nothing back & do what He wants you to do… you will indeed be happy.
& Try not to let yourself be overcome by anxiety & worry… I know some people who were told they were going to be priests but ended up being called to marriage in the end

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary

 

[Angels_Heart]

I want to be a priest too however , I cannot because I am female .You should feel insulted being a priest is a calling .

 

[puzzleannie]

Stuff like this happens to me every now and then. Whenever my parents go to a nearby church for some religious function (e.g. baptism, wedding, Holy Week etc). They would often joke that since I frequent a religious forum like this one and I’m reading apologetics, they tell me I oughta be a priest.

Now hopefully they were really kidding but I just felt rather insulted whenever they (or anyone else for that matter) does that. I don’t get angry but I still feel a tad bit offended.

.

would you feel insulted if somebody said, hey you would make a good teacher/doctor/fireman/scientist/programmer/writer?

you are taking your feelings, your personal deep knowledge of yourself, and projecting them on the people who talk to you this way, and expecting them to have knowledge that belongs only to you. That is unjust and unreasonable.

If these are people close to you who have reason to know something about you, at least listen as you would if they talk about any other serious subject. If they are only superficial acquaintances, take such a remark as well-meaning, in the same sense as “Have a nice day” even if you are having a bad day.

Your personal feelings of worthiness should be considered but are not by any means the best indication of a vocation or lack of it. Read the gospels. Was ANY of those guys “worthy” of being called by Christ? No. He prepared them, taught them and made them worthy.

 

[anode]

Actually, you and I may not that be far off. Part of the reason why I feel it’s insulting both to me, the vocation, and the religion is that few people realized just how horrifying to the religious people here the world of the underground otaku can be… a world that I regrettably descend to every now and then when I become desperate for ideas. >_>;;

People who suggest me the priesthood seriously need to look inside my mind. Then again, to quote the translation of a certain Japanese song: “If anyone where to look inside my head, I’d be arrested for sure.” >_<;

I doubt my family’s the type to condemn me for being single. Heck a majority of my aunts on my mother’s side are all single and well into their thirties and forties.

However, I do feel insulted when people see me as single and see my inability to find the girl I want as a “sign from God” that I’m meant for the priesthood.

Look I wouldn’t care if that person were sincere or just plain kidding, anybody who thinks that way about me seriously overestimates their knowledge about me. Why would God want me as a priest? I’m a borderline freak! The priesthood does not need another scandalous member. >:\

Actually, now that I think about it. It’s probably near 12 years. I must have miscalculated. I was picked on for being a crybaby from Grade I-III. After that, my hobbies became the subject of ridicule from Grade IV-VI. In all my four years of high-school, I’ve had at least one main tormentor. My first year in college was a bit like that too until I opened up and people realized exactly just how much of it I’ve had to put up.

To be honest though, my victim days are over. I’ve quit being too sensitive and I was a pretty stupid kid too in my own right back in those days. Still, that doesn’t mean they haven’t left some kind of mark.

I’m terribly insecure and while I’ve pretty much forgiven the people who picked on me, the things they say sort of become a bodiless, voiceless emotion of fear whenever I find myself in a situation that needs confidence (which pretty much means a good majority of the time… sighs). I don’t hear words anymore but I still have a hard time feeling good about anything I do.

Your prayers are appreciated but like I said, I’m not being picked on anymore. I’ve done a bit of growing up myself.

Still, I’m not sure if I can ever “get close” to God in the manner you’re describing. Like I said, I’m pretty Catholic but only as far as morals and political stances go. I’m in no way pious. I’m satisfied with just going to mass on Sundays (and a yearly Confession if possible). Other than that, I’m more likely to devote myself to my geeky hobbies and even schoolwork (nightmarish it may be sometimes) than novenas and liturgies.

I suggest that you seek out counseling before you consider a spiritual director. You may be able to get counseling at your school. You’ve suffered a lot from verbal abuse, bullying, maybe more–physical abuse? (Where was your family or school teachers during this period? Bullying now, since Columbine, isn’t tolerated in schools.) I was bullied for years,-- too young for my grade, too tall, precocious–and ended up seeing 3 psychiatrists for years to straighten things out. My life did straighten out, but was blighted by this experience. You sound depressed–you may need treatment for this.

I think that people aren’t complimenting you–they are commenting on your serious, withdrawn personality. They have a stereotype about ‘priests’ (they probably mean you should become a monk!). It doesn’t sound as if you necessarily have a vocation at all. You owe it to yourself to seek help soon and get over this. There are people out there who will invade your privacy and try to bully you throughout your life. You must learn to defend yourself. A lot of bullied people recover in college, when their abilities are recognized–you can be one of these people.

As far as girls go, you might seek out venues in which to meet a more serious-minded or athletic girl. “Interest” clubs–languages, culture, films, outdoors, hiking, including singles hiking–groups like this usually attract more women than men. Do not trust bars or meeting them casually. Find some way to ‘screen’ them first. “Otaku” probably isn’t going to attract the sort of girl you’re interested in.

 

[dhoang417]

Now see, there’s the problem.
However, I have listened to my heart and I truly believe it’s too black for the standards of purity demanded by the priesthood. :\

It can’t be both?

If you truly believe that your heart is too black than this also presumes that you also believe that there must also be a standard in order to be called by God to be a priest. God is not limited by our weaknesses in anyway. No one is can be “worth it” to be called to a be priest of God … God chooses who He wants when He wants. It’s a gift to be called. One is never worthy to be called.

Just look in the gospels. Matthew, was a tax collector, and in those times tax collectors were known for their sinfulness. Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. And Judas betrayed the Lord. Peter, our first pope, denied the Lord three times. Yet, Jesus called them all to follow him unconditionally. They had the freedom to do as they wished…

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

That assumption would be wrong. I am honored that these people believe that I am spiritually, emotionally, and morally pious enough.

Well here’s the thing: I don’t. I mean if anybody were to assume I was in a humorous manner, I’d be a little irked; those who do so naively will induce embarrassment and a major guilt trip. >_>;;

The point is that you think about it, you consult if you want to and you follow God’s lead. There is no need to be offended. God’s call is not about us; it’s about him.

Well I have and have actually come to some interesting conclusions. None of them lead to priesthood though. I just simply consider it a, eh, a sort of a double tease when people suggest me to be something I am neither clean enough (and am not exactly willing to be clean enough) or stable enough to withstand the celibate solitude of religious life.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

So?.. go to confession, recieve Jesus in the sacraments frequently, pray frequently… if God truly wants you to be a priest He’ll have you regardless of your past… but you have to be open to it (which means repentence & a firm desire/will to do the will of God). That being said maybe He doesnt want you to be a priest… but you won’t know until you try to follow Him.

Erm, well the thing is even if I were to get rid of the fetishist, I’d still be with myself… my violence-fascinated, gung-ho, right-wing justice lovin’ self.

So like I said, even if you were take out that imp in my head who fills my head with his disturbing cosplay fantasies, I’m not sure I’m willing to part with my love for seeing things blow up.

would you feel insulted if somebody said, hey you would make a good teacher/doctor/fireman/scientist/programmer/writer?

Because those professions don’t carry the same moral and spiritual burdens a priest has! D8 I mean think about it, none of those jobs demand the high moral standard of the religious in the public eye. Doctors, writers, lawyers, teachers… if any of those were caught in a scandalous position, the world is just not gonna be shocked enough (heck I wish it would be) compared to the vocation of a priest (especially these days).

you are taking your feelings, your personal deep knowledge of yourself, and projecting them on the people who talk to you this way, and expecting them to have knowledge that belongs only to you. That is unjust and unreasonable.

Well you’re wrong about one thing, I take a little more kindly to people who don’t know me (which, fortunately for you, includes a lot of people; my family included). The trouble comes if someone were to still insist after they find out how I’m not exactly cut out for the cloth.

If these are people close to you who have reason to know something about you, at least listen as you would if they talk about any other serious subject. If they are only superficial acquaintances, take such a remark as well-meaning, in the same sense as “Have a nice day” even if you are having a bad day.

I can do the former easy. The latter? Sorry but the fact that I’m lonely, I’m single, and am something many traditional Catholics would find appalling would make it hard to accept such a comment in any way positive.

Your personal feelings of worthiness should be considered but are not by any means the best indication of a vocation or lack of it. Read the gospels. Was ANY of those guys “worthy” of being called by Christ? No. He prepared them, taught them and made them worthy.

Yeah he changed them and took out what made them worry. That’s the problem. Sure I’m willing to break any sexually sinful habits but those aren’t the only things demanded by the priesthood are they? Christ was a pacifist. I’m not. Christ wasn’t competitive. I am. Christ doesn’t swear or enjoy fighting. I do. >_>;;

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I suggest that you seek out counseling before you consider a spiritual director. You may be able to get counseling at your school. You’ve suffered a lot from verbal abuse, bullying, maybe more–physical abuse? (Where was your family or school teachers during this period? Bullying now, since Columbine, isn’t tolerated in schools.) I was bullied for years,-- too young for my grade, too tall, precocious–and ended up seeing 3 psychiatrists for years to straighten things out. My life did straighten out, but was blighted by this experience. You sound depressed–you may need treatment for this.

More verbal than physical; it only got physical when I finally snapped but I haven’t done any real damage every time I did. Those people were lucky I was just a fat, stupid kid back then.

Also, I have tried seeing a counselor a few times (which is the best I can get seeing as school counselors are always so booked even in college… no wait especially in college >_>;; ). So far I’m not sure if it’s enough and have managed to get over for the most part… just not the part that I’ve lost most, if not all my self-esteem. ):

I think that people aren’t complimenting you–they are commenting on your serious, withdrawn personality. They have a stereotype about ‘priests’ (they probably mean you should become a monk!). It doesn’t sound as if you necessarily have a vocation at all. You owe it to yourself to seek help soon and get over this. There are people out there who will invade your privacy and try to bully you throughout your life. You must learn to defend yourself. A lot of bullied people recover in college, when their abilities are recognized–you can be one of these people.

Yeah you can say that. And maybe you are right, maybe the reason why they tell me to be a priest is because of that stereotype. -.-;; I have stood up for myself though without getting crazy and I have managed to quit being too sensitive to what people say (I mostly just roll my eyes now). I just wish I could get more of the recognition that you’re talking about. It seems to be coming but only in small amounts and still not at a rate compared to how much I get criticism.

As far as girls go, you might seek out venues in which to meet a more serious-minded or athletic girl. “Interest” clubs–languages, culture, films, outdoors, hiking, including singles hiking–groups like this usually attract more women than men. Do not trust bars or meeting them casually. Find some way to ‘screen’ them first. “Otaku” probably isn’t going to attract the sort of girl you’re interested in.

Trust me, I do my best to hide the geek but then again, the geek is who I am. Also, I’m not exactly going for a regular girl here. No offense but two of the bullies I had in high-school were girls that were sort of like the ones you’re talking about (strong-minded and athletic) and they’re practically the main reasons why I didn’t enjoy my high school days. They’re also the reasons why I’ll never fall for girls like that. They’re too dominating and independent (heck one of them ended up a lesbian). -_- I have female friends with similar personalities but they’ll always stay that way, just friends.