When purity rings don't cut it

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So, I’m having trouble again. We have kept our promise, but the challenge seems to get tougher each day. I feel like we keep starting over and going in the same direction over and over. I want to be able to stop thinking about it all the time. help!:confused:
 
Hang in there.

Remember that the real, true purpose of love is to see the other one in Heaven. When your body starts telling you what it wants, talk back to it, saying “I’d rather make sure my sweetheart gets to Heaven.”

Practical suggestions… Kiss the top of his head. Give side-to-side hugs instead of face-to-face. Keep your hands off each other’s erogenous zones - which are not always the parts covered by underwear! Everyone’s are different. That’s why hand-holding may work for some, but not for others! I’m sure you know where each other’s are.

Exercise, and soak in a nice warm bath. That should help you relax. If not, try that old cliche, a cold shower!

And promise that lusty body of yours that there’s a lifetime of satisfaction ahead.

Try to avoid saying, “Soon, soon!” That probably feeds it.

When you begin to fantasize, change the thought to rolling naked in 3 feet of snow…

OK, now I’m getting silly. :rolleyes:

I’m sure you’ll make it. Your heart’s in the right place. I hope something I’ve said helps.

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
Read and discuss a book together. Maybe a theology of the body book to confirm the great decision you made to stop having sex and wait until marriage. Way to go 👍 .
 
Thank you all so much. It means a great deal to me that I’m not alone in my struggles. However, I am still having some trouble. Yes, I went to confession, and God forgave me totally. Now, how do i totally forgive myself. I know I have made a good decision, but sometimes I have a difficult time remembering how to forgive and forget like God does. Help!
 
sonolady06 said:
Thank you all so much. It means a great deal to me that I’m not alone in my struggles. However, I am still having some trouble. Yes, I went to confession, and God forgave me totally. Now, how do i totally forgive myself. I know I have made a good decision, but sometimes I have a difficult time remembering how to forgive and forget like God does. Help!
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There is no forgetting… and I wouldn’t even suggest that because you’re denying yourself the ability to learn from your mistake. Your fiancee doesn’t seem to mind being chaste til the wedding night… that, to me, says that he loves you more than you love yourself… that’s a good lesson, through my eyes. Not many women can find men like that.

Your mistake can be seen as a reminder of how much your fiancee loves you. In understanding that, you have already forgiven yourself.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
sonolady06 said:
Thank you all so much. It means a great deal to me that I’m not alone in my struggles. However, I am still having some trouble. Yes, I went to confession, and God forgave me totally. Now, how do i totally forgive myself. I know I have made a good decision, but sometimes I have a difficult time remembering how to forgive and forget like God does. Help!
Click to expand...
Sometimes that can be the hardest part: forgiving yourself. Of course, you pray for the grace to do so. As often as you feel tempted to be down on yourself over past sins, take the opportunity to remind yourself that God has already forgiven you. Thus, why should we dwell on what God has already forgiven?

It takes time. I can’t think of any short cuts. But it is possible!
 
Hello, everyone. It’s been seven months now, and we have still kept our promise. however, that is not to say there have not been obstacles. I still struggle with drawing boundaries. I often look to Catholic sources for guidance, but there is a wide spectrum of opinions on what is moral. I have OCD, and a symptom of that is feeling guilty for things you didn’t do. So, that part of my brain is not helpful in making moral choices. Any thoughts on how to figure this out?🤷
 
How close are you to your wedding now? Does this mean you are only 5 months away?

Keep up the good work! Whatever you have been doing must be working to stay true to your promise for seven months!! That’s wonderful!!

The second you start to feel tempted to go where you should not be going - change locations. Physically move your body to another location, and keep moving until it goes away. If this means walking circles in the living room, then do it. Turn on the radio and start dancing if it helps!! (but no slow dancing!!! 😉 )

Stay strong - you will be SOOOO happy on your wedding night that you waited. My husband and I decided to wait until we were married to be together, and even though it was VERY hard at times, it was so very worth it for us. And for the majority of our engagement we were 3,000 miles apart until he moved here from England! Talk about temptation, I wanted to jump him when he got off the plane the last time! 😊

You can do this - keep praying and hang in there!! And keep coming here to talk it out of your system too if that helps.

~Liza
 
But what is too far? We stay away from extremes, but it seems there is a large middle ground.
 
sonolady06 said:
But what is too far? We stay away from extremes, but it seems there is a large middle ground.
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It really is quite simple. You are not married, so don’t act like you are. If kissing and holding each other leads to trouble, then don’t do it. If holding hands leads you to trouble, then don’t do it.

Only YOU know what your thresholds are, we don’t. You need to know your limits and stay within them. You are grown ups - at least I hope you are, otherwise you should not be getting married. Grown ups should be able to control themselves. So just act like a grown up who knows what’s more important - the state of your eternal soul.

~Liza
 
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