When should I tell my Jewish father of my conversion to Catholicism?

[thefizzle656]

I am a 17-year-old (soon to be 18 years old) senior in high school, and I have a big dilemma. I was raised in a very Reform Jewish family, so the rest of my family is Jewish.

I have started RCIA at a local Catholic church, but haven’t told my father that I plan on becoming Catholic. I don’t want to tell him before I graduate high school because I would like to actually graduate from high school.

Telling him before I actually recieve the sacraments of initiation would mean that he would sabotage everything, and I would be forced to move out of the house, drop out of high school, and get a job in order to continue RCIA.

I plan on telling him after graduation, but I don’t know whether or not to tell him before college or after college. I have been reflecting on Matthew 10:32-38, in which Jesus states that anyone who denies him he will deny to his heavenly Father.

To me this applies to my situation and seems pretty clear cut. I have to tell my father at the risk of not going to college right after high school and having to pay for it on my own. Can you give me your advice as to what I should do? Thanks.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

While it is true that we should not deny our Christian convictions to others, the passage from Matthew does not mean that we cannot use prudence in choosing when to reveal to others Christian convictions they do not know that we have. If there is just cause to refrain from such a discussion, it can be legitimate to put it off until a more opportune time.

If you have reason to believe that your father will sabotage your reception into the Church and the completion of your high school diploma, that would be just reason to delay telling him of your conversion. However, if you put off telling him until after you graduate college because you want him to pay for your college education, that may not be just cause for continuing to keep your Christianity secret from your father (and it may mean that your father will feel taken advantage of, over and above his grief over your conversion).

Jewish conversions to Christianity are particularly difficult for Jewish families because of the painful history between Jews and Christians and because identity as a member of the Jewish people is important to Jews. One of the great fears of the Jewish community is of assimilation, particularly among children. This may be why your father may not receive well the news of your conversion. With love and respect from you, and the assurance of your continuing love for your people and your heritage, you may be able to make peace with your father over your conversion, while still following your conscience and becoming a Christian. St. Edith Stein, for example, was particularly concerned for her mother and did everything she could to console her mother while still entering the Church and becoming a Christian.

I recommend contacting the Association of Hebrew Catholics for more assistance during this difficult, yet joyful, time in your life. Welcome home!

Recommended reading:

Could the Bible Answer Man Go to Hell? by Jack Taylor
The Chief Rabbi’s Conversion by Fr. Arthur B. Klyber, C.Ss.R.
Bread From Heaven by Rhonda Chervin