Matthew12:
To be frank, I too am a little confused, gusano. Though, I would love to hear your story. Thanks in advance.
Your brother in Christ,
Matt
To Matthew,
my brother in Christ,
My first experience with the power at the Altar was one Sunday as we were Arriving at the Cathedral of our Lady of Lourdes.
I had just turned the ignition off as a car drove up next to ours and I could hear the dad scolding his children.
“This man sounds just like a vicious, growling dog” I said to my self… and the Holy Spirit said:
"That is exactly how you sound when you growl at your children."
I was stunned !,…in a moment all my life of rage and hidden anger was played back to me as if I were watching a movie of my history, …this rage that peeked its ugly head now and then.
At times I recognized this was something other than my self acting viciously against those whom I loved, or should have loved.
I was confused, astonished, amazed, embarrassed, bewildered, dumbfounded, …what can I say ?,
I wanted to hide, …run away !
Little Joey precious grabbed my hand and said;" Let’s go, dad".
as we walked from the parking lot to the entrance of the Cathedral.
I was thinking of where I could go hide while Mass was going on, …go have a beer …or seven, while my family was in mass where Jesus “supposedly is”.
I couldn’t scrape Joey and Nic’s hands away from mine so I could go hide some where, so…I sort of tagged along between these two little "body guards.
as I walked up the steps I was struck with the thought ;
Compared to all the places I could go to hide, there is no better place to be than at this Liturgy.
(Mind you, at this time in my life I had experienced my first Cursillo and helped in many more, I had experienced The Baptism of the Holy Spirit with tongues, and several gifts, and was involved in much ministry, I considered myself a “leader in Christianity”, etc, etc.)
I walked into this Mass red handed, I was caught and no way out.
There was no one who could get me out of this .
I can’t go back and correct all that long history of vicious hidden rage, secretly hiding,… and I couldn’t go forward, convicted as I was.
So, I humiliated as I was , by my own thoughts and revelations, as God brought all my sins of anger, resentments, jealousies, egotism… before my eyes… I knelt down like I have done for many years and looked towards the Altar, as I always have.
But this time, maybe 5-10 minutes before Mass began,
I Admitted to The Lord that all this I was shown was true, I couldn’t deny any of it…“I surrender to you right here at this Altar.”
If I could, I would lay my entire body and all that I am on this holy Altar and ask you to remove all my guts, (I remembered when I hunted deer and I learned how to "gut a deer "
Of Course I knew that If I went up and laid down ON THE ALTAR… they would call the police and “carry away a lunitic”.
so from My Pew. I offered My heart to the Lord, alive (or dead) as I was…then, Mass began !
as I listened to the rites in, and all through, the Mass, I was surprized to learn that the Mass was designed
for sinners such as I. Custom made, to fit exactly !
"lift up your hearts to the Lord".
so I let it all go !
The entire Mas went very calm, very Peaceful, there were no “big revelations” or “visions” …it just seemed like an extraordinarily, ORDINARY MASS.
I walked out of that Liturgy KNOWING that God had recieved my offer and that He had removed from me that “hidden viciousness” of Anger I had carried in me since as far back as I can remember.
as I “monitored” myself, (or better yet) as the Angel of the Lord has monitored me, He assures me after all these yearrs that,
that Anger has been carried away for ever.
As a matter of fact, I have had to “pretend to be angry” a few times in order to give correction.
Later I ran across Romans 12: 1 which co-responds exactly to… "“Lift up your Hearts to the Lord.”
and Matt. 23: 19…which confirms WHO IS BEHIND THE “VEIL” there !
Actually, quite a few years went by, since my deliverance from anger, before I began to “offer my living body” to Him at the Altar.
In other words; the experience came first , then THANK GOD,
the Catechetics came to clear all things up.
In His possession
God Bless
gusano
