When Should I Start NFP?

[Brenda]

Hey Everybody,

I just got engaged this month, but our wedding date isn’t until 06/20/09, but I’ve heard that should track your cycle for quite awhile before you start, uh, being intimate in order for NFP to be accurate, so how long before I get married should start NFP? I’ll right in the middle of my Master’s program when get married and we’d like to wait until I’m finished to start our family.

 

[kristacecilia]

The more cycles you have recorded, the more information you will have when it comes time to do NFP. I am familiar with the STM method taught by the Couple to Couple League, and I know some of the rules you need to have 6-12 cycles recorded before you can apply them to your situation.

At the same time, knowing NFP and feeling confident as to when you will not get pregnant takes away a certain fear from having relations before marriage. Engagment is a very difficult time enough, in regards to purity. That is why the Church encourages shorter engagements (6-12 months). I noticed it will still be 18 months before you are married. I am not saying you made a poor choice in being engaged so long, I just want to bring to your attention the potential temptations involved.

So, I guess I would say 6-12 cycles worth of charting is excellent information for future NFP use, especially if you have a grave reason to postpone immediately after entering marriage. Just be careful!

God bless you during this wonderful time.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I think you should start taking NFP classes with your future husband as soon as you can work it into your schedule.

My husband and I had a two-year engagement. I wanted the time to finance the entire event ourselves, and around here, wedding vendors (and churches, too) book 12-18 months out during the peak wedding season. We started NFP classes over a year before the wedding.

I got a lot of charting experience, but since we remained virgins until the night we wed, we were still a little nervous at first that it would work. With all of our friends/family expressing doubt, it was difficult to trust the process, you know? I’m glad we learned during our engagement, though, because I think the charting experience I gained did, in fact, remove a lot of the uncertainty.

 

[Teakafrog]

No time like the present! As others have said, the more information you have the better. If your cycles aren’t textbook, the longer you have to compare, the easier to figure out what’s going on. No reason to wait.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

The sooner you start, the better. The more charting information you have, the more reliably you can predict when you will be infertile around the marriage date (so that you can have a happy honeymoon without worrying about either mortal sin, complete abstinence, or a child).

A full year of charts would make your predictions fairly reliable.

 

[1ke]

You should strive to have at least 3-4 months of charting prior to marriage, but there’s no reason to wait. Start learning a method and charting now.

 

[agapewolf]

Immediately. I had health issues and it took at least 1 1/2 years to get those fixed before I can actually understand how to chart. (because my indicator in Creighton was messed up by the health issues).

Because of the health issues, it took longer to differentiate…it can still be done, but might take longer to get confidence., but then got the health stuff fixed, so needed a few months of charting that way to become confident.

and then stress can throw hormones off kilter… so it helps to be confident in observations

 

[mizznicole]

For Creighton model you need to abstain for 1 month when charting for the first time, so that would be the bare minimum!

Also, some NFP doctors like to have a certain number of cycles recorded before they see you - usually about 3.

It definitely does not hurt to have the charting for your own health monitoring. At the same time, I found a bunch of little problems when I was charting. When I investigated them with the OB, we could not find any cause. Ironically my first baby was miscarried, like the charts might indicate - but it wasn’t progesterone deficiency. Just one of those things.

I’m a strong advocate of Creighton because it’s the least amount of work, and I like the way it’s taught - 1 on 1.

 

[Brenda]

At the same time, knowing NFP and feeling confident as to when you will not get pregnant takes away a certain fear from having relations before marriage. Engagment is a very difficult time enough, in regards to purity. That is why the Church encourages shorter engagements (6-12 months). I noticed it will still be 18 months before you are married. I am not saying you made a poor choice in being engaged so long, I just want to bring to your attention the potential temptations involved.

Our long engagement is necessary to pay for our wedding, being an older couple, me in my late 20’s and he in his mid 30’s, our parents aren’t paying for it.

As for increased temptation, I don’t think starting NFP would make that worse. If we wanted to have sex without fear of getting pregnant we would–regardless. Using NFP outside of marriage for sex is just as premeditated as going out and buying a condom and amounts to the same thing.

Being a bit older than the average engaged couple doesn’t always make things easier, but we do have the advantage of both having made mistakes when were younger and understand how important being chaste before marriage is.

 

[kristacecilia]

Our long engagement is necessary to pay for our wedding, being an older couple, me in my late 20’s and he in his mid 30’s, our parents aren’t paying for it.

As for increased temptation, I don’t think starting NFP would make that worse. If we wanted to have sex without fear of getting pregnant we would–regardless. Using NFP outside of marriage for sex is just as premeditated as going out and buying a condom and amounts to the same thing.

Being a bit older than the average engaged couple doesn’t always make things easier, but we do have the advantage of both having made mistakes when were younger and understand how important being chaste before marriage is.

Great!

Very refreshing to hear.

 

[masondoggy]

I don’t think it’s ever too early to start. The more experience you have charting, the better. Keep in mind that you will be very stressed out in the months before the wedding and that is NOT a good time to get familiar with your cycles because they will most likely be wacky during that time. It’s better to learn it now and be familiar with your body. Besides, are you really going to have time for classes in the months before the wedding? You’re going to be extremely busy. Get it out of the way now.