When should I just give up?

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yobrosup

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It’s a half rhetorical question, but I get so down on myself from falling into the sins of impurity over and over. Frequent confessions, fasting, nearly daily mass, begging our Lord to help me…all for what? 48 hours of purity?

I know it’s despair, but maybe some people aren’t meant for heaven. Maybe the JHW peeps are right and that very very few people ever make it. There are a lot of saints that tell us the vast majority of people go to hell…when should we just accept our fate and live the life we have now? I know how far I am from being a Saint (could I be any farther??). I know I hate my sins and love our Lord, but that’s not enough it seems since I can’t get far enough away from my sin.

*‘Lord, are they few that are saved? But he said to them: Strive to enter by the narrow gate; for many, I say to you, shall seek to enter, and shall not be able.’ *

I seek to enter and constantly fail.

*‘Not all, nor even a majority, are saved. . . They are indeed many, if regarded by themselves, but they are few in comparison with the far larger number of those who shall be punished with the devil.’

St. Augustine, Doctor and Father of the Church*

*‘The number of the elect is so small - so small - that were we to know how small it is, we should faint away with grief. The number of the elect is so small that were God to assemble them together, He would cry to them, as He did of old, by the mouth of His prophet, ‘Gather yourselves together, one by one’ - one from this province, one from that kingdom.’

St. Louis Marie de Montfort*

‘Our chronicles relate an even more dreadful happening. One of our brothers, well-known for his doctrine and holiness, was preaching in Germany. He represented the ugliness of the sin of impurity so forceful that a woman fell dead of sorrow in front of everyone. Then, coming back to life, she said, "When I was presented before the Tribunal of God, sixty thousand people arrived at the same time from all parts of the world; out of that number, three were saved by going to Purgatory, and all the rest were damned.’
St. Leonard of Port Maurice

If I were to sum up my spiritual state in one word: Tired. I’m tired of fighting and begging and being thirsty for virtue and being left dry. I have to force myself to pray throughout the day with abject shame to our Lord and Blessed Mother with the nagging belief that I am damned. When Christ said “It would be better for him if he had not been born,” was he only speaking about one man?
 
Have you ever listened to the homilies at AudioSancto.org? They are a fountain of information, given by orthodox priests. Two different homilies came to mind when I saw your post:

Temptation is a gift from God
This priest talks about how God only allows the amount of temptation that he knows you can handle.

Modesty of the eyes
This gives some fantastic tips on what to do about temptations of the flesh. This priest rocks all over the place.

You also might want to take a listen to this:
**
Difficulties in mental prayer**
This homily will give some clarity and perspective on problems during prayer, including dryness and distraction. This homily is by one of the priests who is featured on AudioSancto.org, but it’s not listed on that site for some reason. You can hear the Father’s entire series on prayer at this web site, and they start in early 2010.
 
yobrosup said:
It’s a half rhetorical question, but I get so down on myself from falling into the sins of impurity over and over. Frequent confessions, fasting, nearly daily mass, begging our Lord to help me…all for what? 48 hours of purity?

I know it’s despair, but maybe some people aren’t meant for heaven. Maybe the JHW peeps are right and that very very few people ever make it. There are a lot of saints that tell us the vast majority of people go to hell…when should we just accept our fate and live the life we have now? I know how far I am from being a Saint (could I be any farther??). I know I hate my sins and love our Lord, but that’s not enough it seems since I can’t get far enough away from my sin.

*‘Lord, are they few that are saved? But he said to them: Strive to enter by the narrow gate; for many, I say to you, shall seek to enter, and shall not be able.’ *

I seek to enter and constantly fail.

*‘Not all, nor even a majority, are saved. . . They are indeed many, if regarded by themselves, but they are few in comparison with the far larger number of those who shall be punished with the devil.’

St. Augustine, Doctor and Father of the Church*

*‘The number of the elect is so small - so small - that were we to know how small it is, we should faint away with grief. The number of the elect is so small that were God to assemble them together, He would cry to them, as He did of old, by the mouth of His prophet, ‘Gather yourselves together, one by one’ - one from this province, one from that kingdom.’

St. Louis Marie de Montfort*

‘Our chronicles relate an even more dreadful happening. One of our brothers, well-known for his doctrine and holiness, was preaching in Germany. He represented the ugliness of the sin of impurity so forceful that a woman fell dead of sorrow in front of everyone. Then, coming back to life, she said, "When I was presented before the Tribunal of God, sixty thousand people arrived at the same time from all parts of the world; out of that number, three were saved by going to Purgatory, and all the rest were damned.’
St. Leonard of Port Maurice

If I were to sum up my spiritual state in one word: Tired. I’m tired of fighting and begging and being thirsty for virtue and being left dry. I have to force myself to pray throughout the day with abject shame to our Lord and Blessed Mother with the nagging belief that I am damned. When Christ said “It would be better for him if he had not been born,” was he only speaking about one man?
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When should you just give up? That’s an easy one! After you die!

There was once a young monk who had problems with temptations against purity. So, he sought out an old, wise hermit monk for advice. He asked the old monk, “At what point in a person’s life does he stop having these sort of temptations.” The old monk thought for a minute, then he looked at the young monk and said, “Well, from what I hear, about three days after they put you in the ground.”

Without temptation, there is no virtue.

There was one of the Saints who had a problem with his temper, so he went before the tabernacle and prayed for like four hours that the Lord would grant him patience with others. After he finished, he walked out of the church. Someone bumped into him and he flew off the handle again! So, he went right back into church and asked the Lord, “I thought I just asked you for patience?!” The Lord answered, “Well, I just gave you an opportunity to practice patience.”

The big difference between those who are Saints and those who are not, isn’t that they never sinned. It is that when they did sin, they got right back up (went to Confession) and tried again. Perseverance is key here!
 
yobrosup said:
It’s a half rhetorical question, but I get so down on myself from falling into the sins of impurity over and over. Frequent confessions, fasting, nearly daily mass, begging our Lord to help me…all for what? 48 hours of purity?

I know it’s despair, but maybe some people aren’t meant for heaven. Maybe the JHW peeps are right and that very very few people ever make it. There are a lot of saints that tell us the vast majority of people go to hell…when should we just accept our fate and live the life we have now? I know how far I am from being a Saint (could I be any farther??). I know I hate my sins and love our Lord, but that’s not enough it seems since I can’t get far enough away from my sin.

*‘Lord, are they few that are saved? But he said to them: Strive to enter by the narrow gate; for many, I say to you, shall seek to enter, and shall not be able.’ *

I seek to enter and constantly fail.

*‘Not all, nor even a majority, are saved. . . They are indeed many, if regarded by themselves, but they are few in comparison with the far larger number of those who shall be punished with the devil.’

St. Augustine, Doctor and Father of the Church*

*‘The number of the elect is so small - so small - that were we to know how small it is, we should faint away with grief. The number of the elect is so small that were God to assemble them together, He would cry to them, as He did of old, by the mouth of His prophet, ‘Gather yourselves together, one by one’ - one from this province, one from that kingdom.’

St. Louis Marie de Montfort*

‘Our chronicles relate an even more dreadful happening. One of our brothers, well-known for his doctrine and holiness, was preaching in Germany. He represented the ugliness of the sin of impurity so forceful that a woman fell dead of sorrow in front of everyone. Then, coming back to life, she said, "When I was presented before the Tribunal of God, sixty thousand people arrived at the same time from all parts of the world; out of that number, three were saved by going to Purgatory, and all the rest were damned.’
St. Leonard of Port Maurice

If I were to sum up my spiritual state in one word: Tired. I’m tired of fighting and begging and being thirsty for virtue and being left dry. I have to force myself to pray throughout the day with abject shame to our Lord and Blessed Mother with the nagging belief that I am damned. When Christ said “It would be better for him if he had not been born,” was he only speaking about one man?
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NEVER. GIVE. UP. If you can do 48 hours of purity, you can do 49. If you can do 49, you can do 50. Just take it minute by minute, concentrate more on the process than the results. You are made in the image and likeness of God; He made you to love and serve him in this life AND TO BE HAPPY WITH HIM IN THE NEXT. The JW’s don’t know what they are talking about, ignore them. The rest is personal opinion and private revelation, you are under no obligation to believe it.
 
yobrosup: Don’t give up. Everybody messes up in life. The fact that you wrote this thread and the fact that you are part of CAF shows that you are seeking God. That says so much. Just keep seeking God and when things start to “look bad” just say “Jesus.” You can’t sin when you are saying “Jesus.” And (coming from somebody who messes up all the time :eek: ) that works. If you feel sin coming on… make sure you are looking at God and say (either outloud or in your head) “Jesus” and it will be easier to turn away from the sin.

My Mom used to teach me to say “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph help me!” and they will. That has saved my Mom from a bad car accident (I know, not a sin, but the same idea) and has helped her make decisions. 👍

Pray all the time and remember that God loves you. No matter what. 😃
 
Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I just wish I could shake this feeling of “lostness.”
 
I notice you quoted St. Augustine. Remember him. Remember his life. I have felt similarly to you, but, in the words of a priest I know, “I think more people should have St. Augustine as a patron.” More than Mary, more than Jesus, more than any other saint in the history of the Church, St. Augustine has given me the confidence to face yet one more week of battery. I fall, like you. I fail, like you. I despair, I presume. And, most of all I know that, if it were up to me and my abilities and my virtues, I would end up in Satan’s lap.

I have come to this conclusion (which I am going to share with my spiritual director in an hour; I would suggest you find one): I am not afraid of Hell. If I end up in Hell, it is only what I deserve. I will, however, so long as I am able, serve our Lord to the best of my ability. THAT is my purpose. My fate is not as important as rendering service and glory to my God and King. It is for that reason that I refuse to give up. All the angels, all the Saints, and God Eternal know I do not even deserve to step foot into a church, let alone heaven; that I do not deserve to even take another breath. It is by the Grace of God that I am able to do so.

I hope this will help you. I think far too many Christians are far more concerned about themselves than Christ. I pray to become a saint. Not because I want to make it to heaven, but because it is the saint who offers their life to Christ totally, without regard for themselves. Pax tecum.
 
actualy everyone IS meant for Heaven. The reason they don’t go to Heaven is because THEY don’t accept God’s grace. But Christ died to save them.

He told St Faustina… “souls perish in spite of My bitter Passion”. He said, every loss of a soul brings Him great grief! when we despair, that is what we are doing to Him.

don’t despair…

there’s a devotion that helped me, it’s called the cord of St Philomena… you might want to look into that 🙂 it’s for purity. rosescapular.net/Cord-of-St-Philomena-4001.htm
miraclerosarymission.org/philocord.html

Consider this:

God is Merciful to the Good Fighter
George Kalpouzos

A monk, as Saint Amphilochios relates, fell into fornication. From then on, he committed the same sin every day. Each time after the sin, he prayed with tears in his eyes for Jesus Christ to have mercy on him. Blinded by this bad habit, he committed the sin repeatedly. Immediately he rushed to the church, knelt in front of the icon of Christ and said with tears in his eyes, “Have mercy on me, oh Lord, and take away from me this temptation that makes me suffer and wounds my soul. I can’t see your face so that my soul can find peace.” After he said these words and left the church, he committed the same sin again. He didn’t lose hope for his salvation and he came back to the church praying the same way to the merciful God: “You are my witness, oh Lord, that from now on I will never commit this sin again. Oh loving God, forgive me for my past up to this moment for I have hurt You.” He committed “his lovely” sin again. His spiritual struggle lasted ten years.

Behold, the endless mercy of our Master and Lord Jesus Christ!

Finally, one day this monk committed the same sin. He rushed to the church weeping, crying and praying with tears in his eyes to the merciful God.

When the devil saw the persistent repentance of the monk, he appeared bodily in front of the monk and with wrath questioned God saying:

“Why do You accept this licentious and prodigal man who lies to You every day? Why don’t You cast him into fire? You are merciful to put up with him. You are not a righteous judge, but a one-sided one. You threw me down from heaven for just one sin of arrogance, but You forgive this perpetual lying, licentious and prodigal man because he cries before You. Where is Your righteousness?”

Then the voice of the Lord was heard from the altar saying:

“Evil and unclean spirit, aren’t you yet satisfied to lead the world into perdition? Do you want to grasp also him who bows before My mercy? Can you hold so many sins against him that they counter My Holy Blood that I have shed on the Cross for him? When he commits a sin, you don’t send him away but accept him happily. And you don’t discourage him for YOU wish to gain him. As I am merciful and have befriended man, how can you expect Me not to show mercy on him who draws near Me in repentance? I will never reject him until he becomes My heir. I was crucified for sinners and to save everyone who comes to Me.”

As soon as the devil heard the voice of the Lord, he started trembling, unable to move or say a word.

“Listen carefully, devilish spirit, who calls Me unjust. I am all righteous. I will judge each one under the circumstances he is in. Behold, I will save his soul and accept him who recently returned to me in repentance and contrition because he didn’t despair, but rather struggled for his salvation.”

At that time, the monk gave up his soul.

My beloved readers, do you understand how ineffable is God’s love and immeasurable is His mercy? Let us not neglect our salvation. Watch out not to fall into despair.
 
As long as you keep TRYING, you can be saved.

“You make me think of a little child that is learning to stand but does not yet know how to walk. In his desire to reach the top of the stairs to find his mother, he lifts his little foot to climb the first step. It is all in vain, and at each renewed effort he falls. Well, be like that little child. Always keep lifting your foot to climb the ladder of holiness, and do not imagine that you can mount even the first step. **All God asks of you is good will. From the top of the ladder, He looks lovingly upon you, and soon, touched by your fruitless efforts, He will Himself come down, and taking you in His arms, will carry you to His Kingdom never again to leave Him. **But should you cease to raise your foot, you will be left for long on the earth.” St Therese of Lisieux
 
ZDHayden said:
I notice you quoted St. Augustine. Remember him. Remember his life. I have felt similarly to you, but, in the words of a priest I know, “I think more people should have St. Augustine as a patron.” More than Mary, more than Jesus, more than any other saint in the history of the Church, St. Augustine has given me the confidence to face yet one more week of battery. I fall, like you. I fail, like you. I despair, I presume. And, most of all I know that, if it were up to me and my abilities and my virtues, I would end up in Satan’s lap.

I have come to this conclusion (which I am going to share with my spiritual director in an hour; I would suggest you find one): I am not afraid of Hell. If I end up in Hell, it is only what I deserve. I will, however, so long as I am able, serve our Lord to the best of my ability. THAT is my purpose. My fate is not as important as rendering service and glory to my God and King. It is for that reason that I refuse to give up. All the angels, all the Saints, and God Eternal know I do not even deserve to step foot into a church, let alone heaven; that I do not deserve to even take another breath. It is by the Grace of God that I am able to do so.

I hope this will help you. I think far too many Christians are far more concerned about themselves than Christ. I pray to become a saint. Not because I want to make it to heaven, but because it is the saint who offers their life to Christ totally, without regard for themselves. Pax tecum.
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I pray to be less self-centered. Thank you.
 
Monica4316 said:
As long as you keep TRYING, you can be saved.

“You make me think of a little child that is learning to stand but does not yet know how to walk. In his desire to reach the top of the stairs to find his mother, he lifts his little foot to climb the first step. It is all in vain, and at each renewed effort he falls. Well, be like that little child. Always keep lifting your foot to climb the ladder of holiness, and do not imagine that you can mount even the first step. **All God asks of you is good will. From the top of the ladder, He looks lovingly upon you, and soon, touched by your fruitless efforts, He will Himself come down, and taking you in His arms, will carry you to His Kingdom never again to leave Him. **But should you cease to raise your foot, you will be left for long on the earth.” St Therese of Lisieux
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Your story of the monk and the child are very beautiful. As a Father myself, I relate to the story of the child and plead for our Father’s patience.
 
yobrosup said:
It’s a half rhetorical question, but I get so down on myself from falling into the sins of impurity over and over. Frequent confessions, fasting, nearly daily mass, begging our Lord to help me…all for what? 48 hours of purity?

I know it’s despair, but maybe some people aren’t meant for heaven. Maybe the JHW peeps are right and that very very few people ever make it… . . ?
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I know your pain. 😦 I had an accident where I blashemied the Holy Spirit and I feel I will be wihout God until I see a priest, maybe forever. It hurts and Ive resigned myself to that very few of us will make it. Its not Gods fault. Well probably go to hell anyway for sins. But dont ever give up. Live as good a life you can even if you go to hell. Because at least youll know you tried. Dont ever give up
 
Misguidedyouth said:
I know your pain. 😦 I had an accident where I blashemied the Holy Spirit and I feel I will be wihout God until I see a priest, maybe forever. It hurts and Ive resigned myself to that very few of us will make it. Its not Gods fault. Well probably go to hell anyway for sins. But dont ever give up. Live as good a life you can even if you go to hell. Because at least youll know you tried. Dont ever give up
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It is Christ who guides you Misguidedyouth. Will you go to confession?
 
Do not despair! Sin often makes us feel lost and far away from God. That’s why it is sin.

Remember, the saints aren’t saints because they never sinned – nor even because they sinned less than the average person. They are saints because they never stopped turning back to God.

As often as we stumble, we need to get back up and keep going.

You are not alone! Many (probably most) of us have been there more often than we would like to be. It can certainly be demoralizing when the Sacrament of Confession starts to feel like delivering a well-rehearsed speech. But the worst thing we can do is to give up.

If it is only 48 hours between Confession and falling into sin, praise God for the grace of those 48 hours and try to make it at least 72 hours next time.

Sins of impurity can be very difficult to break free from. When vice becomes habitual, it can be hard to develop the necessary virtue to overcome it. But our God is a God of mercy who will never be outdone in generosity. More than any of us here, He knows and understands what you are going through. Of course, that does not give us free license to sin without worrying about the consequences. But it does give us a great reason to hope and entrust ourselve to His infinite mercy.

I will keep you in my prayers. Please pray for me, too. God bless, and welcome to CAF. 👋
 
Friends, this is the most depressing thread I have ever read, and I truly mean ever.😦

Do you really believe that the majority of us will go to hell, no matter how good a life we live?. I don’t believe that for one minute.:nope:

I am aiming for Heaven; but, if I make Purgatory, I know that eventually I will make Heaven.:harp:

yobrosup, just keep praying; ask St. Michael and your Guardian Angel to help you. Pray the St. Michael Chaplet every day. And I will remember you in my prayers.

:amen:
 
mullenpm said:
Friends, this is the most depressing thread I have ever read, and I truly mean ever.😦

Do you really believe that the majority of us will go to hell, no matter how good a life we live?. I don’t believe that for one minute.:nope:

I am aiming for Heaven; but, if I make Purgatory, I know that eventually I will make Heaven.:harp:

yobrosup, just keep praying; ask St. Michael and your Guardian Angel to help you. Pray the St. Michael Chaplet every day. And I will remember you in my prayers.

:amen:
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Depressing or not…I want the Truth. This link is a listing of dozens of quotes from the Saints on the subject. It is a big downer and I try to balance it with a recognition of God’s love and mercy:

saintsquotes.net/selection%20-%20fewness.html
 
yobrosup said:
If I were to sum up my spiritual state in one word: Tired. I’m tired of fighting and begging and being thirsty for virtue and being left dry. I have to force myself to pray throughout the day with abject shame to our Lord and Blessed Mother with the nagging belief that I am damned. When Christ said “It would be better for him if he had not been born,” was he only speaking about one man?
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We are in the same boat. Perhaps you should read some of my threads to see whether you identify with me!
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=547559

Now I don’t feel down and depressed, because I have stopped trying with my own strength. I realized that I was fighting it on my own strength and failing every time and then feeling depressed. You cannot fight it on your own strength. So if you fail, there is no need to be disappointed, because you could not have overcome it by yourself any way. When I realized this, I began following this strategy -

Reading the Bible daily.
Praying for deliverance from sin.
Avoiding near occasions of sin.
Going to confession immediately after falling (even if it is imperfect contrition).
Being accountable to someone.

If you follow these 5 steps, you will recover. I don’t feel tired and frustrated any more when I fall into sin. I just say to myself that I fell because of my human weakness, but I will rise because of the power of Christ and the power of his word. The lesson for me was to give up my pride trying to fight it on my own strength and getting the strength from Christ each time I fall. Every time I fall, I go to confession and simply confess my sin and tell Christ I failed. Dont try to put limits on his forgiveness. He is God. He can forgive more than you can sin. So I just resign before him and accept his free forgiveness and get up again. Ultimately, I have faith that Christ will deliver me from this. You can send me PM if you want to discuss more.
 
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