When should we be confirmed?

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I voted OTHER…I believe Confirmation should be received when the person receiving the sacrament is ready to make the commitment to remain Catholic for the rest of his/her life.

I know too many ex-Catholics who were confirmed. Ask them what confirmation meant to them, and they’ll say “A good party with my family and friends in 8th grade” or something like that. They’ll remember the celebration but not the ritual because it held no significant meaning for them at that time. Even my husband and I remember it that way - we both went through Catholic schools. Only as an adult did I realize just how significant that event really was in my life.

I have two children, 14 and 16…we’re working with the 16 year old to prepare for confirmation this coming school year. His friends were already confirmed this year but he wasn’t ready (not that they were, according to my son. He knows most of the kids did it because ‘it was time’ and their parents signed them up.) Right now he sees preparation as meeting specific requirements - attending RE classes, doing community service, writing a personal essay…it’s a series of tasks to check off. He doesn’t feel he should be doing the tasks if his heart isn’t in it so we’ve opted to postpone the sacrament until his heart is ready.

We were disappointed, of course, but relieved too, that he was honest with us about his hesitation because it shows a healthy respect for the faith. My son doesn’t do things ‘just because’, he always has had to know the ‘why’ behind ‘what’ he does. I consider that a gift from God. So we’ve purchased several Catholic books, some recommended by Dr. Ray, others by friends and he’s spending some time with the Catechism. It’s our summer focus right now because religious ed will begin in September.
 
I also believe it should be received when the person is ready to make the commitment to remain Catholic for the rest of his/her life.
 
While I find many of the items discussed as being part and parcel of the current preparation to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, things like community service, essays, even the committment to a lifelong Catholic life, as being highly commendable and of much value in and of themselves, I believe they were “add-ons” to the Sacrament that have, over time, taken on a life of their own and “changed” the nature of the Sacrament in the eyes of many. All these things emphasize the current prevailing thought that the Sacrament of Confirmation is a sort of “rite of passage” in the life of a Catholic, something akin to the Jewish Bar Mitzvah. It is not.

Much discussion in this thread centers around when it is that a person has been adequately prepared to recieve this Sacrament. The answer is… when they have, by nature of their baptism, become part of Christ’s Church on Earth. Period.

The Sacrament of Confirmation is a sanctifying grace that is intended to bring down the Holy Spirit upon those receiving it in order to further strengthen their bond to the Holy Mother Church. The intent behind this sacrament was not for an individual to have to prove himself in order to receive it. Nor was it intended to mark any sort of chronological step in an individual’s life as a Catholic. Neither was it intended to be a sign of committment that a young Catholic makes to his faith. Yet many people today assume this Sacrament to be one or all of these things.

The Sacrament of Confirmation is a grace that God gives freely to those who are properly disposed to receive it… just as the Apostles freely “laid hands” upon the newly-baptized as they came upon them during their travels, bringing down the Holy Spirit to help them more fully live a Christian life.

(continued)
 
I fear that, over the years, we may have taken this Sacrament and used it as a “bargaining chip” with which to get our children to pay more attention to their religious life. The community service and the essays and the R.E. classes are all fine… but perhaps if we were to ensure these children already had the Holy Spirit working within them by not withholding this very important Sacrament until they’ve somehow proven themselves either by age or by action, perhaps the magnificent grace of this Sacrament will have already “done its job.” Perhaps the years from infancy through the teens is precisely the period in which our Catholic children most need the Spirit to be at work within them through this Sacrament. I feel that it’s wrong to withhold this very powerful grace from our children until they’ve, say, sat down and (begrudgingly, in many cases) written a letter to their bishop or helped out at a soup kitchen.

Again I stress - these acts are all highly commendable activities that, as followers of Christ, we would hope that all kids would want to do anyway. Maybe if they already had the strengthening grace of the Holy Spirit working within them through the Sacrament of Confirmation, well, maybe we’d find them somehow more receptive to giving of themselves as true Christians should.

a pilgrim
 
I was really surprized at how even the results are so far.

I voted middle school. I think a really good age is around 10-11 years old. When I was confirmed it was done in 3rd and 4th grade. By the time I was in 8th grade, we had moved and Confirmation there was 7th and 8th. Where I live now it is every other year with the kids being 10th and 11th grade (WAY too late!!).

I understand the reasoning behind the “age of reason” voters but … I taught the First Communion class this year and in the current educational environment, many of the 2nd and 3rd graders are not fluent readers. It is a struggle for them to get through the very easy First Communion Catechism. When I was confirmed, we were told we were becoming “soldiers for Christ”. Being in the Bible belt, that involves defending the Church and what she stands for. Ideally, when studying for Confirmation, I believe we should be giving our children some basic Apologetic tools. It would be very hard to teach this to emergent readers. Just my opinion. 🙂
 
Confirmation should be administered directly after First Communion. It is a completion of the Sacraments of Initiation and done as soon as possible. It is not something we dangle at teenagers, or need tons of preparation for.
Part of the problem with catechesis in this country is its focus on "Confirmation " as an end event of catholic education, instead of seeing it as a minor part od a life-long Catholic education ending at a holy death.
 
The practice of confirming children later than Baptism arose in the 10th-11th centuries. It initially sprang from diocesan bishops having a very difficult time travelling all around their dioceses to confer it. In the british isles parents were exhorted to bring their infants in for Confirmation, then told that if they did not have their infant confirmed before 1 yr old they were to refrain from Sacraments themselves, & if not by age three, to fast on bread and water til the kid was confirmed.

In the US, the geographical extent of the typical diocese prompted the early Spanish bishops here to petition Rome for permission to allow priests to regularly confer the Sacrament. Rome - in the midst of the Reformation crisis and oblivious of the fact of the geographic immensity of the Americas, refused. Over the next 400 yrs the “geographic custom” of delaying Confirmation gradually progressed to where it is now. Then, this “custom” attained the ‘force of law’, so to speak. Next, during the 1970s, catechists (in the immediate aftermath of Vatican II) were desperately trying to attract & keep the interest of confirmandi - who were increasingly disinterested in this or any other Sacrament. Some catechist concocted the nice sounding, but false, idea that Confirmation is ‘when YOU make your own choice to be Catholic’. From this it has now degenerated to 'waiting until ready–and this can’t be earlier than ____ ’ (fill in the blank with a later & later age).

Solution? Simple. Since God wants us to have this Sacrament, & since the Eastern Rites have been conferring it at the same ceremony as Baptism, then do that in the Latin Rite. Theologically, this Sacrament IS NOT about “ME MAKING A COMMITMENT” - IT IS NOT ME ‘CONFIRMING’ MY FAITH. Like ALL Sacraments, Confirmation is GOD DOING SOMETHING TO and FOR US!

**What God does in this Sacrament is ‘strengthen’ (the American English translation of ‘confirmation’) the soul with Faith, Hope and Love to resist the evils of doubt, despair and sin. As such, *OBVIOUSLY *it should be conferred in the same ceremony as Baptism. There is absolutely NO reason to delay giving the soul this strength from God as soon as possible. Those who - however innocently - say that children should be deprived of God’s grace til they’re “ready” are simply trying to hold children hostage to grace for the sake of a religious education program. Furthermore, since it is - just like Baptism - a Sacrament for babies as well as adults, anyone who “isn’t ready” for Confirmation is ineligible for Eucharist - which really DOES require acceptance and commitment on the part of the one receiving Him.
 
Hit my nerves with this one!! In my diocese the rel. ed. mavens have declared my children ineligible for God’s grace in this Sacrament til 16! And - of course - NONE of them have read Vat. II, the Gen. Catechetical Directory (of 1970 OR 1990), nor the Catechism, nor studied history. In short, they are measuring reality by their ignorance. And it’s God’s children who suffer this deprivation of grace. After all, grace hurts no one.
 
Here it is done in 12th Grade. Definitely dangling the carrot to keep the families participating in RE or Life Teen til the very end of school. There are a lot of strict rules about how long you must be attending the parish and whether your child was in RE last year that determine whether or not your child can be a First Communicant or receive Confirmation.

Personally, I have a 6 year old that has been begging to recieve the Eucharist since early last year. She certainly knows what the Eucharist is and she has gone into confession to tell the priest she was sorry for whatever was on her heart of her own volition! But will my parish consider letting a six-year-old recieve? Probably not.

As for Confirmation, I am split between thinking the earlier the better (so as to receive more graces) but also the idea of when the child has finished basic catechesis also has appeal. Unfortunately, the basic catechesis in question usually never comes! I helped teach the 4th grade RE at our parish last year and very few of those children seemed to participate in any religious devotions at home let alone instruction from the parents.

So they drift away, until they want to get married and have a church wedding! Suddenly, they want to be confirmed! Well, God uses mysterious ways and I’m sure many a person has come to new faith from the graces received even at such a make-haste confirmation.

Surely we can find some other way to mark the milestones of our children becoming adults besides confirmation? In fact, isn’t that what high school graduations used to be all about?
 
At the time I’m posting it’s divided evenly: 25% each.

I voted for around eighth grade. Dennis Prager had a discussion on his show recently about children needed a right of passage into adulthood. A Bar or Bat Mitzvah provides this for children that are Jewish and some non-Jewish young people around that age are asking to be Bar/Bat Mitzvahed, going to Hebrew school and everything.
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karisue:
As a youth minister in a parish that confirms 8th graders, I have a hard time getting kids to get active in the parish b/c they are already confirmed and therefore have no motivation to do so. If we confirm at any age other than the end of the senior year in high school, how do we keep kids involved after their confirmation? Good catechesis is important, but we can’t even seem to get them in the door!
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In the Diocese next door, the Bishop has decided that children will be confirmed around 2nd or 3rd grade. He wants them to have the grace of the sacrament sooner and doesn’t want it to be something that is used to keep young people active in the church.

I was confirmed in the 10th grade because it was supposed to be closer to an age that we would be making an adult decision. I actually didn’t want to be confirmed and was sort of forced to. I think I knew deep down I hadn’t been well catechized and nothing I was presented with made me think that being confirmed (that it’s a sacrament, receiving the Holy Spirit) or embracing the Catholic church as an adult was something I wanted to do. It was a ho-hum obligation type thing. Sad really.
 
I don’t have any strong opinion about the proper age to confirm someone, but I do think it should be the same in all the dioceses in the U.S.A. People move around quite a bit in this country and it is easy to fall through the cracks and not get confirmed. The diocese we previously lived in confirmed 11th graders. Then we moved to a new diocese where they confirmed 6th graders. When we moved my daughter was in the 10th grade. She almost missed getting confirmed. I finally got the DRE to give her private instruction when she was in 12th grade. No way did she want to take confirmation classes with 6th graders.
 
I say have confirmation at ages 9,10,11. That’s the way the SSPX does it and their seminaries are full.
 
I voted for during high school. I was confirmed during my junior year and felt that it was a good overall time for it. In order to get confirmed we had to spend about 5-6 months in a confirmation class that met every other week for about 3 hours and go on a retreat. During that time I learned alot about the faith and grew a great deal spiritually. If I had been confirmed earlier (8th grade or sooner) I think the expirience would have been less meaningful and I may have been less likely to stick with the Faith when I went through more difficult times in later years.
 
I put “other.” As has been pointed out, Confirmation was given prior to Eucharist. Waiting until the person is “ready” is not helpful save for a few intances. Get 'em while they’re young and untainted, says I. When i was Confirmed (age 17!!!), we were told that it was that late because we were becoming adults, and we were making a decision to be fully Catholic. “BS” though i, after all, I was baptized Catholic, i received Our Lord’s precious Body for a decade, and now i find out that i can choose to be Catholic. That did not sit well with me, since my parents made me Catholic at Baptism (which i do not regret, they knew waht was good for me). No choice without condemnation thereafter. There is the Church and there is “other.” If a child is baptized, he ought to be given every weapon he can get to fight the evil that pervades the world. Denying such powerful grace is a great disservice and disadvantage.

Now i am Byzantine Catholic. Both my children have been baptized, chrismated and receive our Lord’s most sacred Body and Life-giving Blood. (That was an aside). We have in our Church a system of catechesis that goes from prior to first Confession through adulthood, as well as the catechesis from the Liturgy (where it is celebrated in toto). To my mind, there ought to be a formal catechesis for adults as well to further along their knowledge and appreciation of the Faith (my parents parish has a program-the pastor teaches the adults while the kids are in CCD; there are also day-time catechetics on Wednesdays during Lent and Advent for retirees). If we have more for folks to do (classes, retreats as Church services), then that will show the youth how important the Church is, and we will lose fewer of them (as opposed to the current system of Mass on Sunday, then dumping the kids CCD for an hour, and then Confirmation classes and poof, no more).

So, the best solution is-the Sacraments of Initiation as early as possible, encourage a developed life in the Church and in the parish, provide substantial catechesis from the cradle to the grave, and get the whole family involved. Church life is about union with God, the Body of Christ, and each other; renewing and evangelizing the world through conversion, which is best done by example; and overthrowing the powers that pervert and have control over us and the world. This can only be done with the grace of God, and with the support of each other, in and through the Body of Christ.

Sorry for the rant.

In Christ,
Adam
 
I answered Other.

As a Byzantine Catholic, we do not separate the Mysteries of Initiation. That is Baptism, Chrismation (Confirmation) and First Euchraist all occur at the same time.

I do understand the reasons behind the way the Latin Church confers these Mysteries (Sacraments) but …

I think Chrismation should occur before First Eucharist and I think we need to change the mindset in many people as they view Chrismation as some sort of Catholic Bar Mitzvah.
 
Thank you to the Byzantine Catholics for entering the discussion.

The manner in which the Byzantine Rite confers the Sacraments of Initiation puts a strong emphasis on the act of grace through the Sacraments. This is something that is often ignored in the Latin Rite, especially in Confirmation.

Akemner also makes a good point in noting that adults in the parish should receive catechetical instruction. The Church affirms that the parents are the first and principle educators of their children. If we want the children to understand their faith two principles must be coexistent: the necessary grace (especially those graces received through the Sacraments), and well-formed parents, who are working to educate their children.
 
Greetings Church
I said High School because when I was in Southern California, our Bishop wanted the kids to be at least Juniors in High School. I spent several years teaching these kids and going with them to Confirmation Retreats.
They were very able to understand what their Baptism was all about, the promises made by parents and God parents. They were ready to confirm those Promises and begin maturing in the Holy Spirit.
I was usually assigned about half dozen hard core boys. I loved working with them and most often they came to a true Metanoia and Personal conversion.
These kids were required to write a letter to the Pastor, explaining why they wanted to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation and make an appointment for an interview with him.
When they were finally Confirmed, the Sacrament had profound meaning to them.
We worked very hard at making this really important to them and to meet them at their age level.

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I didn’t have time to read through all the posts so I am sorry if this has already been said. I chose age of reason. We just learned about this, because we were playing the game divinity and it was one of the questions(we answered wrong) so we asked our priest. I am a new convert and my husband is a revert so we weren’t sure. Confirmation is not becoming an adult in the Church. It used to be done before first communion or with it, because of the graces. Actually first communion was done later and confirmation was switched, but then the people started taking first communion later and later and some not at all. So the church decided first communion at age of reason and do confirmation shortly after, but now it has been more to the other extreme where confirmation is getting later and later. The confirmation graces are soo important. Our priest told us that some diocease are going back to age of reason for first communion and confirmation. I hope our does also. Of course I think that there should be exceptions to that, but for the most part I am age of reason all the way.
 
My wife and I are Confirmation class teachers, and currently it occurs when the young adults are in the 10th grade. We couldn’t imagine it any earlier because of the way these students have been taught. Confirmation is the re-confirming of the Baptismal vows and recieving the Holy Spirit. The whole becoming an adult in the church thing has passed on. The knowledge level coming into our classes is generally below what you would expect. For example:

One girl thought Pontius Pilate was a place, not a person.

None of the children knew that Jesus had fled to Egypt, and about the slaughter of the innocents.

There were various items regarding our basic beliefs that they didn’t know.

I even had several of the students ask me why they hadn’t learned this stuff before 10th grade.

The education program has become very liberal and tolerant, my wife and I have our hands full trying to straighten things out.
 
I chose “other” I am a Latin Rite Catholic, but I feel that the sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation should not be seperated, a person who is baptized should be confirmed immedietly afterwards or as soon as the Bishop can celebrate it. I believe the Eastern Rites practice this.
 
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